Matchless in the Digital Age

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Don't use dating apps, they're not worth your time.
If you're a guy you're going to be doing all of the messaging and conversational work almost all of the time.
Just go get a hobby that involves meeting up with people and something will happen organically. Also you'll be happier and get better interpersonal skills.
- But all of my hobbies are total sausage fests
  
  But make friends with someone that has female friends.
  That's the only route in, in that case.
  
  Might be worthwhile to investigate if you like sausage then...
  
  What are your hobbies if you don't mind me asking?
- It’s how I kinda met my girlfriend and our 1 year anniversary is coming up in a few month so I must be doing something right
  But we had two college classes and we’re both like “this person is so weird I should hang out with them” and we had a lot in common and eventually our friendship turned into dating

Try being on the apps for a year without a match. Really helps boost the old self esteem.
- Do young people not go places to meet new people anymore? I haven't been single since dating apps got real popular, but I still feel most people who partner up probably aren't meeting on the Internet.
  I haven't been single in a long time, but any time I go out there always seems to be single women looking for company, at least enough to try hitting on a dude with a ring.
  
  Less walkable communities, less free time, and more remote work lead to isolation. Our capitalist society was not designed for meeting people, it was designed to make people work
  
  Where exactly am I supposed to meet people, the grocery store? I could go to bars but I don't drink. People always say to join groups or meet people through hobbies but all of my hobbies are complete sausage fests. Dating people you work with is usually a bad idea but that doesn't matter anyways because almost all of the people I work with are men. People say just meet more friends but I already have more friends than I can keep up with. Actually most of those friends are even women. But none of them are around my age, single, and interested in dating me.
  I'm starting to become convinced that single women who are my age don't actually exist. I'm not sure what bank vault the government is keeping them locked up in but it certainly isn't anywhere I go. The dating app minefield is the only place I've even been able to find women who are around my age. Like I legitimately don't know where they all go. It's baffling. They just don't seem to exist anywhere outside of dating apps.
  
  It’s a matter of perceived convenience and a low threshold I guess. A dating app needs you to be strong and put yourself out there once and after that you’re automatically presenting yourself to possible partners indefinitely. And you can do it from home. Less work, less anxiety, basically no effect when getting rejected because you don’t even know.
- Nothing brings you back down to earth quite like dating apps.
- Thousands of potential matches took one look and realized you were too amazing for them to have a chance, decided they'd rather swipe left than be swiped left on, or see the disappointment in your eyes when you met.
- Pretty much all of the dating apps are owned by the same company and they're all a scam. They want your to pay to subscribe and then pay to boost your account or they're otherwise practically useless.

I've always found to have more luck on dating sites like Plenty of Fish and OKcupid than I do on the more modern dating apps.
I don't know if any of them do this today, but I really liked the ones that had personality quizzes and matched people to you via personal compatibility.
Those personality tests netted me several relationships and 2 consecutive marriages.
To me, I see that as highly effective.
- I want one based of Spotify recommendations.
  
  That's actually a really good idea.
  You can tell a lot about a person by the flavor of their earworms.
  
  There is one that does that but its mostly focused towards alt/goth/metal people.
- OkCupid is terrible, it's basically just Tinder at this point, in fact the literally all owned by the same company anyway.
  
  That's really sad to hear. It was a uniquely user driven platform back in the day.
  Its fall was like when pre-2023 Reddit became modern Reddit.

5'7" for fail units.
- Literally just a bit under average height unless anon is Dutch or something.

What's khv?
- Kissless, handhold-less, virgin
  
  And he's worried about that at 19? Gotta bump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers. Wait until you're 40 and in the same boat.
- Kissless, Hugless, Virgin or Kissless, Handhold-less, Virgin. (Khhv = kissless, hugless, handhold-less, virgin)

Yeah it's not easy. And it sucks to have to market yourself like a product.

Find groups that meet and have your interests.

There's a reason none of these sites/apps share data anymore. It was way too depressing.

55 comments