Funny thing about Survival of the Fittest. People who hold that as a social belief always assume that they're going to be "the fittest", never even crosses their minds that self serving ideologies can turn on you.
Funnily enough, this topic is covered in classical literature - "Crime and punishment" by Dostoevsky. But everyone focuses on stupid ass religion metaphors and bs about self-sacrifice.
Lotta folks watch movies about cool and hip grifters who outsmart everyone and get away with everything, and start thinking themselves the same. They think they can just get a credit and not return it, "beating the system" like the hip, cool, smart cats they are
I need to do something about my rage. It's getting the best of me, seeping even into my dreams. Have you ever woken up because you were so absurdly pissed off in your dream? I have. It's not healthy. But I don't know what to do about it, seeing how a lot of it is caused by factors beyond my control - i.e. dumbasses in traffic and the ongoing war
<3 i wasn't ever at the level you're describing but i understand what it's like to be a 24/7 fury factory. i really hope you find some measure of peace.