Getting back into dating after ending a serious relationship and recovering

LOL 25. fuck off.

80

Fuck off yourself, Xer.

I'm 28 and feel like I'll be dead by 30 from sheer stress.

1
- I'm a millennial.
  
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Once you hit 45+ all remaining "give a fucks" disappear and dating becomes much easier. This is a gender agnostic statement.

55

I have an appropriate picture:

44
- I'm taking that for future IDGAF situations. Thanks!
  
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True. As you age, you realize more that you need to find a compatible, complimentary partner, rather than one you destroy yourself to please/ complete.

13
I am 44, I can't wait.

12
- You can start with this one easy step, don't give a duck!
  
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Inspired. I’m in the 45+ arena and just divorced after a number of decades together. I was worried about it until I realized that I (male) did all the cooking, cleaning and paid most bills. I paid for vacations, kids school events, groceries…. Even parenting was lopsided.

So my first date was just this tidal wave of insights into the shit I put up with. The gal just offered to have me come over and cook for me this weekend. I know she’s not the one, but damn does it feel good to just have someone else care.

10
That's not been my experience at all. =[

4
I'm 40 and I thought I had given up all my fucks.

Looks like I still have some shedding to do!

1

I got out of a 10+ year relationship a couple years ago and got to say I'm content on my own. Tried like four dating sites and realized I'm happier by myself.

34

wife of 12 years left 3 years ago, i haven't even try a new relationship, and if i do, i am afraid the next one will have to deal with my breakup ptsd and newly acquired trust issues

16
- Those are perfect concepts to bring up in therapy. You deserve it, expatriado
  
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- Wife of 11 years left 5 years ago, every time I even think of maybe dating again I'll play around on an app or site for a few days, and I'm scared right back into wanting to stay single.
  
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I got out of a 7 year relationship about 8mo ago... thought I was gonna marry her, she cheated on me. I'm not content on my own, and life feels completely pointless alone. I am literally never not thinking about how miserable I am. Did you experience this? When did it get better?

6
- Its been over 10 years for me since something extremely similar happened. I've never really gotten over it. I want to be in a relationship and connect with someone again but I find it impossible to keep anyones interest of people on online sites and while I have been on a few dates over the years they haven't gone past more than a few dates before fizzing out due to anxiety and trust issues on my part.
  
  I feel throughly scarred by my ex's actions, they have faded over the years but my trust has never really returned.
  
  I've tried therapy and it helped briefly but has never had a lasting effect and I've ended up in a cycle every few years of retrying to meet people then backing out before anything lasting can continue as in my head it will just end up in me being hurt again.
  
  I'm desperately lonely and have fallen into a prolonged sadness that almost never leaves, not really sure where i was going with this, I hope the same doesn't happen with you.
  
  2

Meanwhile me just starting out dating at 29 because I just now feel like a person who is grown enough for a relationship: "Ah bollocks"

28

I'd say what decides if dating is good or not is if it improves your life more than it takes away, and that can happen at any age. I'm 43, but when I was in my 20's to mid-30's I did a lot of dating, and I preferred (by a good margin) the stuff after 30 or so. The part of people's brains that handle jobs like reasoning and good decisions don't stop physically maturing until mid-to-late 20's. So people may literally, physically think different before and after 25ish.

Anecdotally, dating after 30 was just nice because I got to skip some of the crap. I found partners that were content to live life at my speed. Not every date having to be an all-nighter in a club etc.

14
- Yeah, I have my lower age cutoff at like 26 because of this and have no issues going up to 32. I am just not up for childish shit in a relationship and hearing some stories from other dudes what happened in their younger relationships, I might not have skipped the worst time.
  
  I hope I find someone who does improve my life (and me improving theirs!). I want something where everyone gives what they can without burning out and everyone being better off for it.
  
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If you're tired at 25 then you have a long tiring life ahead of you ;-)

17

Yup that's me

5
- Me too.
  
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I got increasingly tired by 30-37 years. Then the doctor worked out I was anaemic and gave me iron infusion - now I'm as energetic as a normal 38 year old. There's no cure for apathy though.

1

What do these people do if they are 25 and tired? I am 28, and while not being very fit (slightlt above normal BMI) I feel pretty good physically and mentally.

12

It might be due to stress in all areas of life that hits young people with little job experience and no money saved harder.

16

The caption makes me want to leap off a bridge

3