1y ago

Children are a burden.

I have kids that I raise, they are great kids, I love them to death but if someone thinks kids aren't a burden (of any sort) than they're lying.

99 comments

Who tf thinks they aren't a burden, how is this an unpopular opinion?
- Trust me, there are people who think it's a sin to use the word "burden" when speaking of kids. They are insane IMO
  
  Sounds like they have the unpopular opinion
  
  There's so much stigma around this sort of thing. It's getting better, but the mindset that children are a gift and parents should be constantly grateful for that gift is still very prevalent.
  The reality is that whilst children are absolutely incredible, life affirming and all that good stuff...an awful lot of being a parent is frankly, horrible.
  
  People who believes in sin are insane. Pay them no mind
  
  In the history of the world, probably only baby boomers and maybe some of X thought this. Any time else in history, kids are there only due to the desire to fuck. Hell, the Romans drove a plant extinct with their need for birth control.
  
  "Babees are such miracles!"
- Many people think it, few people say it out lout.

Today on wildly popular opinion

https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/happiness-spigot
Best summary to this topic I've ever seen.
- I kinda wish it would expand on the fact that for some people, the constant care and all that is not for them, and doesn't make it "a good deal" Other than that it's a great summary, coming from someone that doesn't want any.

Anyone who does NOT think kids are a burden either doesn't have kids or doesn't give a sh*t about raising them right. If you are an actually responsible adult and parent, and you intend to give your kids all the attention, care and love they demand and deserve, then it WILL be taxing. It WILL eat up your time and energy for years to come. You WILL have sleepless nights, and unexpected challenges. You WILL be exhausted, frustrated and defeated at times.
The difference is that good parents feel like that tradeoff is worth it. That your beloved family / children matter most, even tho they are a burden. This isn't an "either/or" situation where struggling automatically means that you can't be happy about the struggle. Children can be the light of your life AND the most annoying thing in the universe at the same time, and a good parent will still love them whatever happens.
- slow clap and wipes a tear

Literally standing in my kitchen right now reading this at 645am, awake since 4 because my sick 2 year old has been crying and screaming non stop, my wife in bed upstairs with our 2 day old new born, and I'm covered in peanut butter trying to make a nutritious lunch for my 5 year old for school. I have to wake her up soon to get her started. Make eggs for breakfast.
Her booster seat isn't fitting in the middle seat between my sons car seat and infant newborn car seat. So I have to fix that before we leave. My son is most likely drawing on the walls in the entertainment room.
And before 9 I need to feed the chickens and relieve my wife from her sleepless night with a newborn.
Burden is an understatement. Having a sore back is a burden. Having kids is a dynamic lifestyle change. And while sometimes I imagine not having kids and how amazing it would be to be free from that lifestyle, it always comes to the same conclusion: I wouldn't exchange my family life for anything. My children are me and I wouldn't remove them as much as I wouldn't remove my back because it was sore.
- First of all, keep up the good work, it sounds like you're an awesome dad and husband my man. I never wanted kids but I now have 6, some of them put me through some shit but I wouldn't trade any of it for a child-free life.
  
  How do you end up with 6 kids if you never wanted any?

Children ARE a burden but entitled parents are a bigger burden.
- Entitled parent: "I raised you, you owe me!!!"
  Child: "you made a decision to bring me in to the world, I had no say in this at all"

I live them to death
Is that a typo or the unpopular part?
- Lol thanks

What a stupid post. No one thinks kids aren't a burden.
- Sounds like you just don't know as many different types of people as you think you do. There are plenty of people who drone on endlessly about how children are nothing but a blessing, how perfect parenthood is, and a bunch of other lies that they may or may not actually believe.
- Than you don't know my ex who almost popped a vein when I said "the burden of the kids is on my shoulders" and she started making like it was blasphemous to think or say that about kids.
  
  She should post her opinion here.

Idk how unpopular this is. Everyone I've ever talked to said that children are a burden. Of course they are. It's hard work to grow plant, lol, and these are whole people. The acronym DINK exists for a reason. That said, it's a worthwhile burden. I love being a parent.
Who have you met that said raising kids isn't a burden?
- They exists, they are the people who wants kids and can't have them, the people who think kids can do no wrong, and then there's my ex-wife who actually is burden by our kids when she has them but doesn't want to say they are a burden because it would make her look bad lol

If I don't put gas in my car it won't move. Fueling my car is a burden, but generally I think it is worth it.
- Praising cars on lemmy? It's a bold move, Cotton.
- I would argue that fuel and kids are not a burden as it is a net positive. Burden would imply for no gain.

I went to a Nerd Night where a positive psychologist shared about PERMA, a break down of the pillars of being happy: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment.
Her take on kids (based on her research) was that P,E,R, and A definitely take a hit, but parents consistently had the highest happines when it came to Meaning in their life. Overall advice on the question of "Do kids make you more happy than no kids?" was "It really depends on the person."
- Sounds like an interesting Nerd Night.

