6 mo. ago • 94%

If the us government bans asbestos what else will I wipe my ass with?

Toilet paper is expensive. Asbestos is the same color as toilet paper and you can clean it by throwing it in the fireplace. This means it can be used as reusable toilet paper. Try using cloth instead of toilet paper and you're stuck with shit stains.

The asbestos ban is a result of lobbying efforts by Big Toilet Paper change my mind.

13 comments

A literal shitpost. I like your style

35
And more importantly, what will the people of Thetford Mines eat?

12
- Expensive toilet paper probably. Toilet paper can also be turned into booze I saw it on the internet so it must be true.
  
  10
  
  Being that Thetford Mines is one of the poorest towns in Quebec (their singular industry was asbestos), I doubt they can afford it. Maybe shitty one ply, but I'm not even sure. Notably, at the "top" of the list is the city of Asbestos (recently renamed Val-des-sources)....
  
  3
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  1
I usually save my junk mail for that purpose.

9
- But asbestos is so much softer than junk mail
  
  12
  
  You just need to chew it first
  
  9
Get a bidet, OP

3
Your hands, duh.

3
The three sea shells.

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