Do a $2,000 job for me for free. Oh yeah, and you must be insured and experienced!

People just are unwilling to take free stuff. Im always trying to give away free semen and I do most of the work to boot.

98

The boot may be your problem.

31
- In the US it's called a "trunk".
  
  19
- Yeah, most people use a sock
  
  12
- Nah, lots of people here in the US enjoy licking them.
  
  5
You are spilling your semen into a boot and nobody wants it?

1

I DEFINITELY know tree guys that would do this. Especially if it's oak, walnut, or some other decent wood.

Hell, even my neighbor (who is a retired tree guy) will regularly take down trees for me that he then uses for firewood. I just have to do clean up.

68

Pssh, amateur.

I know four guys

23
- Pffft, imagine only knowing four guys.
  
  17
- I mean technically, if they aren't getting paid I think that makes them (and me) amateurs.
  
  3

Depending on the type of wood, the Amish will literally do this.

63

They don’t tend to respond to many social media ads, though.

58
- You might actually be surprised by that
  
  25
Or the Japanese.

The guy who lived across the street from me when I was a kid lived on a decommissioned farm and was a bit of an arborist, among other things. Apparently he had some kind of ornamental tree that was valuable. One night the fucking Yakuza busted through his back gate, cut down his tree, and stole it.

At least that's how he tells it. Some shady Asian looking dudes had approached him about the tree earlier and he'd told them to get lost. They may not have actually been the Yakuza, but the story sounds much better if they were.

23
I live near Amish country, and they won't come out for one smallish tree. They will give a discount for quality wood, but they won't do it completely free. Lumber isn't that expensive around here.

16
Are they insured?

10
- It depends on the community.
  
  18
Would they take care of morning wood?

4

what the fuck leave that beautiful tree alone!!

44

Don't feel sorry for it, that tree committed multible instances of driving under the influence

30
- tt also committed Treeson!
  
  24
- It got so many DUIs that they upgraded him to a Felony.
  
  He still goes hunting twice a year despite it not being allowed to own a gun.
  
  2
It can be a hazard next to houses. I've seen many health looking trees fall on them after storms/ice storms.

20
- Both trees near my house have fallen during a crazy storm. Our pine-tree missed our car by like 2cm. It was incredible. Ripped out, roots and all.
  
  Our other tree split during the same storm and damaged our roof.
  
  No more trees within falling distance of my house, ever again.
  
  5
- I'm pro-tree but after a Fall of constant leaf-raking, I can understand why so many people have bare yards.
  
  4

I am confused on why this cant work.

Surely cutting down trees for wood can be profitable, otherwise capitalism wouldn’t be doing it.

Is it so hard for a professional firm to also source their wood from urban areas to save a tree elsewhere?

34

Cutting down a tree in a forest is exponentially easier and less riskful than in the middle of a densely built up area.

23
- Makes a lot less noise too.
  
  2
There's no economy of scale in suburbia

15
Most companies in my neck of the woods (greater Seattle area) charge for cutting down the tree(s) AND keep the wood, unless you pay them more to keep it yourself or the wood is fairly worthless.

6
- Also Greater Seattle Area. Friend had someone come out and verify a tree up the hill from his house was at high risk of falling onto the house. Some kind of maple.
  
  Got immediate approval to take it down from the city without all the usual permitting process.
  
  Quotes he got all included **paying extra **to haul the tree to the dump. He opted to keep it on his land so they left a bunch of rounds in piles around his house / driveway, and it took four of us a weekend to use a wood splitter and axes to chop into firewood (and even then we didn't finish it all).
  
  I guess they just dump it because land is too expensive in the area to store it stacked to dry to be usable firewood. Not to mention the labor costs.
  
  5

I am not sure how this is “for free”. He is paying in wood. If nobody bites, I guess he will have to switch to money. Good chance somebody takes him up on the offer though making it win / win.

What is the problem here?

24

Because kids sitting behind a computer don't know how to value wood or other resources, so they think because it's not "monies" it must be BS.

I know two guys that would take this down, cut it up, and have it stacked at their sheds for seasoning and eventual sale in half day. That's a mature tree, so it's not a bad deal at all. And I don't see anything about stump removal, so they would get to skip the hard part.

And if the owner then wanted stump removal, they would definitely be given an estimate for that.

18
- Depends on the type of tree of course. But if you had, say, a mature walnut tree, you're gonna have people offer to pay you for the tree and the wood.
  
  6
- This is not worth doing for firewood lol
  
  3

LOL no. I'm getting paid to cut the tree down and haul it off. THEN I'm getting paid for splitting it into firewood.

