Honestly... watch it
Honestly... watch it
54 comments
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Holy shit it’s real
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And it’s glorious. Watch it at least once.
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I also had to look it up in disbelief.
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Lol there's a VelociPastor 2, also
Edit: I wouldn't even call this a B movie. Maybe a C or D, if only those categories existed lolol
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Doesn't look like a velocipastor to me. Looks more like a diocesenychus.
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God, I love this stupid movie.
My partner is a backer for the sequel, so we're patiently awaiting its arrival. Soon...
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I highly recommend the movie "the man who killed Hitler and then the Bigfoot," it's truly a masterpiece
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Is it? Frankly it seemed a bit slow. The parts about killing Hitler and Bigfoot were fun, but it was predominantly about an old man somberly reflecting on his past.
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Yeah it’s more melancholic and the bigfoot stuff is more of a backdrop.
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If you're down for a bigfoot movie, I'd recommend Sasquatch Sunset, it was very odd, but very good.
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i dont know how they got all those fx artists for the budget, but the fx are so top notch i honestly thought it was real footage. 👏 bravo.
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The burning car fx was best by far so realistic
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Fuckin love this movie.
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Don't. I've sat down for 3 viewings of this curséd video and yet somehow seen the movie 6 times. My soul has been scoured by this film and it stole decades from my life force.
Was pretty funny and camp the first time tho
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Surprisingly a good movie and had me laughing like Kung Pow: Enter the Fist! Highly recommend it for a laugh.
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I found this randomly years ago, we freaking loved it and it's low budget chonky magic. I tell everyone they'll never see anything like it
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Fighting the vast hordes of Chinese ninjas like never before...
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Pastor: Prostitute, please, Share your wisdom.
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Just watched this last night! Fucking spectacular through and through! Absolute cinema. It’s on Tubi if anyone is curious, it’s so much fun.
“I think my hands are immune…” attacks with raptor hands!
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I hope it’s a life-sized velociraptor.
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Easily the best movie ever made.
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And ninjas.
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That bit got me so bad! I'm like
"oh... OH, ok... I see... FUCK, NINJAS, I GOTTA WATCH THIS THING!"
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Bad movies aren't fun if they're bad on purpose, though. They need to be bad because they're a failed attempt at a good movie, made by someone who's either talentless, insane, degenerate, or (ideally) all three. That's why it's so much fun to watch The Room or Double Down or After Last Season: those movies are the sincere but crushed dreams of crazy charlatans. Conversely, that's why crap like Sharknado is so boring, it's because there was no attempt to reach something. Asylum movies like that are the film equivalent of the kind of person who keeps repeating the same three Monty Python references.
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In general, I agree that “bad on purpose” movies rarely work the way truly failed passion projects do. Stuff like The Room or Samurai Cop are endlessly fascinating because you’re watching someone’s ambition crash and burn under the weight of their own limitation. It’s failure as unintentional art.
Sharknado and the rest of The Asylum’s output, by contrast, are manufactured junk food. They’re winking at you the whole time, saying “look how silly we are,” which makes the joke wear thin almost instantly.
But Velocipastor doesn't fit into the "Sharknado" camp. The difference is intent. Sharknado had a $2 million budget, a cynical production pipeline, and the backing of a company that churns out disposable content purely because they know it’ll turn a profit on streaming or TV. It’s commerce first, creativity second. Velocipastor, on the other hand, had a shoestring budget of $36k scraped together from personal connections. It’s essentially a backyard passion project made by people who wanted to have fun, and that spirit comes through on screen.
Yeah, it’s deliberately goofy, but it also embraces its limitations in a clever way. Things like the “VFX car explosion” gag or the deliberately clunky dinosaur costume work precisely because the film knows how far it can stretch itself. It’s not pretending to be Hollywood, and it’s not trying to be “so bad it’s good” in a cynical way. It’s more like watching a group of friends get wildly creative with no resources, and instead of feeling hollow like Sharknado, it ends up being genuinely entertaining.
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You'd probably enjoy Iron Sky
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I’d argue there are multiple types of good bad movies and that it can definitely be done on purpose, Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place is my gold standard for bad on purpose, that show is the greatest. I enjoyed Velocipastor immensely and think they nailed being bad on purpose. I get what you’re saying, though, there is a unique magic that only exists when someone is genuinely and earnestly trying to create a magnum opus to rival the greats and creates utter trash candy, like Wiseau and Neil Breen and his Breen screen.
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you go watch Lobster Man from Mars until you enjoy it
one of the aliens is a fuzzy football on a string! and you can still see the string if i remember it's been a while!
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54 comments
Isn't this the movie that has a scene of main characters loved ones getting blown up in a car bomb or something .... but they didn't have the budget to recreate the scene and rather than just not play it ... they used a title card instead ...
I found the scene ....
https://youtu.be/Bg82z3UWLQQ
Now I want to watch the whole thing
Whole movie is also on YouTube https://youtu.be/4kDwOuLQH4I
I like how at the end the camera is just kinda panning around like the viewer is embarrassed by the bad acting on display.
If just says "VFX car on fire" hahahahahahah is that in the actual movie?
Isn't it great?
I’m sold.
It's... beautiful.
It reminds me of when I pirated one of the 16 million X-Men and or Wolverine movies but the effects weren't complete so it was just concept art as placeholders but this is so much better.
Wolverine: origins? I recall getting my hands on an unfinished copy that had no sfx in certain scenes lol
It was at that very moment that I knew I was in love with this film.
"your parents died, it's what parents do!"
“They die on you.”
The main character is clearly a Catholic Priest. Why is his priest collar not white (they are just little inserts)? Is this a new style, or were they trying to be respectful of Catholics and making him not quote a Catholic Priest?