Density

In highschool, a girl I fancied asked if we could play the awkward game, where the point is to make the other person feel awkward and bail.

Well her first two moves were taking off her bra under her shirt, pulling it out through the neck, and throwing it at me, and then sitting on my lap facing me.

I still did not get the hint.

I found out a few years later when she was going off to college and we were chilling on the couch reminiscing. No chance by then though for either of us.

Remember, when you ask yourself "how could you not understand that", people like me exist.

In college I had a crush on one of my young professors and I wondered if there was any chance of her accepting a date offer. I never had the courage to ask her though. When she handed my final test results back to me there was a sticky note that said "I loved talking to you. If you ever want to talk about ANYTHING, give me a call", and her personal number was listed. I thought, "why would I want to talk about class now that I'm finished?" and I threw the note away and went on with my life. It wasn't until about 5 years later when I was randomly thinking about that moment when it clicked and I was like "damn it!".

Or she’s just trying to drink for free and would walk away after receiving said drink…. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen that happen to people back in the bar hopping days

So when I was about 15/16 I was holiday and a group of us teenagers were hanging out and I had a big crush on this one girl.

Well one night she and her little sister invited me and a younger guy in our group back to their hotel room (seperate from their parents room) and I think nothing of it, when we get there she takes me by the hand and sits me down on her bed, then goes to the bathroom to "get ready" meanwhile her sister and the younger guy just start making out on her bed. I sit there for a minute awkward as fuck before I decide I don't wanna watch these kids make out and just leave.

It wasn't until years and years later that I considered the possibility of what the older sister brought me there to do. I still feel like such a dumbass.

When I was younger and much twinkier I was at the gym trying to figure out what to do with all the heavy weights and machines and such and this incredibly hot musclular guy kept staring at me. I kept thinking I took his machine or that he could tell I had no idea what I was doing and was pissed at me.

Anyway, it only finally dawned on me that he was attracted to me when he started giving me a blow job in the steam room afterwards.

I mean, if she was being playful and you're not that kind of playful you might not have been a good match.

Flirting like that is really indirect, it's ok to miss it, especially when some guys are trained to not engage with women they think are attractive since they don't want to seem "creepy."

Hey women: a lot of us don't get your hints and flirts. Like, at all. Please be direct...

Hot girl: "Hey stud, wanna fuck?"

Me, not listening: "No thanks, I prefer compacts to trucks."

Lemmy try, Lemmy try!

Ahem.

wink So what's a girl need to do to get a Blu-ray of the "Barbie" movie around here?

In High School my dad and little sister came to pick me up from the state YMCA Y&G conference and I was told on the way out that the girl I was talking to was very obviously flirting with me. I didn't even remember who I'd been talking to.

I'm aware of what that line means and I'd say the same thing.

You approached me. Buy me a drink.

I've done this before. -stranger comes up "Hi! I'm (random name), I'm having whisky sours!" -me "nice, I'm having beer", orders beer and walks away.

Try the words “gin and tonic”. That works pretty much everywhere.

TIL that not all humans float in water.

When I was 17, there were two punk girls in a few of my classes, older than me (repeating senior year), hot and they knew it. We were the only openly bi kids in our class. They started giving me more attention, driving me to school, finding me wherever I was, hanging out discussing music, just being cool.

All of which was apparently wasted on me. Near the end of the semester they tried to get me to leave early to hang out at one of their houses. I assumed they just wanted to smoke and listen to music or whatever, but they were weirdly upset when I said I couldn’t. “It’s just one damn class!” It was a subject I liked and I figured it was no big deal.

Well they ghosted me after that. I didn’t figure out why until years later when one of them reconnected. We hung out like before and hooked up a few times. Finally she brought it up and I apologized for being a bad friend, but she laughed and explained that the two of them had been seeing each other (duh) and were trying to add a third (oh) and took it as me saying I wasn’t into them (no I totally was). They tried again and got their third shortly after (a very cute boy I had crushed on the year before) and she said it went well and they kept it up until the three separated post-graduation.

I’m glad it worked out for them but damn what a fuck up. I’m still a nerd but now will always skip class with someone if they ask.

I have a secret. I'm not autistic. I catch every hint. I just didn't care about romance in this world where everything I do is compelled by someone else. I'll never have kids. On top of all that, it's extra trouble no matter how you cut it.

Remember that weird lady that doesn't know how to buy things? I wonder what she's doing now.