4mo ago

RFK Jr. Claims Measles Can Be Cured With A Good Concealer

theonion.com RFK Jr. Claims Measles Can Be Cured With A Good Concealer

WASHINGTON—In the wake of a growing outbreak that has sickened hundreds and killed two in West Texas and New Mexico, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed Friday that measles could be cured with a good concealer. “If you contract measles or suspect you have contracted mea...

"The truth is, if Americans just had proper access to lightweight cosmetic products capable of hiding blemishes, eliminating uneven skin tone, and highlighting natural complexion, measles could be eradicated.”

19 comments

Ate the onion. Full bite and all. Satire is dead.
- Same. I was about to ask who doesn’t have access to concealer. Damn it’s been years since when got me this good.
- Me too. But in our defense, it wouldn't be the stupidest thing he's ever said, had he actually said it.

Thought this was real for a second
- Just wait a few more seconds. Chances are you’ll be right soon.
- It isn't far from Trump's official position that diseases (like covid) are only a problem if we test for them.