What's something that turns you on, but isn't necessarily sexual itself?

The boldness to use two commas in the first three words of a sentence.

Confidence without arrogance. Being able to assert yourself without being a douche or feeling the need "one up" everyone. Fake alpha bullshit is a huge turnoff.

Talent and passion. An otherwise-average woman who can, for example, play an instrument or write or dance beautifully sort of immediately becomes a 10/10 for me.

I love people who love things I do as well. A couple examples from recent memory: I love black metal and I was wearing a hoodie from an obscure band and this guy recognized the logo. We had a long talk about music and that was definitely a huge turn on. I also really love when people geek out about stuff, and I met a guy who's a mechanical engineer and he was happy to talk about his job and all the things that go along with it.

I guess I'm just describing having a personality.

Being a nice person, caring for others and what you do really sparks my interest.

For me it's having a very distinct feature of some sort. I don't know why, but if she is very short or tall, or has a prosthetic limb or weirdly shaped boobs, or a nose like a racing yacht's keel, it just really does something for me. Like otherwise I generally find most of the same features as many people do attractive, but add that standout trait and whoah, be still, my heart.

Woman with her hair in a ponytail.

A woman peeing. 🤷

Nudity.

As an appearance sort of thing...big hair. Natural big hair. Wavy, curly or full on afro.

A woman wearing a thin choker, like a lace choker or a thin choker with a small pendant.

I'm not into BDSM, and I don't link this with the meaning of being collared. I just like the esthetics of this kind of necklace.

Hair. When a woman has nice hair, it's really hot.

On the subject of contrasts: You show me four women and I'd pick the one who is apparently different, every time. Three blondes and a brunette? Three brunettes and a blonde? Three sundresses and shorts and t-shirt? I'll pick "the ___ one" every time.

Thunderstorms. I am not aroused by thunderstorms, but they're great fucking weather. I don't know if it's because it's cooler, if it's the background noise, the lighting, but my ideal sex scenario has a summer afternoon thunderstorm going on outside.

I mean, your wife could do someone male to provide that contrast, even more contrast, right? It wouldn't require her to be bi. I do also find contrast beautiful, like black hair and pale skin is so pretty and yes two different looking bodies entwined. I don't like when guys are huge and women tiny, or vice versa, though. Have always dated guys around my height.

I agree with both quiet non arrogant confidence, and competence, those are hot.

that's where all of my sexual attraction comes from! I don't really get people thirsting over a random pretty person being naked. But make that person dominant and caring and I'm down.

I particularly enjoy those traits in potential sexual partners:

Dominance, creativity, intelligence (if you're smarter than me I'm already on my knees), size difference is also good, confidence, assertiveness, caring, simply being a nice person to be around & being able to be emotionally vulnerable.

A proper face slap. Not facial abuse per se, just a nice solid front hand slap. Giving or recieving. It realy wakes you up.

Both me and my husband are basically, eyes face, and for me bum, for him, boobs.
Nothing else for me I think, I like deep voices, but more so, I find high pitched and scratchy voices a turn off.

But then him, being outwitted. He is stupidly smart, he has a PhD and 2 Masters, and finds someone outwitting him or outsmarting him actually a turn on. It's weird. The odd times I do it, prove him wrong, he almost instantly jumps my bones, he can't control himself.

Accents.

Boots, the higher the better.

Also long ear rings.

Intelligence.

(Sapiosexual)

Mine's a little weird to explain but if a woman goes off to slip into something more comfortable (like, actual pajamas, not talking about the euphemism for changing into lingerie) I not only get turned on, I'll get a little obsessed for a while. First time it happened was senior prom, I went with a friend of mine (just as friends) and afterwards a bunch of us ended up at her place playing video games. At one point she was like, "sorry you guys are stuck in your formal wear but I'm getting out of this thing". She came back in sweatpants and a T-shirt and had ditched her contacts for glasses (I didn't even know she wore glasses at that point) and for some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about her for like, months. Tried talking her into dating a couple times but no-go. After that, when girls I dated would get into pajamas to chill with me for the evening, I'd always lose interest in chilling and want to take them right to bed. To this day it drives my wife nuts that she'll buy sexy lingerie and not get more of a reaction than when she just changed into sweats.

I didn't put the comfy clothes thing together until my wife and I started vacationing with other couples. Every time a woman we were hanging out with left to change into comfy clothes to hang out for the rest of the night, I'd be like, "Why the hell am I so attracted to Bob's wife all of the sudden". Eventually It clicked that I apparently have a thing for pajamas which was a huge relief because I was a little worried that I was falling in love with a couple female friends there for a minute. Turns out it's a lot easier to turn off when you know what's going on.