China: Two women spark debate after locking girl in plane toilet
China: Two women spark debate after locking girl in plane toilet
The airline said that the girl's grandmother had given the two women permission to "educate her".
An incident which saw two women lock a crying toddler in an aeroplane toilet has sparked an online debate in China on how to manage children in public spaces.
The incident went viral on the Chinese internet after one of the two women, Gou Tingting, posted a video of herself carrying the girl inside the cubicle.
In her post, she presented herself as trying to help others on board, but was swiftly met with backlash.
Last time I flew, I had a screaming baby in front of me, a screaming baby behind me, and a screaming baby next to me. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t relax, and my noise-cancelling headphones did very little to help. Know what I didn’t do? Complain, berate the parents, or confine the babies to an unsafe and enclosed space.
Babies cry. There’s usually nothing they or their parents can do about it. That’s life. Flying sucks, and this is just a part of it.
62This is why I'll probably never travel unless I can take a boat or something. Crying babies aggravate my misophonia to such a severe degree that I will do everything in my power to not be trapped in a small space with even one(no i dont have children.)
So airplanes are a no go. Basically anywhere else I can remove myself. But in a plane you're stuck. I know babies can't help crying, and I can't help my reaction, but I can also choose to not get on a plane. Babies go where their adult takes them.
If I can logically parse out that airplanes aren't a mode of transit I can tolerate maybe others should do the same. Then maybe kids won't get locked in freaking bathrooms over this shit.
20Totally. Having self-awareness is step one. Acting on that self-awareness is step two. Sadly most people don’t even get to step one, so you’re way ahead of the curve.
12
Good on you! I've found the best thing to do with upset babies is try to engage with the kid - ask the parents first(!) but babies are fascinated by new people in a way that parents can't fulfill.
Story time: I had a crying 6mth old next to me earlier this year so I pulled out the safety sheet (asked the mum if I can show him this), channeled my inner Wiggles and kick-started it with a big, excited interruption to his crying: "wow, look at the plane!" The unexpected, strange interaction short circuits their focus on being upset and he just stopped and started at me like "wtf is this dude on?". Once I had his attention I started pointing and describing all the pictures, then gave him the page. This turned into a 10min game of point at the picture, say the word or a story then hand it back. My names and descriptions for the people on the page got more crazy each time - after all, his were nonsensical too! I even got a few giggles as I kept it animated with hand gestures and big smiles. That turned into pointing out the windows or different things in the cabin.
The kid eventually got bored of the games after about 15-20 mins but had already forgotten he was upset and then peacefully interacted with his mum again for the rest of the flight. I got back to my book while he had the sky mag to read along like me and would still point out different pictures to me or check my book, puzzled why they were no pictures!
I even scored a tiny-dude high five as they were leaving which everyone knows are the best high fives.
Best flight I've had all year!
7That's some expert baby-handling, very cute!
2
Yeah, noise cancelling headphones aren't designed for that.
2
I don't support it, but man, I get it...
39I saw a post yesterday berating a woman for wanting to give her toddler melatonin so it would sleep during a flight. Like, why is that a problem? We drug animals for flights all the time, it's practically a requirement. Until the age of at least 5, kids are essentially animals with just as little self-control. Hell, even after that, they tend to have less control than well-trained dogs.
Especially age 2 and younger. A child that young is not going to understand what is happening. Being forced to sit and be quiet for several hours while the pressure fucks with their ears is basically torturing them. Not only do I think it's ok to give them something that would help them sleep through it, I think it should be mandatory.
12It should be noted that you really can’t overdose on melatonin. After a certain level, it has no more effect and is broken down and excreted.
22
This is interesting.
It's fascinating how different people and different cultures view this stuff.
I'll say this: the grandmother doesn't get enough attention in this article. To start with, I simply don't think it's considerate at all to fly with a one year old. I didn't fly with my kid until he was about two and a half, specifically because one year olds have little to no self control, and the air pressure can be very painful. It's just bad for the kid and other passengers. And then this grandmother gives the kid some random person? Does that person have kids of their own? It's odd that the article doesn't say.
I don't think confining the child to the restroom was effective or healthy. Now I don't think it's child abuse... unless perhaps if you're filming it for TikTok. As soon as the woman is performing for likes, her credibility as a responsible care giver evaporates. I think filming it was probably the dumbest part of the story.
Really, "L"s for everyone all around.
15What?!
Flying is not always a choice, sometimes you have to go somewhere. And yeah, sometimes they cry, it sucks. When flying a pair of earplugs should be in your pocket.
Locking a child in a small room is child abuse. And when done by a stranger how is it not holding someone hostage.
15You've been forced on a plane against your will?! Flying is 100% a choice (a privilege even to afford it), and it's even more of a choice to bring unruly screaming children/babies that cannot be controlled (not their fault).
Imagine I owned a large Bluetooth speaker that, randomly against my wishes, blasted cacophonous screaming sounds at unpredictable intervals and volumes. I would probably not bring this into a flight because of how embarrassing it would be to disrupt others and ruin their flight. Maybe as the speaker got older in a year or two and could follow instructions and be parented, but not before then.
4
Having spent my childhood in Asia, child abuse is more or less normalised there. The social expectation is that adults are infallible authority figures and children are meant to be obedient at all times (i.e. absolutely quiet).
I also wonder if 20th century social and political turmoil caused many Asian parents to have anger issues and in turn, cause generational trauma. One reason I dislike the idea that Boomers were handed everything to them on a silver platter is because it neglects the fact that much of the world were former colonies. And the post-colonial status of many countries had been very rough-- experiencing inter-ethnic and international wars, proxy wars (Vietnam War and Soviet-Afghan War comes to mind) and corrupt dictatorships that do not invest well in their people causing poverty.
These turmoils and trauma caused many unresolved psychological issues. The victims of these strifes then become parents, who take out their issues to their children. And in turn, these children become parents who believe that hitting their own children constitutes as good parenting, because that was how they were raised.
12Not great, but at least she was being considerate of other passengers. Sometimes kids have serious meltdowns, and reasonable solutions aren’t possible.
4I would agree with you if she went into the restroom with the child to soothe it rather than just locked it in there.
11That definitely would have been better. Probably more effective, too.
8
No, you don’t abuse children to be “considerate of others”.
Sometimes kids have serious meltdowns, you wait for them to end.
6
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