Damn, looks like I need to cut out the MEAT (PIGEON) and MEAT (FROG).
Shame.
Have you asked yourself wether it's truly something you want for yourself, or instead, perhaps a feeling that you're behind on some social benchmark? I ask because I'm 33 with a relatively similar experience, but when a woman I dated told me she thought I might be asexual, when I did the research and asked myself these questions I realized I was operating entirely on the supposition that I'm 'normal', and not that the urges to be in relationships and have sex likely stemmed from a perceived social obligation.
Once I realized that in my heart of hearts I've never actually experienced an urge to have sex with another person, I embraced an asexual identity. Without sex as a motivator, I soon realized I didn't even experience romantic attraction.
Some folks think this is sad, but in truth I'm so much happier and carefree, without the pressures to fit into a mold that doesn't actually fit me, much less the stresses of maintaining a relationship.
Alcohol, weed, shrooms, 2C-E, and DMT.
Alcohol is fun. I dont really have a problem moderating. I have a large stature and passively tend to pace myself around others so I tend to be slightly more sober than whoever I'm drinking with. I will very rarely drink alone.
Weed is alright. A little trickier to get a hold of if I want some for myself. I think it may just be that my tolerance is low but it gives me problems with racing thoughts and paranoia, and weirdly of late, racing heartrate. In the last few years I've needed to do mindfulness exercises while high in order to keep my head right. I simply cannot partake in social or public situations, the problems outlined being magnified. Last couple of times I did, I ended up having panic attacks. If I can keep a lid on things, a quiet evening at home alone, stoned and watching movies or cooking something slightly fancy can be very enjoyable.
I LOVE shrooms. I've done them I think four times and every time it was an absolute blast. First time my friends and I watched Fern Gully first, then switched over to Team America World Police after we peaked. I don't think I've ever laughed harder, before or since. I genuinely had concern at some points that my life was in danger from how brain meltingly hard I was laughing. Every other time it just turned an average afternoon into a big fun adventure, made me feel better about my place and trajectory at the time, and just happy. Id love to get a hold of some more to do them with my current friend group.
2C-E was... weird. Technically my first psychedelic actually. It was kind of giggly for a while coming up and I remember food tasting really good, but I ended up having some slightly disturbing visual hallucinations after peaking. For some reason someone in the group wanted to watch the Walking Dead and it was the episode in the second season where they have to clear out all the zombies in Herschel's barn. Everyone's faces were in like extra 3D and I got freaked out at one point thinking the zombies were going to come out of the screen. Also I distinctly remember thinking my kinesthetic sense had identified my internal organs, like I could map out my guts and tell where my spleen was and stuff. I'd probably do it again having done other psychedelics since but considering how rare it is and the oddness of my only experience I have no motivation to seek it out.
I accidentally did a heroic hit of DMT and massively dissociated, experienced ego-death, got swallowed up in the wormhole and was bare-face confronted with the absurdity of my own consciousness by the machine elves in the 9th dimensional slipgate of the causal firmament. As a nihilist it's the closest thing I've had to a religious experience, before or since. It doesn't last long if you smoke it like we did; you peak within a minute and come down within like 15 minutes, but man it felt like hours I was out there. I can't imagine being on ayahuasca for 8 hours+ real time. That one hit of DMT I genuinely feel affected my worldview and character as an adult more than maybe any one other experience I've had, and I must say for the better. For probably a year afterward I just felt a glow, and connection to everything, I felt like I was more in tune with my emotions, I could make my brain do things I had trouble with before, I just felt more alive. I don't believe it's a miracle drug and like anyone else hearing someone wax poetic about a wild trip they had my eyes glase over at the thought, but I will say: if the stars align, you get access to DMT, maybe have a bit of experience with other psychedelics, are in a healthy social situation, and feel you can keep your head above water, fucking go for it. There's a leap of faith aspect to it but never in my life would I take back that experience I had. In truth I'd love to do it again, if I were able to track it down, and maybe even send some to the lab for testing.
I also wanna try acid (LSD), but it's famously difficult to get ahold of in my area. I'm hopeful once weed goes federal the dealers will switch to psychedelics and I'll be able to prock but cest la vie until then, I guess.
Taped to the inside of the blower housing of my furnace.
Yeah, I've been told it's easy on the '08, too. The truth is I'm not really on the highway that much to begin with, unless I'm visiting family in the next state over or very occasionally running to one of the bigger cities. It's not enough to justify at this point, and I'd wager not enough by the time I sell the ol' girl.
Midwest. Great Plains region.
I kinda feel like in the grand scheme, it doesn't really matter. Sure we could measure by weight, but outside of a few ingredients prone to density variation it gets us by, and really there's just no impetus to change. 🤷
I have a 2004 Honda element, the windshield attracts bugs like craz. In the summer I can go through a gallon of fluid in a few weeks. I also have a 2008 Outback, which is the one I usually take across state lines to see family. It's better at keeping them off the glass, but the washer line is busted and the tank is cracked, so I still end up having to use gas station squeegee a couple times per trip.
I can't win.
I kind of agree, that it's idiotic to be proud in the sense of accomplishment, but I don't think that was the intended meaning when the term was originally used in this context. GRSM people say they're proud to be queer, because pride can also mean a rejection of shame. Of course there are people who will take genuine pride of accomplishment in their place of birth, but I ifgure those folks don't have a lot else going for them in terms of accomplishment, or perhaps don't understand the concept of accomplishment to start.
I mean games are pretty homogenized anymore. There's strong trends and bandwagons giving rise to new genres and subgenres everywhere. The OP asked for games but I don't think there's a problem replying with genres.
No problem. As an aside, and just so you know, my experience may not be unique, but it also does not describe that of all asexual people. There is a WHOLE lot of variation.
Basically. Sometimes I just realize I'm horny. If the situation allows, I may go deal with it. I'm sure there have been times where a stimulus of a sexual nature produced an arousal response in me, but never from a desire for intercourse with the object of the stimulus.
Sexual attraction requires a object of attraction, usually a person who you feel the urge to have sex with. Arousal isn't directed.
I mean it's generally bad form to attempt to explain why someone is of a particular orientation. You don't say "well you're only gay because you have trauma," because that's fucked up and overtly reductive of a key aspect of their personality.
I don't experience sexual attraction. I still get horny. Orgasms feel great. I get lonely all the time, and still need social interaction. My experience is far from unique amongst asexual people. I don't think it's as simple as a single chemical imbalance.
At the same time, I am scientifically-minded, and understand that my mind arises as a product of the processes of my brain and body. I don't disagree that hormones play as a factor in my orientation, but not everyone in the ace community shares that sentiment, and of course having your orientation chalked up to a specific medical or phychological "quirk" generally feels bad.
HVAC tech. My hands would be banana peels.
