NASA Scrambling After China Offers to Buy ISS from Trump

(Houston, TX) NASA administrators are posting online, and international partners are asserting their rights, as China made public a 2.7 trillion dollar offer for the International Space Station, made directly to trump in his truthsocial feed on Friday. The offer reads: “With heartfelt blessings of President Putin, China offers $2.7 trillion USD for the remainder of the International Space Station. Payment directly to president trump for distribution as needed. Details to be discussed in private.”

The message, sent shortly after the closing ceremonies of the SCO summit this week, has sent shockwaves throughout the international community.

“First,” said one NASA administration who asked to remain anonymous due to fear of reprisals, “the ISS does not belong to America, much less donald trump. The station was built by multiple nations who each have an ownership stake. But second, this administration has just promised to put a nuclear reactor on the moon in five years. How can you make these advances while selling critical infrastructure?”

But interest has been shown by the White House, with an announcement that, should the sale go through, every taxpaying American would receive a $50 “Science Refund,” to help stimulate the economy. That has some trump supporters excited.

“I ain’t never going to space,” said Leo Sturbgetter, a cow detangler in eastern Kansas. “But $50 will buy me a space heater. That’s my president.”

EU President Ursula von der Layen says the matter is not open for discussion. “We are happy to work with the Chinese if they buy the Russian and American parts of the station. The EU portion is not for sale.” But pundits question whether the EU would have much say, with the difficulty getting to the station without the Russian or Americans.

Cosmonaut Nikolai Chub says he is concerned to return to earth, as his draft paperwork was resent to the station on Friday, with orders to be sent to Ukraine. The timing seems related to the deal.

The station, built by an international consortium over 13 years, is scheduled to be decommissioned in 2030, with no planned replacement. The Chinese space station, Tiandong, was completed in 2022.