Im just not sure...
Im just not sure...
I feel very lost and confused, all i do is dream but i just cant bring myself to do things or i "rage out". Im a highschooler and i feel like nobody understand my like im a shadow i know there are other like me but i seem to never be able to find them. i have meds and i recently started consuling but i just feel like i need to do more or somethign is misisng. i tend to be hard on myself and idk why but i want to make a game still even though i cant code for the life of me and i dont even have any ideas. its like some form of extreme writters block.
im pretty limited in life and i was always treated like an outcast and i have autism, dylexia, possibly adhd and i want to scream and cry but it like i have no mouth,words, or tears. i want my life to be better and i have many dreams but im just not sure where to start or even what to do, and this all might change soon-ish like my dreams. i hate being depressed i just want to be happy but i keep having moods and hormones and random hornyness i hate it, i cant stop thinking about my past mistakes aswell.
also please do not dm me keep everything in the comments and dont suggest i call so and so.
I'll preface this by mentioning I'm not a psychologist. I'm somebody who grew up with ADHD and possibly autism and never really understood it. This is just what helps me now.
What I wish I learned as a kid is to set much smaller goals. Same goes for programming. Instead of programming a whole game, maybe try slightly modifying a mod, like replacing an icon or adding an option.
The other thing is to recognize the things you've accomplished, which includes small steps like "watched a tutorial", "learned the difference between some game engines", "installed an engine and got a block to show up on the screen", etc. It may not immediately look like it, but those steps have a lot of value.
Beating yourself up over the things you haven't done is more likely to set you back, in my own experience.
6It's early days but there is now a AuDHD community.
3I tend to get really overwhelmed with tasks and I end up feeling frustrated, useless, and lost. If I'm able to get something done, sometimes it helps me feel better about myself and less freaked out. My partner sent me a tool that helps you break down tasks into smaller more manageable ones . You can adjust the "spiciness" for how much breaking down you need. It might help with the task-based part of what you're struggling with.
As for the other stuff, I highly recommend trying to find a professional counselor. Your doctor who gives you the meds can likely help with a referral. Counselors are usually really helpful for stuff like this.
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