Only people who've played Moonbase Alpha are gonna get this

suh<500,19>mbah<250,26>diy<200,23>wah<400,23>nstow<200,21>dmiy<200,19>]
\
\ thuh<200,19>wur<500,24>lldih<200,23>sguh<200,23>nah<200,21>rrow<200,21>miy<200,19>]
\
\ ay<200,19>ey<200,26>ntthuh<200,23>sh<100,23>awrrpihs<200,21>tuh<200,21>llih<200,19>nthuh<200,19>sheh<500,16>eh<300,14>d]
\
\ shiy<200,19>wah<200,19>slluh<200,26>kih<200,23>nkay<250,23>dah<200,21>fdah<200,21>m]
\
\ wih<200,19>thhxrr<200,19>fih<400,24>ngrr<275,23>ae<200,23>nhxrr<200,21>thah<200,21>mb]
\
\ ih<200,19>nthuh<200,19>shey<425,26>puh<200,23>fae<200,23>neh<400,21>llah<200,19>nhxrr<200,19>for<400,21>hxeh<400,16>d]
\
\ -
\
\ weh<400,19>llthuh<75>yxiyrr<125>star<125>tkuh<75>mih<75>nae<75>ndey<75>dow<125>ntstao<125>pkuh<75>mih<75>n]
\
\ feh<125,19>dtuw<75>thah<75>ruw<150>llsae<75>nday<75>hxih<75>thah<75>graw<125>ndrah<75,23>nih<75,19>n]
\
\ dih<125,23>dntmey<150,26>kseh<150,24>nsnaa<125>tuw<125,23>llih<150,21>vfor<175>fuh<175>n]
\
\ yx<25,14>orbrey<150,23>ngeh<150,19>tsmahrtrr<75>buh<100,16>tyx<25,14>orhxeh<150,19>dgeh<150>tsduh<150,14>mb]
\
\ sow<75,23>muh<150,26>chtuw<75,23>duw<175,28>sow<75,23>muh<150,26>chtuw<75,23>siy<150,28>]
\
\ sow<75,23>wuh<150,26>tswrao<175,24>nwih<125,23>thtey<75,21>kih<150>nthah<75,19>bae<125,21>kstriy<125,19>ts]
\
\ yx<25,14>uwllneh<75,19>vernow<175>ih<75>fyxuw<75>dow<150>ntgow<150>]
\
\ yx<25,14>uwllneh<75,23>vershay<175,19>nih<75>fyxuw<75,16>dow<150>ntgllow<200>]
\
\ -
\
\ hxey<150,23>naw<300,19><100>yx<100>rae<100,16>nao<150,19>llstar<300><100>]
\
\ geh<50,19>tyx<50,16>rgey<150,19>mao<150>n<300><100>gow<400>plley<450,23>]
\
\ hxey<150,23>naw<300,19><100>yx<100>rey<100,16>raa<150,19>kstar<300><100>]
\
\ geh<50,19>thaa<50,16>show<150,19>ao<150>n<300><100>geh<400>tpey<450,23>d]
\
\ ae<150,19>nao<400,23>tae<400,26>tgllih<150,24>trr<150,23>sih<150,21>sgow<225>ow<450,19>d]
\
\ ow<150,19>nlliy<150>shuw<150,21>tih<150,19>nstaa<150,23>ar<450,21>sbrey<150>kthaa<300,19>mow<250,21>ow<250,23>ow<450,16>lld]

Aeiou

Oh no, here comes another Chinese earthquake. Hrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Snake? Snake! Saaaaaaake

What is aeiou?

Mama mia papa pia daddy has the diarrheaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mario 2 music.

:)! :)! :)! :)!

This would be read aloud as: S M I L E exclamation point! S M I L E exclamation point! ...

(it would spell out the word "smile" instead of saying it)

This was perhaps the densest TTS runtime to character count.

And sometimes y