There are no nazis in Valhalla

Viking DNA study finds they were more genetically diverse than modern Scandinavians

Makes sense. They traveled a lot. Nowadays we’re all looking out our peepholes so we can ensure that we don’t run into neighbours.
- This is my favourite scholar on the topic. His lectures are so good. I've seen him speak a few times.
  https://aeon.co/essays/the-viking-age-is-undergoing-a-revisionist-transformation
- Nowadays we’re all looking out our peepholes so we can ensure that we don’t run into neighbours
  Ack. I've been spotted!
No surprise. They where sailors travelling the world.
- So are modern Scandinavians. Also I'm not so sure about gen alpha Norwegians. There are a large number of half Thai kids in rural areas. Norwegian women escape the villages to go live in Bergen/Oslo and the men who stayed home to take care of the family farm go over to Thailand to find someone. It's a stereotype but it definitely happens pretty frequently.
  Also there's a large foreign population generally (the oil industry and service industry attracts a lot of foreigners and Norway takes a fair number of refugees) æand they're (relatively) well integrated (this doesn't apply to Sweden). You actually see some Muslim women in Norwegian national dress with a headscarf that's embroidered with the same pattern, which is cool.
- Still are, source: my anecdotal ass.

Valhalla isn't a reward though, it's a hell for those that don't enjoy battle. Here's what happens in Valhalla:

You equip your armor and weapons
You walk out into the courtyard
You kill eachother
You are resurrected
You go to dinner
You equip your armor and weapons
You walk out into the courtyard
You kill eachother

etc. etc.

It is NOT a reward. Valhalla is not heaven, it is a place that Odin puts his very specific chosen warriors that died a violent death in battle. Whether you go to Valhalla doesn't depend on you being either a good or bad person, only how you died. Odin himself will even actively intervene and make sure you lose your fight and die in battle, just because he wants you as one of his Einherjar.

Valhalla being portrayed as this big reward for good people is a bastardised version brought in by Christians.

Would you like to know more?
☑️ yes
- OP didn’t include this, but the whole point of Valhalla is that it’s a training facility for Ragnarok. Odin is gathering the fiercest warriors to fight at the end of the world.
  Also, it’s possible (likely?) that Norse warriors actually really wanted to go to Valhalla. Their values system was different to ours, and a place where you get to fight (gain honor) and feast with your friends every day probably sounded pretty good to them.
Valhalla is not a punishment though, as only real warriors (read: most likely this will be people who love battle) will be granted access.
Therefore, Valhalla is a reward yes. Just not for "being a good person", but Odin still decided who the real warriors were.
No Nazis would be considered real warriors. They are cowards by nature.
- According to the Prose Edda, Odin decides exactly which people are going to die in battle that day, and then brings them all to Valhalla... Which contradicts other accounts somewhat. Then again a lot of old Norse mythology has been so polluted by Christianity that who knows what was originally Norse and what was changed later?
  In some accounts, you don't even need to die in battle. Odin just thinks "I need that guy on my team" and takes you.
tbh sounds like fun

i like the "no Nazis in Valhalla" phrase because Valhalla is an idea, not a real thing. but let's not pretend vikings were good people just to spite Nazis. you're just doing the same mythologizing.

They were people. There were good ones and bad ones. Some might help with the laundry, some might blow a gasket for being reminded to clean up after dinner, some would be cried over and missed because they went out to sea and never came home. Generalising any culture or group in one direction or the other isn't encouraging informed discussion. Nazis, however, are unequivocally bad, 'mkay?
- Vikings was the name given specifically to the ones who got on ships to go raiding and pillaging. It was not the normal citizens.
  Just like not every German citizen was part of the Nazi party, not every Nord was a Viking.
The difference here is that nazis are a political movement, vikings were an actual whole ass culture.
- Vikings were not a culture, Vikings was the name given to people who got on ships to go raiding and pillaging in foreign lands. It was a choice to be a viking. And hopefully I don't need to explain what raiding and pillaging involves.

Nazis didn't even steal viking runes. They completely made them up after some crackpot says he was shown the runes by nordic ghosts in the early 1900s.

Yes but the neonazis use actual Norse pagan symbolism, which means you can't use Norse themed jewelry without people thinking you're a fascist. 😠
- Just add a pride flag and people will think you're a Loki worshipper
- Without the fascist connection you're still glorifying a culture of raping and pillaging innocent villagers
An Austrian/German named Guido is hilarious to me
- yet another thing to blame Blavatsky for
Ah, someone listened to the latest episodes of Behind The Bastards

As someone who has a lot of Nordic tattoos it sucks that I'm lumped in with these Nazi fucks at a glance.

I'm an atheistic pagan and I fucking hate Nazis or really just bigots in general but I get treated like one by most people.

Yeah. I got into all the nordic stuff 30 years ago when being a nazi wasn't socially acceptable. So sad to all of them being out and coopting our cool aesthetics
A potential solution is to mix in with some very obviously anti-nazi tats. You can either go directly for anti-nazi, or just heavily indicated by virtue of anti-nazi tattoos (e.g. something obviously pro-lgbt would help dissuade assumptions of Nazi affiliation.)

Nooooo you’re ruining my pseudohistorical narrative!!!! REEEEE SOMBODY GET ME MY AMPHETAMINES

Shoutout to this absolute banger
- oh god I'm really laughing out loud, not just air coming out of my nose
- Leaving that italian cartoon villain speechless like that was a fucking feat
Hey don't knock amphetamines! They're quite pleasant.

It's not just the right that engages in blatant revisionist history of Vikings.

Yeah, a lot of people seem to forget what raiding and pillaging involves, especially during that time. I hate when people try to romanticize that crap. It's like if 1000 years from now someone tried to romanticize Nazis or Russian soldiers.
- It’s like if 1000 years from now someone tried to romanticize Nazis or Russian soldiers.
  And they will. It's such a bummer knowing they'll turn into some trope-y aggressive dorks or something.
- Even just regular war was awful before industrialization. Marching armies basically depleted every place they went through of resources, because for a long time there was just no other way to operate. And that means that the people whose food was just taken might starve in the near future.
  And that's if the army was nice, rape and pillaging of money and any valuable goods was also very common, even when the army was still marching within the area it was supposed to protect from invasion.
  War isn't nice nowadays, either, but it's at least possible to arrive at a war theater without destroying every place on the way, too.
Can you give me examples of the left doing it then?
- This meme. Vikings were mad homophobic.

FYI might be worth putting up a NSFW spoiler tag. That said, historically accurate meme woohoo!

Seiðr, feminine one included, was practised by Odin, and vǫlvas, which were almost always women, had enormous respect. Priesthood was primarily a female affair, but I wouldn't be surprised if mingling occurred.

A myth is that "effeminacy" in those cultures is frowned upon; instead, it is a lack of courage, to be yourself, that the earlier Germanic cultures derided heavily.

And so, Thor dressing as a gal, and Loki transforming into one, is actually super brave. The sages describe it more humorously, even, rather than insultingly.

Loke also transformed into a mare, had sex with a stallion and gave birth to Sleipner. (I use my native Norwegian names on the stuff from Norse mythology)
From wiki: "However, Loki had "such dealings" with Svaðilfari that "somewhat later" Loki gave birth to a grey foal with eight legs; the horse Sleipnir, "the best horse among gods and men."

This meme format really is just playing dolly

Isn't Iran derived from aryan? Why aren't these nazi want-to bes wearing kolah namadi?

Aryan meant Indo-European until the mustache man co-opted the term to mean blonde hair and blue eyes.

Shit, I thought we were the best at cultural reappropriation. How did this get through? (And they like butt stuff.)