6 days ago • 99%

Online banter has changed

23 comments

I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do your mom

54
- Afterwards, could you give me a hug and tell me you believe in me?
  
  36
  
  After? During!
  
  14
  
  Of course I beleive in you. If you didn't already know that, then I'm sorry for letting you down.
  
  Instead, how about afterwards I give you a hug and we work on helping you beleive in yourself?
  
  5
- Doin your mom
  
  2
- Yeah I fucked yr mom too
  
  1
Ouch. Nerve hit.

I am unashamedly the engaging and fun dad/uncle, and I have had multiple kids of friends straight up say to me I’m their dad, like while playing with them and my son who is their age.

It seems sad at first, but then I think to myself that if they’re so hungry for a father figure I’m going to give them attention and set the best example I can, because these little humans matter. And I do not feed into the father label, of course.

The couple kids that come to mind do have fathers at home. Though admittedly one I never see at get-togethers and the other is a proper piece of shit.

40
- This is so wholesome. Please, keep being kind to those kids.
  
  12
  
  Always! 🫡
  
  6
- Yeaaah I'm really good with kids and play with them interactively when some of the parents never do and are pretty mean to them. It's really awkward to me when they unpromptedly refer to me as dad. One even repeatedly tells his mom and dad he wished I was his dad instead. I can tell the father doesn't like me now and it makes it really awkward
  
  7
  
  That sucks that you're being punished with awkwardness just because they don't know how to listen and interact with their kids the way the kids want to be interacted with.
  
  3
- It seems sad at first, but then I think to myself that if they’re so hungry for a father figure I’m going to give them attention and set the best example I can, because these little humans matter. And I do not feed into the father label, of course.
  
  It seems sad at first, but
  
  It just seems sad.
  
  4
  
  Agreed. I probably could have phrased it better, but I was trying to describe how I make the choice to not dwell on it and instead put my energy into making the world a little better for them however I can.
  
  3
"Your mom so fat your father left"
"Your dad so broke he sold you"
"Fatherless? skill issue"
"You're a living reminder"
"Did you hear from your dad yet"
"IPad kid"
"Jordon Peterson isn't your dad"
"Andrew Tate isn't your dad"
"Bro got Hussled University"
Feel free to use when you lose in an online video game.

28
Daddy?

7
- UwU
  
  5
- I've been around in my time, but I seriously doubt I'm your pops.
  
  1
Well ... You could stop having sex with their moms.

6
That happened to me once like 20 years ago. A kid I ran into on borderlands wanted me to pretend I was his dad. I was not old enough to do so.

6
- You should have said “sure” then fucked his mom and gone out for a pack of cigarettes
  
  4
  
  I went one further, and now I've been married to his mom for 20 years. She doesn't know it's because the kid and I are still role-playing.
  
  3
When i was a kid, that would've been a baseball game he's talking about.

Edit: and the banter would have taken place in a bar. With the same chance of no one hearing my banter, like it is online nowadays.

I guess nothing beats the chance of eventually being heard by billions online.

3

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