A picture of a rifleman for help
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31Wtf that's illegal
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Communities like this always skeeve me out. I know that I'm just being cynical, but random internet strangers aren't really a great place to go to get information and help if you are in one of these circumstances. At best you'll end up in an echo chamber of people who will just keep you on the same downward spiral, and at worst you'll run into someone who will try to take advantage of your vulnerability. Sure, there may be some out there that are qualified to help, but their voice will be drowned out by the throngs of, "Yeah! Fuck your parents! Hop a train!" and "Hey, I've got a warm van you can sleep in if you need some place."
45Same with real people out there. I grew up in conflict with my parents before the internet and had the exact same issues you describe, just offline. it comes down to taking any and every advice with a grain of salt, no matter. Online and offline self help groups can be great, and life saving.
67I wish more people like you were on lemmy. I see too many good takes being down and bad takes being upvoted by bigotted, cynical or plain ignorant people.
Being taken advantage of is a big problem that needs to be adressed. „Dont get help online.“ is the stupidest take I‘ve seen in years.
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For some of us, rather than an echo chamber, it's just validation of our experiences and learning the language to describe abuse. You can't get help unless you know what you're getting help for. And when you learn to recognize gaslighting and manipulation, you can begin to counter it.
41Yeah, people don't realize that people with abusive parents have been raised to believe that abuse is normal - even good for them. The first major hurdle is getting someone to realize that there's even a problem to fix, or that the problem to fix isn't themselves.
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What would you suggest people who are going there looking for help do instead? Pay for therapy they can't afford or just suffer in silence? You make it sound like people are literally weighing therapy and professional help against online communities as though they are both equally accessible options.
So in other words, you have the choice and assume most others do too?
37Honestly, most of the people in places like that are people who already found their way out, and now just want to shoot the shit with other people who understand what they've been through. If I hadn't had my sister to talk to about our insane mom, it would have been a lot harder for both of us to move on from her and become healthy, well-rounded adults - I imagine internet communities like these are a good alternate resource for when people don't have real-life support from someone who understands what it's like. But yeah, when you've got a parent who thinks all of science is one big scam, you're never going to be able to see a legitimate therapist.
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They can be helpful if you view them light heartedly as anonymous support groups where you can vent real quick. Not as actual qualified resources.
17What are you talking about? They're the best people to ask for advice. Who are you going to trust more? Some random "professional" who has read about your issue in a book once and been to a couple lectures or an army of people who lived through hell and are dedicated to helping others and making sure they don't go through the same? As for people who would take advantage, well yeah. They exist in every group but they're actually less likely to exist in these communities because they're the type of people we've been burned by. We know how to spot them and chase them off. I also have absolutely no clue what you mean by downward spiral. The communities in the screenshot all explicitly for people who got out of horrific situations. How is that a downward spiral, exactly?
Yeah, you are being cynical. Extremely so.
16Yeah, why would you trust a professional with legal responsibilities and a duty of care when you can go to an anonymous forum where I'm sure everyone tells the truth all the time and always has your best interests at heart!
Obviously I'm being facetious and I get your point that taking to your peers is very important, but careful not to slip into the rampant anti-intellectualism and distrust of "so-called experts" which fuels all the insane conspiracy shit we see all over the internet nowadays.
16This is double edged sword. These places helped me in my journey but they need to be strongly moderated. There are a lot of creeps that want to exploit people. There are a lot of narcissistic echo chembers. But they also have battle tested techniques and "Know How" that is unprecedented.
Without strong anti-toxic culture and ruthless moderation these places could be a pitfall for someone.
13/s ... right..?
6Someone understands how online forums work. I‘m impressed. You‘re a rare breed these days. Great text btw.
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24Hey good to see !raisedbynarcissists is growing as it was previously dead.
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