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Programmer Humor @programming.dev

1y ago

onlick

43 comments

Is this an event for the next version of the Apple Vision Pro?
- Apple Taste Pro is a white sausage-shaped devices that you shove down your throught and controls your taste buds, olfactory system and controls breathing.
  
  And it will have whopping 5 apps at launch and 5 more during its lifetime (maybe). You also most likely need a mortgage to buy one.
  
  iBreath™ control now available for the low price of $19.99 a month!
  
  It will project a super low-rez image of your tongue for others to see

I remember reading an article about how we're already able to simulate basic tastes, like sweetness and sourness, digitally. So just you wait, we might have lickable HTML elements in the future
- I can imagine the malware now
  
  If you want the taste of poop out of your mouth, send bitcoin to this address.
  
  Imagine a poop flavored button
- Scratch-n-sniff CSS
- The Snozzberries taste like Snozzberries!
- Link?
  
  I don't remember the exact article I was reading but doing a quick google search yields this one for example. And here's the actual research paper: https://www.miyashita.com/researches/1hFnR7TlUO4OXNpQFeuN30

Button that works on lick, there's a sex joke there but I'm too tired to think of it
- You mean to say, you're having trouble finding it?
  
  I might but having had a go at it...yeah I'm starting to think that all that joking about how hard finding "the button" is some grand conspiracy of weaponized incompetence, I've had a couple partners now to confirm that finding "the button" is damn easy for someone who actually gives a shit about being a reciprocal partner.
  You know you're doing it right when her thighs are wrapped around your head like she's trying to use your melon for a Gallagher bit. Hands clutched in your hair is even better, and if she's giving you a tempo you've got her so deep in the mood that all that's left is to follow the rhythm her body's setting for you.
  It's so easy that her body will literally be telling you how to do it even better by the end if you put in the starting effort.

I tried to tell the computer to bugger a dataset the other day because apparently I can't type Table.Buffer()
- Environemnt is a very common word for me to type. Good thing everybody always shortens it to env.
  
  Used to do the same thing, but I eventually learned to memorize it as "environ-ment"
  
  The amount of times I used to quickly type dnf udpate was ridiculous. Now, I know I can just dnf up.
  
  I always iterate in paris.
- Table.Buffet

Spatial computing has gone too far
- Apple vision pro 2 be like

My company doesn't appreciate my taste in programming flavors. I hoped to whet their appetite with a lunch and learn but when I tried to demo the functionality on my bosses computer I ended up being escorted from the building.

43 comments