Missing the point

Yup. American Evangelism summed up in one picture.

It's practically a motto: "Optics, not substance."

Anyone giving these donkeys money deserves to be parted with it, unfortunately.

Yeah what a pussy, this Showboat wants to look like he is respecting Jesus's burden, that has little wheels on his crucifix? What a pussy. Fuck this guy.

You can only miss the point if you ever aimed at it.

I don't care who this asshole is, but whoever it is, one phrase comes to mind,
Fake christian, fake as A.I.

Holy shit this is the most accurate metaphorical depiction of modern Christians I've ever seen.

Fun fact there's a guy in my area who drags around a cross made of recycled oak pieces (bits of old furniture cut and glued together) every Easter. Apparently he made it out of raw spite about performative and hypocritical Christians, he is mildly insane and was not even vaguely phased by my crazed neo pagan schtick so take of that as you will.
- I am a little curious about your crazed Neo Pagan schtick.
  I was thinking about a full paegan one...
But it's so heavy though.
- It's probably made out of balsa wood
Some go further and abuse it (riding on a notorized cross)
- If the cross is notarized, does that mean you have to sign for it?

If they're too lazy to even perform during their performative gestures, what's the fucking point?!

They should just send a guy out there wearing a life size replica of Charlie Kirks head like a theme park mascot yelling "OBEY" followed by whatever they want their cult to do/feel/etc.

American style Christianity described in one image.

False. The cross is not self propelled with a $20 a month subscription.
- With a black guy already nailed to it.
- Needs a sponsorship. I like the sound of the Fanduel Cross to Bear.
- pfft why would i pay for a cross that doesn't even have AI?
- Where is my aftermarket lifted cross to own the libs on top of a few slaves?

It’s a perfect metaphor for the performative Christianity they love: all show, no effort

He's wearing a suit for fuck sakes.
You're telling me they didn't even nail him to it after?
- We’re nailing him to it figuratively at least
A cross without wheels is poor people shit.
Well the entire thing was an insult to whoever wrote Matthew 6:5. Which is a proud Christian tradition, but Americans take it a whole new level.
- Yes I wonder who wrote Matthew 6:5, if only there was some sort of a hint.
Probably made of the lightest material possible. That dude is hardly struggling.

why didn't Jesus think of that? Was he stupid?

Jesus would have survived crucifixion if he'd tried harder
- On the other hand, I think he nailed it.
- The thought must've crossed his mind, just to fuck with the mortals.
- What are you talking about, he did survive it, though he slept for 3 days before going to say bye to his friends then goy the fuck out of there before the sick fucks tried again. He then went to Scandinavia where he taught the people to mostly be cool, but, worried about another backlash, told them that maybe one day they can raid and pillage every now and then as a treat.
- As God, Jesus wouldn't have died unless he wanted to. Jesus committed suicide by Roman(s).
They didn't have the wheel in the bronze age 🙃

Welp, that gif is retired now.
Arrived from the heavens, died for our sins, but in the third season he was resurrected.

Turns out following the teachings of Jesus Christ and being a good person are too difficult for most Christians.

Look at me! Look at me! I’m doing the thing! Look at me!

Vanity will get you sent to hell bro. Hope you know.

Hell isn't real.
But guillotines are.

Jesus after seeing this pic:

And that even though people kept telling him: Jesus, take the wheel!
Nowhere in the bible is explicitly written, that Jesus didn't think of that. Might have had wheels for all we know. Maybe he just skipped gym and was weak af. Or had the wrong wheels for the terrain ¯(ツ)_/¯
- Wrong
  Matthew 4:20:69
  "And lo, Jesus tried to explain that the cross would be much easier to carry if it has wheels yet the Roman said 'lol, lmao'"
- Skipped the gym? Not the Christ depicted in so many churches where he looks like an Olympic gymnast, 6 pack and all.
- Maybe he just thought, "Christ, I could really do with some wheels" the whole time

Holy shit this is so hilarious and so fucking awful. Jesus would be so pissed.

Now I'm imagining Peter Thiel pitching Jesus an easy button as an alternative to sacrificing himself for the sins of humanity.

It's also way undersized. Look at how wide it isn't. They'd be nailing his elbows instead of his hands. It ought to be much taller and thicker too.

the og cross was supposedly 9' x 6' and 300lbs according to my quick Google
ps I nearly did a Stonehenge and called it 9"x6"
- IIRC, they did not carry the entire cross, the vertical member was permanently installed. They carried the horizontal portion and were basically hoisted by that into place
- Nah fuck it Jesus was a giant confirmed.

It's rather poignant I think.

After all the guy they are honouring only ever paid lip service to the religion. So they should to.

Hey when you're making up the story you can control the entire narrative

If Jesus was so smart, why didn’t he think of this? Would have saved him a ton of work.

