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  • Maybe it’s just this bleary Friday but feeling in a definite work rut of late. So I apologise for probably the deepest/longest post I’ve ever made online.

    I’ve been in my (IT/AV/technical) industry 25 years, and at my current job almost 10, but due to some SERIOUS imposter syndrome am still pretty much doing the same work now that I was doing back in the day.

    Around 15-20 years ago I was doing much more technically complex work than I am now and climbed to some higher leadership levels, but HATAED managing people so quit that job and dropped right back to the coal face where I’ve been ever since, with pretty much zero progression.

    My boss’ boss - we were both at the same level when I first started. My manager, I trained them when they joined as a junior, helped them rise up to a role at my level, and then eventually supported them to go higher and they’re now my boss.

    I’ve been approached by other groups over the years to join/help out/move up, but I’ve pushed back every time because I can’t help but think “I can’t do that”, “they THINK I know more than I actually do”, “if they find out I’m actually crap I’ll be unemployed with a family to support”, "I've hit the limit of what I'm capable of".

    GAH. I wish I could just appreciate what I’ve got, but I come to work completely on autopilot, can’t remember the last time I actually had to use my brain for anything, and seem to just be the guy everyone turns to for help/advice, train new staff and to help further their own careers. Imposter syndrome blows. Wish I had the kind of personality that could fake it till I make it.

    OK vent over, time for more coffee.

    • There's a thing called The Peter Principle - where you rise in the organisation until you reach your level of incompetence. I have to congratulate you on avoiding this horrible fate. Horrible both for yourself and others. I'm not being ironic here - if more people had a realistic idea of their own competencies then the world would DEFINITELY be a better place.
      So props to you for being honest with yourself about what you can AND are willing to do. It's not strictly speaking imposter syndrome I think, unless you really want to play a competitive game of I'm better than you are, nyer nyer nyer. There is much to like about a regular and adequate for purpose pay packet.
      Check out Dilbert syndrome online too, where incompetents are promoted to a level where they cannot impede production ....

    • It’s perfectly fine to not want to ‘move up’ to management. I do what I do because the hands on stuff is interesting. Why would I replace that with management bullshit for a smidge more money and no fun?!?! Yes, we end up with on paper senior people very much our junior. My issues about that are person specific not directly age based.

      • Oh I agree completely. My 'junior' manager is the best boss I've ever had! Totally cut out for it.

        No way I'd ever want to take on a management role again, just wish I had the guts to push through to something at a "technically" higher level.

    • I don’t know anything about the industry but that actually seems like an important role and good job security. Seconding the point about not getting promoted into a position that’s a poor fit/stresses you out. If you’re financially secure and not hating it a job can just be a job.

      But if it’s getting too stagnant you could ask for a side project or (lower pressure) take one up yourself? Do you have enough comfort with your boss that you can bring this up?

  • I feel like this yo-yo weather is making all my houseplants sad. Don't worry guys, I feel just as wilty and confused as you do right now! On the plus side I think the humidity is helping some of them...

  • I haven't made miso soup in so long that the last remaining bit I have has dried up and gone flaky. I've put it in the hot stock to slowly dissolve anyway. Let's hope it's still good for my gut.

    Long time since I've had Japanese. Made asparagus goma-ae (sesame dressing - hand ground the seeds but i think I added too much soy sauce), rice is cooking, miso soup will be plain and I will just have some TINNED FISH (the last I have atm) as a side. Maybe soak some shiitake overnight for a side protein tomorrow.

    • Emergency situation. No tinned fish left? You need to drop everything and go to Coles worth or KT Mart

      • Quite the emergency, but it's rather cold out ... and I'll be gone for three weeks in a few days... but then again I don't want to be caught without supplies when I get back...

  • Watched “Asteroid City” last night. Still processing it lol🫠 I will say it’s the most Wes Anderson thing I’ve ever seen haha.

  • Kind of digging these cool days. Shorts and hoodie are the best combo.

    • Actual conversation with my phone today:
      "Hey Google, is it hot outside?"
      "No, it is 30° and sunny."

      The English dude who sits next to me laughed at that.

    • Rocking an old hockey jersey, sleeves rolled up. Core is nice and cozy, and the arms are free to do what they want. Definitely feeling it.

  • I'm so burned out with my masters degree at the moment. late on everything and the quality of all my work is awful. feels like I will have to write to my professors apologising for doing such a terrible job 🫠

  • When I bought my phone with a stylus it was mostly because I thought it would help with my gardening record keeping, and I'm pretty happy with how it's working out so far. In the past I've kept switching between computerised databases and handwriting, and nothing really worked out, but this allows me to do a combination of both. I've got a database for the plant varieties & a diary of what I'm doing, and I can use the phone to take photos, write notes directly on them, and then send them to the app as a new diary note I can add details to later.

  • Took myself out to the city for a spot of shopping, ramen + beer for dins, then ice cream from Piccolina for dessert which was delicious. Down the laneway was a Pidapipo which had a nightclub line. I waited in no line for my ice cream. Is it that much better? I swear people see a line and think yep I need to go there.

  • Lamb Roast for dinner tonight, perfect weather for it.

    Things are looking a bit warmer next week, which will be nice. Just hoping the rain stays away tomorrow morning so I can walk to the voting point without getting soggy.

  • My gamble paid off and my sleepbought vacuum bags and filters arrive today! Well, between that and the air purifier I guess it means I can thoroughly get rid of whatever dust accumulates while I'm away.

  • omg, I've been banned from the newspaper comments section

    thinking what was it I said that could have riled people

    I implied someone was stupid for not detecting sarcasm . Looks like they really couldn't take a joke.

    There is so much agitprop/propaganda/lies out there at moment, I suggest go to sources like BBC and nyt only . Very reliable ones.

  • Torn between that feeling of complete apathy to the work I do, and a burning passion to protect the area of knowledge and ability that I've carved out for myself.

    Like, on the on hand: couldn't give melted diarrhoea in a plastic cup, as much as the work gives me the bum squirts due to stress. But on the other hand: I will ball my fist around a roll of dollar coins and smack a bish who steps on my plot.

    • Hard, hard relate! But it makes it easier to step away and relinquish the power work has over your psyche when you give up your turf and let it be other peoples' problems...

      • Definitely - we have some time off coming up and it cannot come sooner, if nothing else other than to lock the door on that part of my mind, since I know this feeling only hits during work hours (thanks to a healthy dose of a decent work life balance that I've fought hard for). Plus, closing the laptop lid tonight will feel very sweet knowing the weekend is upon us.

  • just reheated stuff from the freezer for dinner tonight, there is a mystery meat pie as well as pizzas ???? 😂

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