More like: Johnny says he’ll be here at three. Johnny shows up at 3:25. Kid is pissed he wasn’t there at 3.
Or: Hey, we might go out for pizza next Friday. Kid hears Friday=Pizza, and gets pissed because some other thing got in the way of pizza and didn’t hear the “might” part.
Nobody lied with the intent to deceive or mislead. Just life happens.
Ugh. Yeah, that sounds familiar. Never seen people send themselves down that cycle so hard. Get punished, unable to let go of the anger, get told to stop or more punishment, I don’t fucking care punish me, gets more punishment.
Sucks if you don’t understand it. People just need to be told to fuck off and cool down, then you can deal with it. In the heat of the problem ADHD makes it so much worse.
Relatable. My partner termed it best when he made the observation that I treat my environment like a matte painting in a cartoon. If I place something down and don't make some kind of mental note it's gone. Dissolved into the matte painting and requires playing a hidden object game to solve. Whereas if I made some kind of note even "that's interesting" I will remember for weeks where something was.
Enfuriatingly "have you seen my..." sometimes gets answered with "have you checked the matte painting?" bloody lucky they're cute enough to get away with it.
Because it’s a spectrum everyone is on. Clinical diagnosis asks “how many,” “how often,” and “is it causing problems” to locate a patient on the spectrum. So yes, ADHD patients’ experiences are indeed mostly common; it’s the rate of recurrence and their control of it that is not.
Edit: Also it’s notoriously underdiagnosed, so when I see comments saying “but that’s what it’s like for everyone” or “almost all of these memes apply to me,” honestly I’m compelled to ask how many apply, how often, and is it causing problems.
Oooh. How'd you make it so far without a diagnosis if it's severe?
I got diagnosed at 40 because my son was diagnosed and I saw a lot of similar behaviours so figured why not.
I wouldn't classify myself as severe and hell I make good money with a good career so clearly I manage it.
That said, I look at peers who got diagnosed young and regret I didn't get the same. I struggle with RSD and specifically emotional regulation. Successful in everything but relationships which is arguably the most important thing in life. Where diagnosed peers got assistance and understanding I had a childhood filled of "do better" and "if only he applied himself" or "shut up".
It's disheartening.
That said, I'm happy for my son and hopefully he will have more success.
Looking back it's pretty clear. I'm not sure how I made it with a relatively successful career and married with 2 kids. My wife made me go get evaluated because it was driving her crazy. My son also has it along with severe autism.
I got diagnosed young and didn't get a lot of the support you're talking about. It was more like they threw ritalin at me and expected me to be normal now. Also, Ritalin was terrible.
I think it has less to do with the early diagnosis and more with the public perception when the diagnosis was made. There's more understanding now than before.
Over the years this has honestly become one of my favorite parts of my brain. I might forget trivial stuff like teethbrushing, but I have these funny bits of people I've lost that I can pretty much revisit in 4k. Probably mostly doing that when I should be doing something else, lol, but I wouldn't trade it away
What's weird as someone who was diagnosed at 40 in comparison to my son at 8 a lot of this behaviour I see in him and not necessarily with me. I don't know if this is because of the separate angle that people with ADD are consistently oblivious to what's happening around them lol.
Like little dude will not sleep on some passing "commitment" I made to simply shut him up 3 months ago. 🤣
Thanks mom. I didn't get treatment until I was 35 and prior to that I was living in my car fighting for survival. 7 years later I own a 3600 sq/ft house, new truck outright, and $100k in my 401k. Go fuck yourself and that mindset.