The person smoking weed next to me with skin darker than my own, yes.

True, but I feel like in these discussions I really need to know which fruit it was that God was chatting with Great-Grandma about that afternoon.

I feared Trump a lot less after Bush broke me. I fear another Trump less even. Younger, more idealistic me would vomit with disappointment in my shrugging and sighing instead of seething and yelling.

Sometimes I attend 12-step meetings again for social reasons or friendly support or job hunting and even the boilerplate texts will still make me be like “What in the tarnation?” Like literal tarnation.

Those war criminals in DC in later Bush administrations were so appalling and demoralizing that it’s hard to remember they’re able to be right about any single thing.

Wow that Donald Trump guy is starting to look attractive for the first time in human history.

I never have a pithy way to correct people who mention survival of the fittest.

It is, in fact, only survival of the fit enough.

This is the only Reddit tradition that has no name. But we used to celebrate it at least once every three months, if I can recall correctly.

They’d be super offensés if they could speak a real language. Thanks for half our vocabulary, suckeurs.

Please, no. I need to believe there’s still a place where things aren’t worsening.

cleverly also called “dogfooding”

Sapiosexuals rise up. Then ejaculate.

Unambiguous pedantry suffices

When I don’t, I act like I do, and the rest takes care of itself. Plus more friends plus more actual confidence.

It takes a village. Don’t kinkshame. Do nazishame. Do wealthhordeshame.

This is the kinda community that requires more than 5 hours of sleep to digest. I know now.

“A problem with alcohol”? I think not; why, I am a professional. Good day, sir.

—me to the neighbor’s mailbox

I’m partial to The 5.6.7.8’s, myself

Omg I haaaaate the 9/11s. If they ever find out who was driving those planes, we should probs kill them.

Brazzers ethics correct