Well, I never have this problem... because I stopped playing competitive games. I suck and they actually kinda stress me out unless I play with friends who are chill.
Why are you carrying? You should be working with your team instead of plowing through on your own.
If your strength is offense and you get paired with offense people as well, someone needs to fall back and cover defense. If you’re not doing that once in a while, you’re the liability.
the truth is players don't lose all the time. companies setup the matches to deliver a 50/50 win loss ratio, because if they didn't do this, then some players would be losing all the time, these players would uninstall, and then they lose money because they can't sell boxes or whatever they push these days.
however, humans also experience losses worse than wins. the magnitude of a loss emotion is typically greater than an equivalent win emotion. we evolved like this to make sure you didn't lose your stash of food in the tree somewhere, or perhaps at the back of the cave - if you did, you died, and so those humans who preserved a sense of dread when experiencing loss were more likely to pass on their genetics. this is why playerbases constantly whinge and moan about being on the losing team - you are actually getting 50/50 win/loss, but your brain only pays attention to the losses, it doesn't remember the wins as well, and so your perception is distorted.
only in some rare brains is this emotion spread dampened - these rare humans are able to tank losses easily. it still feels bad for them, but they can take the hit way easier. these individuals are typically also the professionals in competitive ventures of all strokes. since society sees them as "elite", this is now seen as a good thing, even though in rougher times, you can't expect these people to give more than a cursory fuck about the food supply being lost to bears. it's one of the reasons why you see elite athletes constantly developing drug problems, catching rape charges, and going bankrupt. the loss just isn't as emotionally bad for them. they can tank it. it's not psychopathic, it's just... they have less aversion to losses.
anyway, if a game is equal, balanced and fair, then an overwhelming majority of the playerbase is experiencing more loss emotion than win emotion, on average. this undercurrent of loss emotion is the true cause of the "violent" part of "violent video games". it's not the shooting itself, it's the competition between players that festers these loss emotions, that then causes the aggression.
boomer legislators get this part mixed up and confused all the time, and so they speak reductively of the problem when they demand less bloodsplatter and gun imagery. what they don't get, is FIFA, Super Smash Bros, Rocket League etc, can also cause this horrible feeling, because they are competitive games. it's the competition that does it, not the violence. this is the true origin of toxicity in playerbases. no wonder DotA2 players always have 4000+ hours and say "i hate it, but lets go again". "just 1 more round" it sounds like drugs, doesn't it? "just 1 more bump brooo". "cmonnn, just 1 more".
solution: stop playing competitive matchmaking. it's not good for you, it's not healthy. you are feeding your brain a virtual drug. you are chasing the win, just like a gambler. stop feeding your ego, you don't need to be good at a game to feel valid. overwhelming chances are you don't have a "winner-style" competitive brain that will help you cope with loss emotions and truly let you enjoy comp/ranked games, so please stop trying. you're hurting yourself. "top" rank will never be worth your mental health. you have to let it go.❤️
and lastly, my own personal experience dealing with this in 2018. most of this post is anecdotal, it's an opinion piece, and i don't care to back this up further.
It’s not some conspiracy, if you are at a 50/50 win rate, that means you are at the appropriate skill level. If you’re better you would have more wins and you’ll move up the ranking until you start losing more games, where you will fall down the rankings to where your average is.
It’s skill based ranking after all, some people have good days where they are better and some also have bad days. It all averages out, but 50/50 win rate means you are appropriately ranked.
It's very easy to think how striving for 50/50 in all cases is a good and even desirable solution, but that's not how matchmaking is built in modern games because it would make for pretty bad experiences
Honestly I don't even think it's being elite. Ranked or not, the main concept is understanding 2 things, 1. There is no real consequence to loosing and 2. That looses are nothing more than something you can still have fun in, it's not the destination but the journey that matters.
As someone that had losses and events in my life, the game and most things in life and miniscule, ans with this I enjoy everything. It's great. No need to worry cause there is ALWAYS better evenings ans you have had worse, much worse than loosing 25+ in a row. Elite or not, it just means being logical and not judging your self
incredibly insightful post. thanks a lot for sharing. i never thought about this in that much detail, but it really seems to make sense what you are referencing to.
Agreed. I was huge on League for the better half of my 20s and it was all consuming. Haven't been into any multi-player since. (not knocking people who do, to be clear. Just didn't want to go down that rabbit hole again)
I still haven't read that source about dota 2 but personally, I think it's addictive because it feels sooooo good when you win. It brings the worst of you when you lose, but when you win, it feels really good, it's so satisfying to win a hard match, competitive or not (i play a lot of turbo, feels addictive anyway). After all, if we only felt bad when losing and didn't feel as good when wining, we wouldn't come back. Or at least, I wouldn't. If another game frustrates me, and gives me nothing in return, I leave it
This is a great writeup and matches with my experiences as well. That said, I would say that the discourse around the subject is complicated and itself fraught with emotion. Ironically (or perhaps just appropriately), the discourse is framed as competitive: one between "boomers" and "gamers," with the prevailing narrative being that out of touch pearl clutchers are obsessed with attacking forms of entertainment they don't understand instead of dealing with the real problems of society. Part of the narrative, however, is also the categorical rejection from gamers that video games have the ability to affect your mental state or influence your emotions in ANY capacity. Which, as you've noted, they do. It's competition. We see professional athletes get into fights and engage in poor sportsmanship constantly. In baseball, pitchers will throw balls at batters with the intent to hit. Batters will charge the mound. And this is in a game that explicitly forbids violence.
I think part of the issue is this expectation (and you noted this, as well) that people attach their identity to being "good at video games" - it's a signifier of accomplishment for people who haven't really accomplished much. Often times, this is young people or people whose careers are just getting started, or who are still in school and have a tenuous degree of personal agency. The thing that's tilting, the thing that makes them upset, is that they expect this to be a domain in which they have power and control, and loss is a signifier of the fact that this is not true. It reminds them they don't really have any power over their own lives.
Nah, my win rate is objectively under 50%, and I'm already down to a level where it feels like the outcome of the battle is largely separated to what I'm actually doing any more in comparison to what teammates I get. By logic, I should finally get 50% win rate this time, but somehow it's still not, wtf.
And of course I almost uninstall because of that, and at least already play much less than I could. They clearly already lose money from this, people I know mostly have already quit the game.
So the game devs weren't too far off with the "boss kicks your ass" .... "Boss joins team and is as effective as a wet napkin." Looks like it's actually a real thing! Lol
There was this guy in our friends group who was your guarantee of losing if he was on your team. You could pair him up with the best players and still his utter lack of game-comprehension would somehow drag the others down to his level.
This person is usually a complex combination of mean and stupid, blaming everyone else for being trash while they make the worst, most incompetent plays you've ever seen.
Ranked usually uses metals and gemstones to identify the skill level of the player. Bronze, silver, gold, usually diamond, etc.
So basically he "got slapped" meaning totally hot his ass beaten in the game by these high level players, but when they ended up in his team on the next round they played like total noobs.