Daily discussion thread: Thursday, May 9, 2024

I've been reading a lot of stories on Reddit about people who are caretakers for elderly relatives and there are an alarming number of people who are the victims of abusive relationships with their parents - often being groomed from childhood to care for their parents and grandparents at the expense of their own lives. It does make me wonder how many examples of elder abuse are the result of people who have been victimised hitting back.

Coercive control is generally talked about in terms of romantic relationships but it is a major theme in the way a lot of these people have been treated by their parents/families. There was one woman who was put into a caretaking role for her grandmother when she was 12 and raised with the expectation that caring was her only role in life - to the extent that she was pushed to become a nurse so that she would be able to provide full time nursing care for her grandmother in the future.

The worst part is that a lot have had all their options taken away - they have given up their working lives so have no money and no employment history, they have not had a chance to establish relationships and families of their own, and staying in an abusive caretaking relationship is the only reason they are not homeless. There are so many parallels to the experience of "battered wives" who eventually retaliate against their abuser.

I'm not sure there is any real solution to the mess that is human relationships, but hopefully the increased awareness of coercive control will help people recognise it in all sorts of relationships and increase the support available to people to get out of them.

I've accidentally trained someone that when she bonks me with her head she gets a treat. Good times lol

Aw he hates me so much. Look at the loathing written all over his face

I wish I was a crow. I'm only 2km away from somewhere I need to go via crow, but 4km by car or 6km by PT

Update on my wallet

Found it when I got home!

Thank goodness that’s a relief!

Maybe it’s good karma if you believe in it as I returned a set of car keys to someone who dropped them before I left work.

jayyysus stuck my nose in a google search for the first time in a long time and the fucking thing is unusable now

Eric Bana could have been a huge Hollywood top shelf A lister and had a huge cinematic career but chose a work/life balance and be happy.

Damn him.

I managed to get a rare shot of both my snoozy pets in the same frame!

I accidentally left my teaspoon in the office kitchen when I washed my dishes the other night. I didn't realise until I went to eat my lunch just now. Went to the kitchen, and it was still there! Three days later!

I don't know what the odds of a teaspoon vanishing in an office kitchen are on any single day, but they must be over 50% across three days. I was lucky!

I think I'm going to do it. I'm going to betray my barber and find another one.

I can't do these places that only accept walk-ins. I want to book a time and get it over and done with.

I don't want to sit in a barber's for an hour watching a Ministry of Sound playlist waiting to get my hair cut

No work for me today - colon went boom about an hour before I was due to start and my clients were a 97 yo and another household where both the client and the carer have autoimmune issues, so I phoned in and said 'it could be moving stress or it could be something, what do?' I was told very firmly regardless to Stay Home.
Back to the packing!

I did not have brain worms on my politics bingo card. 🧠🪱🪱🪱

wooooo. Today we had

• plumber to put in pressure reducer and new lever ceramic swishy tapware
• Cerycat to vet for checkup
• shitload of servers to complete and ship to nz

last now done, hubs at vet with cat, tapware completed, I'm having a bloody cuppa

Miss Meow is snoring away loudly in her tunnel tonight, so Mr Woof has taken over her bed in the corner. I think he's decided it's a good spot to look through the window and keep an eye out for marauding possums in the backyard.

Strange question: How do you ask for a nice big warm hug from your partner without ASKING. I feel like a need some spontaneous affection, like I come home and just get a bear hug or something. But asking totally ruins the feeling of the surprise. Coffee is like a lukewarm limp handshake for the soul, but I will take it!

Thank you Brion.

I guess I'll hang my feet off the side of the bed then

They have changed the shape of Strepsils. I don’t recall having given permission for this.

This gentle pitter pat rain is perfect for the garden. Was looking a bit dry.

Was awake at 4am and grabbed to cat for a cuddle in bed. Cat fell asleep cuddled up. Cat suddenly wakes up some time later, and leaps into the air off the bed. Lucky I only got a small scratch.

Up early after Zooks woke me up by sitting on my shoulder, so I decided I'd tackle some more clearing and sorting.
Last day of work before the move. Kinda wish I'd taken this week off as well, but I suspect I would have faffed around more if I had. Plus I wouldn't have scored free cat food from one of my clients after her cat sadly died.

