Be nice to others

To an extent; you can't be nice to someone if they always yell and scream and demean you

41

On those cases, walking away and not fueling their fire is being nice… to yourself. You don’t deserve to be yelled at or demeaned.

39
Be nice, but stand up for and defend yourself.

13
Nothing upsets people more than when you refuse to match their emotional state though. Kill them with kindness.

10
- I wish I could be like a programmer that did some work for my dad.
  
  My dad, being an asshole, would start telling and screaming when he wasn't happy. The programmer would just stop and quietly say that he needed to calm down. It drove my dad ABSOLUTELY INSANE, but there was nothing he could do. He'd have to choke back his rage, calm down, and ask nicely.
  
  I wish I could do that, but when people yell at me, I yell back.
  
  12
You definitely can be nice to such people.

6
- You were preoccupied with whether you could, that you forgot to consider whether you should.
  
  6

Yeah, but people with problems shouldn't take it out on me. It's not like I don't have my own stuff going on.

26

You are not wrong in your thinking. However ,if someones lashes at you, then you by turn lash out to someone else unrelated to your issues, and then by consequence that person lashes out again on someone unrelated, very quickly becomes a very long and complicated chain that you simply can't stop from coming at you, but you can stop it from spreading once it reaches you. This has been debated for a very long time as the cycle of rage, which to be honest, I am not sure if we have a way out completely. Maybe over time we care more about emotional intelligence and make these problems less prevalent (but I would not bet on that)

13
- Are you a fellow freedom lover? I swear you’ve just described a huge part of the rot in American culture. Hell the whole world knows that one of our major political parties stays in power largely by promising to hurt the “right” people.
  
  7
- I don't lash out, I'm more of a "keep everything inside" person, but that still doesn't stop others from taking it out on me, and while I internalize a lot, I react... Harshly to aggression.
  
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3

Each one of us has a war raging inside, often intestinal.

20

Usually on Taco Tuesday.

8

I'm kind to others precisely because I am usually in great emotional pain, and don't wish to contribute to the pain of others because I know it all too well from younger days.

I firmly believe empathy must be taught, and taught young. This was a good example of what such education would look like:

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/introduction-2/

But th US is blame central. We're taught to figure out what the suffering must have done wrong to deserve their plight. We're taught to be hostile to the concept of demonstrating empathy for others, oh I'm sorry, "virtue signaling." It would hinder our lifelong economic competition against each other, can't have that!

18

One of the most fascinating responses to trolls I've found to DM trolls back in the day was "What happened to you to make you act like this?"

It was amazing how just one question was enough for these jerks to do a 180° and trauma dump, explaining exactly why they were so desperate for attention.

Not that it excuses their behavior, but boy did those trolls really just need a hug now and a single decent adult back in their childhood. Maybe that's just the nature of the ones who wanted to talk, though...

13

Although this is good advice, it shouldn't be necessary to assume someone is having a bad time to be nice to them.

13

That's not what's being said at all.

6
- That's exactly what's being said. The motivation to be nice is to assume someone could be going through something and act accordingly. That's good advice, but shouldn't be necessary. You should be nice for its own sake.
  
  9

Being nice and accommodating have gotten me in much more trouble than being distant and aloof. No thanks.

6

We punish empathy in the US. We give cruelty and practiced sociopathy stock options.

7
- Exactly. Being empathic is in my nature but it's disincentivized at all possible turns...
  
  7

I genuinely try to live by this advice, but then every day some jackass waits until they ran out of merge lane to merge and tries to burst into my lane without even signaling and I'm tempted to not be nice.

4

I try to live like that too, but when somebody wants to casually risk my safety I’m just worried about getting them out of my life ASAP.

I wonder if driving feels a bit anonymous since everybody is physically separated, and some people get internet tough guy syndrome on the road. But it’s not like plenty of these people aren’t assholes in normal life too.

3

Every state overtly chose at inception Rule of law
Not Rule by Force

Ever since then RbF guy have been trying to add in exceptions to legitimize the use of force
Adding complications to leave room for interpretation of rules/laws is a classic good ol boy scheme, great for the guild of lawyers :D The ends never justify the means
There can be the rare situation where force has to be met with force, it's the unnecessary use/escalation where it goes wrong

Stop it You Know Better!
People claim otherwise to further their own interests
We really do know better...
Stop it You Know Better!
Try it as a response to a troll

There is only one meaningful moral tenet
Don't Be a Dick !
Don't do stuff to others you wouldn't want to have happen to you
Don't Be a Dick!

3

People are angry right now. I know I am, and sad, and emotionally struggling at times. I WANT to lash out in frustration. To pick a target and point fingers. There are certainly people out there wholly deserving.

Thing is though we are being pushed against one another. Made to feel as if our struggle is our own. Much of those feelings are from fear bred through uncertainty and this idea that we cannot trust one another. So if you're struggling to find that kindness do this: Pay forward a small act and trust that others will do the same. We all have a backlog of small kindnesses shown to us, so let's begin by tapping into that horde and pulling people together, one step at a time.

3

2

Only if they move out of the damn passing lane. 😤

1

Dont wanna!

1