All humans are a burden
- Amen, fellow misanthropist.
- The benefit of kids is that on average they become less of a burden over time. meanwhile adults, especially of certain generations klinging to the means of production, power and denying political change necessary to keep the earth livable, are just becoming more of a fucking burden for everyone else every god damn year and they also act all smug about it.
  
  klinging
  Apparently you think life is just donkey Kong country?

Yup.
I've got two (5,1). I absolutely adore them both, but I'd be lying if I said that having kids hasn't made my life significantly harder, my mental health significantly worse and my sense of self significantly weaker.
- One thing I can say is enjoy it while it lasts LOL!
  When they get older you miss those days when they were small and easy to understand. Those teenage years, hell.
  
  I guess at the very least I get to enjoy their excited faces when I get home from work. Can't imagine you get much of that when they pass you on the way to their bedroom later on?

Solution: don't have kids
Solution two: use protection

What app are you using for Lemmy? Your post url references itself which is really weird.
- Boost for Lemmy on Android
  I'm seeing the correct URL so I wonder what's up
  
  Thanks. I’m seeing it with other users of Boost so it seems like a Boost bug.

I'm convinced that having kids causes a brain chemistry change that makes parents willing to deal with their children. Otherwise, the majority of people would never have kids or abandon them shortly after birth.
- My mom says babies are cute because otherwise more would end up in dumpsters.
  She also told me she didn't like kids. I asked her why she had so many, then? "Well, I like you all NOW, I knew you would grow up."
  Which, while sort of a mean thing for her to say, I think does make sense - people always say they don't want kids, understandable, but kids are just young humans, you were a kid too. You aren't having kids, you are growing people. Adults.

I think burden is the wrong word. It implies an overall negative effect on life, like saying that playing a sport is a burden because you have to dedicate time and energy to it. Yes, my daughter does take up a huge part of my life and I've had to give up hobbies in order to make time for her.
Responsibility and commitment, yes.
Burden, no.
- Webster has "duty, responsibility" listed as one of the definitions of burden. In that sense I think they are spot on. However, other people's interpretation of the word can obviously vary

In comparison to what? Not having children?
I dunno. Yeah they cost money and take time, but it's what I want to do with my money and my time.
If I didn't have children I'd be burdened with stuff like eating out everyday and travelling the world. Those are also really cumbersome things to do. Cost money and take time.
I guess it is called living. I think it's alright.
- Burden vs Not Burden I guess. Most of us seem like we're pretty sane people with the honesty that children are a burden and you know what, we're alright with that.

than they are lying
? Really? Jesus fuck
- Misspelled memes / titles get more attention and up votes :/
- Did I use it incorrectly? I see it as a comparison of lying vs. not lying.
  
  I get what you're saying, but in an "if... then..." statement, it's always "then" with an e.
  
  Yes, the word "than" is entirely different than the word "then". The most basic of English lessons would make this clear.

I don't want children, but I wish I would know how to handle a child so I can help out family in case needed.
- You might want to take a look at The Montessori Child. It's a book aimed at parents to make early childhood the best it can be for the kids.
  
  I've heard of the name before. Never knew what it was about. Sounds like a good read!
- Just ask the family member that you want to help what you should do. If the kids are young they like to talk your ear off or play. Many a kid used me as a make shift tree to climb on lol

that’s because the word “burden” carries a negative connotation with it, implying that it’s something you’d rather not have to be burdened with.
ideally, you would see your kids as a commitment or responsibility rather than a burden.
- Definitely due to the negative image of the word for some people and I guess a sentence could be crafted to make something like saying kids are a burden to make it sound cheerful and some people would be fooled by it lol

What is your definition of burden?
- To make things much harder/difficult than if it wasn't.
  
  Ok, what things are much harder / difficult for you?

This post is all the bad things about r/unpopularopinion
- Well if it isn't the token complainer of what should be where. Get off my lawn!
  
  Popular opinions only here

It depends on how self centered you are. It's like that song "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" by The Hollies. It applies to children too.
The road is long With many a winding turn That leads us to who knows where? Who knows where? But I'm strong Strong enough to carry him He ain't heavy, he's my brother
So on we go His welfare is my concern No burden is he to bear We'll get there For I know He would not encumber me He ain't heavy, he's my brother If I'm laden at all I'm laden with sadness That everyone's heart Isn't filled with the gladness Of love for one another
It's a long, long road From which there is no return While we're on the way to there Why not share? And the load Doesn't weigh me down at all He ain't heavy, he's my brother
- Perhaps but it is also unhealthy to think that way. Selfless people tend to get taken advantage of and that it in itself is a big burden. It made for good lyrics back in the time of love and peace though.

Give them up. Plenty people will take them off your hands, and next time use contraception.
- I tried, they keep finding their way back.

You are lucky your parents didn’t think like that lol
- Man, if you only knew my parents, hell if I only knew my parents.
- Their parents almost certainly thought that way, mine did too. Why assume it's not the popular opinion that it absolutely is?
- My children get everything they need and then some, they are loved and cherished, and we also have tons of family support. The fuck is the problem with also recognizing that parenting is an extremely difficult task which requires a huge investment in time, money and devotion?

99 comments