'We are splattered here today'

"A child dented my bumper this morning."

Reminds me of those insurance claim attemps "a stationary car reversed into me".
Can't imagine that goes down well
- A car tried to reverse onto me the other day, at a red light they went forward then popped it into reverse and backed up really quick but luckily stopped before it hit me
- i mean my dad was rear ended causing him to rear end the person in front. Insurance didn't believe him before the dashcam footage.

There are scientists who actually study bug strikes on vehicles. They use it to measure insect decline, and if you're wondering, it's massive. I think one article I read had it as high as 40% over the last 20 years in some areas.
remember how white vehicles were always covered with dead bugs? and how people used to put nets on their front bumper?
- Ah yes, the infamous car bra.
Insects are dying. Especially close to cities. Cars are to blame, but probably even more the human impact on nature, destroying the natural living space.
- No, it’s climate change and pesticide. (Also cars but not the biggest factor).
Not just back roads, it used to be almost everywhere. Even riding your bike you often had bugs smash into your face. It's really eerie now that it's not a thing anymore.
- 15 years ago i couldn't go for a run without getting a bunch of cluster flies in my teeth and eyes. now, i hardly see them anymore. and not just because i don't run as often.
It's the same with birds.
Growing up I used to get woken up by the sounds of thousands of birds tweeting and chirping.
Now I'm lucky to hear a bird that isn't a crow
It's all my fault. I accidentally hit an entire swarm of bees with my car in the 90s and it's all gone downhill from there. Hell of a thing to clean off.
Improved car aerodynamics I guess
- Moreso the bug apocalypse.
- And less bugs around
- You say that like you think everyone has newer cars. It's absolutely not about that. It's our destruction of the climate, which has killed off the majority of insects.
- That was my first thought as well, it seems to be borh

This basically describes the first scene in The Boys

The consequences of unprotected handholding
She got what she deserved, pedestrians shouldn't be on the street where the cars and speedsters are /s

Same philosophy:

Same person
- Didn't notice. So they guy has one joke he repeats in different versions?
What about shark infested houses?

What's the last thing to go through a fly's mind as it hits the windshield?

It's ass.

Well, the bug was moving 67,000 mph relative to the sun.

"The tree got closer and closer and hit my car."

What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits a windshield? Its asshole.

While we're on this very topic, isnt it technically his mind that goes through his asshole?
- I think that depends on your definitions of "mind", "hole", and "going"

The bug was probably thinking - do I smell shit? Man I could go for some shit right now. ----- why?!

What's the last thing that goes through the head of a bug hitting a windshield at 70 mph?

...

Its butt.

Great title, that was perfect

Wait, let me tune into the bug channel.... Crackling "we are gathered here today to commemorate Gary who threw himself fearless into the onslaught the bipedals have wrought upon us with their spiders of steel and glass. Even though he failed on his quest to stop the slaughter of millions by the metal madness unleashed.by.the bipedal demons, his sacrifice will shine as a beacon of hope that one day we might be able to spread our wings again"

No, they do tell the very same thing.

same fot cyclists here when they are run over. "cyclist touched car and dies" instead of "wanker in a car murdered a cyclist".

Makes me think... How many vegans refuse to drive?

I'm ngl. The amount of carcasses I see along the road everyday heading to work has made me want to stop driving for years now.
I'm not even vegan but seeing all those rotting animals decorating ditches day in and day out fills me with rage.
And knowing some stupid fucks go out of their way to hit animals makes my blood boil.