There are probably less than 5 emails in our internal helpdesk queue this month that WEREN'T marked as urgent.
Urgent problems this month include: 'The glare from my kitchen window washes out my laptop screen', 'How do I change the color of my folders icon?' and 'Client reports hearing faint mumbling from their org's landing page'
I handled the last one personally, she had a forgotten tab with a looping podcast playing on very low for the last few days.
Yes, you're correct, customer. The more likely answer is not that I am telling the truth, it is that I get off on being willfully obstinate and making up for problems. I'm out to get you.
The truth is I just enjoy wasting your time and my time. I don't care about my metrics. It's not tied to my bonus or anything. My one purpose in life is to slow you down and to spite you.
You can actually get yourself out of the prerecorded script and into actual problem solving if you list all the things you did, yell a little bit, and then say you're not yelling at the technician you're just frustrated by their company. Guess what!? They hate their company too
This is incorrect. On your first call to nearly any customer service you are getting a script reading grunt that literally will lose their job if they go off script.
You will need to go through the script regardless.
What the ACTUAL trick is convincing the script reading grunt that this is critical enough to escalate to a tier2 helpdesk rep.
THAT'S when the real actual problem solving happens.
Not yelling at all is a good step, an even better step is to open immediately with "Hey I know it's not your fault, and you just work there, but I've been tearing my hair out over this for blah blah blah."
Tell them you turned it off and unplugged it when you actually didn't, just to troll them. Don't worry, IT guys love that sort of humour. You can tickle them a little bit while they glance over your screen as well.
Thankfully my customers don't have physical access to the servers. But I have told somebody to pull all the power plugs out of the wall and read me the serial numbers between the prongs once to force them to power off.
As someone on the other end of this, it’s incredibly frustrating when tickets are submitted, detailed issues provided, and then nothing happens for weeks only to be met with an “are you still having that problem we didn’t fix?” Reply, then asking for all the information present in the ticket, only to have the problem continue to not be fixed. No, it is not a user error when Adobe can’t validate an enterpise license or teams cannot make a voice call without crashing.