Clearly not a great carpenter.
Simon wouldn't have to help him carry his own cross, what a loser. The poor guy was just standing there.
Most versions of the Bible don't include this part
Work smart not hard. Probably didnt even need to die for 'everyones' sins. Considering most people aren't Christian. The ROI just isnt there.
If Jesus had put that gold, frankincense, and myrth into a Roth IRA and just sat on it. Well, the church wouldn't need an offering plate, Ill tell you that much.
He was just too fucking swole to bother
They hadn't invented the wheel yet. I have a degree in history, so you can trust me.

The convict had to carry a horizontal beam (patibulum), 1.5-1.8 m long, to the place of execution, from the place of flagellation. His hands were tied to the crossbeam with straps. According to Roman source literature, a person condemned to crucifixion, he never carried the entire cross, contrary to customary faith and contrary to many modern recreations of Jesus’ path to Golgotha.

I googled this text to find the source. It goes on to say that the crossbeam alone weighed 45kg (about 100 lbs), so he could at least carry that much of it...
it makes sense as they'd be prepping the uprights while the executed were in transit - digging immense post holes and filling them with posts and packing the remainder so it stays upright.
- It makes it possible to utilize those uprights later for other executions as well. It makes sense now that I'm thinking about it.
  Have a hill with the uprights in place. Strap the condemned to their own little crossbars and hoist/mount them to the upright when they arrive.

Let me symbolize the suffering that ~~I know others can’t escape~~ that is expected of others while making it easy as possible on the rich guy virtue signaling for their own aggrandizement.

E: words.

Back on the Saturday before Easter I was driving down a highway when I saw police blocking the right lane. There was a church group walking along the road dragging a cross. I laughed my ass off when I noticed it had wheels. I only got a screen cap from a dashcam video.

Where I grew up there were three churches on the island.
An episcopal church at one end, a Methodist church in the middle and a catholic at the other end.
The episcopal priest would lug the cross to the Methodist church, the Methodist priest would take it over and lug it to the Catholic Church, then the Catholic priest would lug it up into the church and the theee priests would do a communal church service ahead of Easter.
No wheels.
Community.
Everyone welcome.
This was the church community I grew up in, I’m an atheist now because of what the rest of the churches in the world showed me.

Wait until he gets his 30 lashes with the pink feather boa. That's when the crowd goes wild.

Pretty sure I heard a parable/fable/story about some ~~asshole~~ impious person doing something like this back during catholic catechism

🎶I'm here to remind you of the wheels you use on that cross you bear, It's not fair!🎶

21st century Christianity.

Practicing what he preached.

11th commandment was work smarter, not harder

No crown of thorns either. Amateur.

Thorns bite into my skin. And don't get me started on sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating... and it gets everywhere!
- Even the woman and the children!

If only we could have people performatively wheel around more practical execution devices, like the evergreen guillotine.

Holy shit that's a great band name. Do not steal.

Let me know when you drop your first album!

do you want to hear THAT sound??

In the book, the sound gets to him, it's core to the scene.
They cut that for the movie and you know for a fact these idiots don't read, so there you have it.
Typically when churches reenact the resurrection in on Easter they give the part of Jesus to somebody they know is strong enough to carry the cross. Not just some schmo who looks like he's never even lifted anything, including a finger to help others.

One of the local churches near me would give everyone a pvc pipe cross lol

At Easter they give everyone a palm cross, then if you still have it by Christmas, you're supposed to burn it, but no one ever does still have it by Christmas, so they give you a new one. Then they burn that one.
This is supposed to signify something, but I don't think anyone knows what.
- I think you're confusing it with Ash Wednesday, the first day of lent?
I've been to many many different churches over the years, and the great majority of them seem to have lost the plot.
You know they have a big assembly night, and they have to recruit helpers:
"And before we do the benediction, I just want to say that on Wednesday evening, we will be assembling the crosses for next Sunday's service, and we can use all the help we can get. I'm not making this request, God is, I'm just passing along the message.
Oh, and God says that he's not made of money, so if you want snacks and beverages, bring your own."

You can’t cross a bear with wheels.

Man babies need their training wheels.

Should he not be nailed to it?

I don't get it? What am I missing?

"bearing a cross" is a phrase meant to refer to persisting through hardship by comparing your struggles to Jesus being made to carry the cross for his crucifixion. (Jesus had to carry his own cross to be crucified from the place of the trial to the place of execution.) However, this person installed wheels onto the cross to make it easier to carry. This defeating the purpose of the metaphor. Jesus certainly did not have wheels on his cross.
I think dragging the cross is a metaphor because it's heavy but this fellas got the wheels

The new Jesus trike!

A three wheeled cross!

Jeebus: I have to do WHAT for these idiots? Can't we tone it down a bit? Like maybe if I got billed twice for my Disney subscription one month or something? I'm not on board with this whole DYING thing...

Just wheeling in the execution frame.

he's being considerate of the carpet, i'll give him that

The guy is trying to invent a Christian skateboard, but he's got it all wrong.

Props are usually put on stage by roadies and not many of them wear jackets.
If that were true, the stands wouldn't be full of people
- They're just crisis actors.
What else are you pretty sure about?