23

It's legitimate though. There's good money in wood

20

Not at all. The money is in the work and time it takes to produce a quality wood product.

I build custom furniture and have had many people offer me a downed tree. It has cut to rough length, slabbed, prepared for drying, properly dried and stored for at least 1 year per inch of thickness before you start working with it. I can cut into a board and know when someone has rushed it, and it can be downright dangerous. Improperly dried wood has a lot of internal stress that makes it pop violently when cut. Then it curves and warps and you might not even be left with much good material at all by the time you joint and plane it to be straight and flat.

6
- I met with a local forester hired by the district I live in (a city in Denmark ) on friday to discuss some options for a local forest area that had been unattented for many years.
  
  He suggested we thin it out and although maybe 50 to 100 trees needed removing we would not have to pay for it but would make money on it.
  
  He said that the craziest thing he had experienced was that they had been able to sell poplar tree to India!!! Because of COVID, a lot of empty containers were in Europe. Instead og shipping them back empty, they're filled it with poplar tree to make matches.
  
  The point is that we wouldn't have to pay to have a week's work of tree cutting but would be making money (mostly beech wood). I am sure that the value is increased manyfold during processing and woodworking but raw wood is worth good money too, and there's a lot of wood in large trees
  
  9

$2000 seems like alot of money to cut a tree, i got multiple trees cut down for £600

15

It depends on how close it is to the house. I'm in a low cost of living area in the US and my neighbor has a tree that's going to be over $3k to bring down. If it can't be felled they have to bring in a crane and take it apart one piece at a time. Lots of equipment costs and very skilled and dangerous work

9
- We have huge oaks that sit between the house and the road. And a neighbor's fence on a third side. If we ever wanted those taken down it would be a costly nightmare as they'd basically have to crane it out in pieces. And an oak has a lot of pieces.
  
  1
Different country, different costs I'd imagine.

5
There are a ton of variables involved in pricing. Every case is different.

3
Are you insured or free time gigs?

1
It's like 15-20 dollars in my country

0
- For an insured, qualified, responsible professional? Seems unlikely.
  
  2

I used to work on a tree crew, 99% sure this was posted by someone ironically. Surprising amount of memes related specifically to arborist related stuff.

13

I think it's not so bad. That's quite a lot of wood.

11

Generally, wood within human spaces isn’t usable in construction. The issue is nails and such that the tree grows around and incorporates. The human-made objects lodged within tend to chip the very expensive saws and such used to commercially process large trees. Artisans often don’t mind it and work around the issues if they want a particular piece of wood, but you’d need to advertise harder than a single Craigslist post to find one to take your entire tree.

7

If they lived like a block away from a Lumbermill willing to buy Aspen then I would consider it.

10

2000 dollars wtf It's like 15-20 dollars in my country

8

Does your country have something like OSHA and would the tree guy piss off into the sunset instead of paying up if something goes wrong? See, that's the difference.

-5
- Lol you think your shady ass tree guy you hired for free won't disappear when the splits your neighbor's living room into two?
  
  10
- Nah if the guy dies they just find another juan.
  
  0

Why so sarcastic?

You get $2005 worth of wood to sell!

7

Why do people have to fuck around with trees? Screw your deck, bro.

7

Entire forests are being razed and no one bats an eye. People want to free up space on their property and likely plant another tree elsewhere and everyone loses their minds.

16

Haha I think I would like to meet this poster. He is clearly a "well you have to try" type.

4

The answer was no before you ask, so asking can't hurt. There's a certain logic to it, though only at a surface level.

2

That's closer to a $4000 job.

4

I had a tree like this, maybe a little thinner but close. An ash tree that started dying due to ash borers. I had it cut down (stump left) for only $800. Granted, I found a tree cutting service that didn't use super fancy machinery. But they still did a good job and got it done in like 30 minutes.

8
- Being closer to the house and garage might affect it. We had five ash trees killed by borers. There was a place near me that briefly had been taking the wood, and would come take the ash trees down if they were above a certain size. But after a few months, they had more wood than they could use in a lifetime. Those beetles killed a lot of trees.
  
  It's also worth noting that the arborist offered to haul away the lumber for a fee, or they would cut it up and leave it for firewood. We put a sign up, and it was gone by the end of the day. We even had one guy bring a splitter and left us a small stack for our firepit.
  
  13
I just had a large 60-70' tree taken out.
They used 2 cranes.
$2100

No stump grinding

1
- I don't know how you're going to make an accurate estimate based on this single pic. One of my best friends is an arborist and it can get very complicated in ways that aren't obvious to non-experts.
  
  0