I've been getting to sleep super early (around 8/9pm) for over a week, and it's been going well, it's nice to be awake for sunrise. But tonight it just wasn't working. Tossed and turned from 8 until 10, finally got to sleep sometime around 10:30 or maybe 11, then had a bad dream and scared myself awake by 4. Can't get back to sleep, so I guess my day starts now

I get that you might like both but that's not the question. Team Coffee or Team Tea? Which side are you on?

Team Tea

Really great week so far at work. Falling quite behind on personal/life admin because I usually have no brain for it when I get home and I'm just fully switched on at work. This weekend I better not fall sick or have some other shit suddenly happen... I do need to smash through a lot of stuff.

I am glad that I feel engaged enough at work that I neither feel like I'm drowning, nor bored enough to be on my phone - it's been really great having hours away from my phone and actually concentrating on something else (and getting paid for it), even though it's behind a screen.

My neighbour has some sort of car alarm thing that goes off genuinely dozens of times a day. Day or night, it doesn't matter. I don't understand what the appeal is or what's causing it. Is the actual car alarm, complete with flashing lights, etc. it's been going on since before I moved in (so easily a year), mostly happens between 7-9pm, but less frequently at various times overnight

Just why

spent a whole hour trying to remember this song, started with the riff and the melody , words slowly came back, then the band, then all of a sudden I just knew it . This is my totes fave Foo Fighters song

Generator - foo fighters https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhERrxABD5o

sigh Misplaced my wallet earlier this week and I really needed it today.

Hopefully when I get home I'll be able to find it, highly unusual that it wasn't in my bag today as I thought I put it back in there earlier in the week.

Stressing about it.

I expected the concreters over the road to lay a fairly standard driveway for the new townhouses, but they have instead set up some quite complicated formwork to create a series of irregular charcoal coloured blocks which I assume will have a lighter coloured infil for the gaps. Should look pretty good. They needed to use a huge amount of timber to set up the formwork though, including a bunch they were happily scavenging from a neighbour's hard rubbish pile. I guess that makes it a community endeavour.

Movie review. Dream Scenario. Netflix.

Nick Cage plays a narcissistic arsehole who thinks the world revolves around him. More specifically, he is incredibility selfish in thought and action, never thinks of others or their point of view or suffering and he never does a single thing to help another. The internets chews him up alive and we cheer.

3 hobbits

Update: they agreed to my request (I think), but it's a 2 week waiting period until they actually change over the number. I lodged my requests yesterday, which is why I heard back so soon. It seems to be a mostly automated process, as far as I can tell. Everything's done down to the minute. The email telling me all of this came 24 hours after I submitted the request yesterday at 4:57pm, and they will call me at exactly 4:57pm on the 22nd to tell me it's been changed over (apparently).

I'm just happy they have procedures in place I guess. I have bad memories of losing accounts to lost phone numbers. I've learnt my lesson though, and will switch over to a proper TOTP app once I get back in. I'll probably buy a yubikey one day too

Breakfast 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋

Fresh chili cheese bread is delicious

omg, the jalapenos i chopped for chilli bread are spicy 😵

@briongloid Here's a question for everyone: What's your favourite colour(s)?

I'll start: Mine are teal and purple.

So I found an iCloud account I setup half a decade ago with a phone number I no longer have. But I had SMS 2FA setup 😬

I still have access to the email bound to it, and know the password, and through old emails I was able to figure out which phone number was associated with it. I also still have the MacBook I registered the account with, although I think I just setup a new account rather than going through all the motions, and it has been reset a few times, so it's not recorded as a trusted device anymore.

Bet time: what do we reckon the likelihood of apple removing the 2FA is? My guess is probably a 35% chance they do, assuming nobody has my old number yet (if they do and they called apple and were like "yo what do? I didn't make no iCloud request dawg" then that probably goes down to like a 15% chance, unless the apple people asked for more info and confirmed that at the very least they aren't me, and can use that in their investigations, in which case it probably goes up to 75%)

Ughh... I was just thinking how nice it was that there was an unscented soap I like at Coles, so I could just pop it in with the rest of my basics. Go to buy another box ...and it's gone 😭 Guess I'm doing this weeks shop at Woolies and getting a few boxes from there in case it's discontinued.