My new headcanon. Holy hell that's genius.

Don't be a devil's advocate. Devils can advocate for themselves.

I had to post three or four warnings to my friend group that said, "The following is not a cry for help, I promise I'm fine" before I posted this.

Worth it.

No, but I have been surviving, and honestly that's enough for now!

Thanks babe. ♥

I am a fixer by nature and by trade.

I'm big for advocating not to fix your partner, because then you aren't partners, but I've spent so much time so deep in the shit that the other day my boyfriend was saying this really sweet, emotional thing about how I "saved" him, and I had to very carefully censor myself because to me, his problems were just... they didn't even register. Among other professionals, I've called it "cute." Like to what I'm used to, his problems were the equivalent of "I can't find the mate to this sock" and I found it in the dryer.

Of course, his feelings are real and valid and justified, and his worst day is still his worst day, so there's no force on earth that could make me belittle his joy and gratitude but... yeah. Barely even registered that I was "saving" him.

Which says a lot about him, and a lot about me.

Fun fact; I think this is my first comment on Lemmy in like 2 weeks. Ya girl busy. Promise I still love ya. Just trying to save the world and doing full time college which was biting way too much off to chew.

I'll give it a shot. Thanks!

Every time it happens I shake my phone and yell, "Just let me give you money!!"

Yes! Every other month it drops me!

Literally I use my glasses as the example whenever I face an, "it's not natural!" Argument.

Friend, this is an ADHD community. Not a, "have you tried changing your outlook" community.

I figured you weren't! And I don't blame you for jumping to someone's defense. We need more people like that, so thanks.

I can't say yours can. But mine was.

Let me clarify; by getting on a medicine to regulate my sleep (I have delayed sleep phase, and of course I was depressed not sleeping) and getting on an ADHD med to help me with... all this, after a few years of working with my doctor and providing monthly feedback, I was able to fix the things that caused my depression.

I like to warn people it's not overnight. And it's a process. And it takes time. But I went from constant, high-key, wish I was dead, tried to die a couple times... to happy. Capable. Well-rested. Looking forward to the rest of my life. Because even if some things are hard, making myself get up in the morning isn't anymore. I find joy in things. Even small things. I can do the fucking laundry. And I only rarely get so overwhelmed with the idea of doing all the stupid stuff I have to do to live!

When you're as depressed as I was, just the thought that maybe, one day, even if it's years away, it wouldn't suck every single moment felt so close to something like hope that I needed that. I know I'm not alone. I know other people need that now.

So I try and tell people every single day (I do most of it in person but I try to do it online), if you're willing to put in the effort just a bit... things already suck right? May as well suck with an option they might not later.

But if I could go back in time I would absolutely tell myself, prioritize the sleep first. Make sure you get something that helps you sleep, but doesn't make you sleep too long, and you can wake up without being a zombie. Everything else went much better and faster for me after that one thing was figured out.

You're entitled to your feelings. Doesn't bother me one bit.

I can remember what I've seen and share my opinions on it, same as anybody else. I wouldn't call that an "unhealthy hangup" so much as "remembering why you don't care for someone."

Now, could I continue to make this case? Sure. Could I provide evidence? Absolutely. But I am not going to hyperfocus on this, I'm not interested in running a crusade, and I don't owe anybody here anything.

I think that would be unhealthy.

Besides, several people here have gone forth with the impression to let someone have a fresh start. That's a valid way to want to live. I can't do that, but I won't try and step on other people trying to believe in the good in people.

If you think I'm an asshole for saying someone has a reputation that they earned, that's fine. If you think I'm an asshole for saying I think sharing an instance with them is cringe, that's fine, too. I don't regret making an attempt at finding someone else saying something I would say, and sharing that, because it wastes as little of my time on an issue as possible.

The more I dig in on something, the higher the risk of hyperfixation on it, and there is nothing to be gained here by anyone if I hyperfixate on why I dislike someone.

I'm trying to engage in this discussion, but do it as lightly as possible, which is why I'm only replying to one reply I get at a time in this thread and move on. (I responded to yours this time. I'll be ignoring all others here for the rest of the night.)

I don't enjoy associating with people who admit that they intentionally antagonize other people so they get in trouble. That really, really, really sticks in my craw. Not understanding social norms or the billions of things that aren't said in rules, or how some folks can violate things that are and others can't, is a massive noose around the neck of people who are neurologically atypical, so someone claiming they do those things but 'only' against people they deem deserve it is a massive problem for me.

Welp, I just got home from work, and I had a rough day, so I can't stop myself from replying. I'll do just this one and log off the fediverse for the night.

If you look at the profile of the user you're replying to, at the top you'll see they made themselves a banner showing off how other people despise them. This could be a good thing if the people they were bragging about were like... nazis. But this individual has a reputation and they really, really earned it.

If you search 'Universal Monk' on the fediverse, you'll get this at the top, "I'm Calling For the Fediverse to Ban Universal Monk." It does a deep dive of their other accounts. A lot of what they're doing in this thread is claiming that they're super open and honest about who they are (and they're on an account they've curated to not be such a douche canoe) which means you have to look at the other accounts to see what the deal is.

Here's a link to a call to action on slrpnk calling to ban UM. The post isn't interesting- the comments are. And after seeing how people make a game out of figuring out the rules of a place specifically so they can be as obnoxious as possible without copping a ban, seeing this behavior in the wild and recognizing it for what it is, sets my teeth on edge. (This is where I would move to the section to talk about evidence of puppetry and such, but I'm choosing not to hyperfocus on this.)

ETA: Okay I couldn't help myself. I added a bit in a paragraph above, but here is a fantastic bit. This is a comment from auk. It's under the second link. I'm copy and pasting the relevant bit here. (Auk is speaking to UM.)

You did know you were being obnoxious previously, and refused to stop doing it until it escalated to an account ban, and then made some new accounts and started looking for new places to do it.

I think admins and mods those new places can make the decision about whether that is ban evasion, or whether they want to let you do this all again until you inevitably get banned again sometime later. People have talked with you about why what you’re doing is a problem. Why they would pick that second option is something of a mystery to me, but I’ll leave it up to them. I’m just relaying the information.

It would be a different story if you were just misunderstanding something, and completely open to a conversation about why you keep getting banned and what you can do differently, but you’re clearly more interested in figuring out the details of the rules so you can find ways around them and keep doing your same thing.

I know. Everytime I see they made a dbzer0 alt I cringe but nothing I can do.

Adderall.

And yet you were upvoted, and I was down.

Which is weird, in a community devoted to pointing out that the police are the problem. If you tell even the most bootlicky of bootlickers that criminals are using their favorite law enforcement officers as a smokescreen to do evil shit, many of them will turn.

She's screaming, with her head in the leopard's mouth, "But I can be useful!"

Did you not read the article that was attached? Multiple outlets in Philadelphia reported this incident.