Trans

Link to poll: https://www.dataforprogress.org/blog/2024/10/23/voters-prefer-candidates-who-are-supportive-of-transgender-rights-think-recent-political-ads-have-gotten-mean-spirited-and-out-of-hand

> When voters are asked whether they are more inclined to support a candidate who backs transgender rights or one who opposes them, voters overwhelmingly choose the candidate in favor of transgender rights, by a margin of 21 points. This trend holds true among Independents, with a 19-point preference. Even 22% of Republicans indicate they are more likely to support a candidate who favors trans rights—a significantly higher percentage than the share of Democrats who would back a candidate opposing them.

> Furthermore, voters showed frustration with the wave of anti-trans advertisements. When asked if they thought political attack ads against the transgender community have gotten mean spirited and out of hand, far more voters agree than disagree (+28 points). This finding holds true for independents (+23 points) as well, with even 31% of Republicans finding that there were too many political attack ads.

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

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I've come across bad news that my home state has passed a really shitty law regarding trans people. Are there things I can do to help change this and all of the other shitty policies and attitudes at home?

Just wondering for those who have seen it, what your thoughts are about the recent documentary Will & Harper.

The final print volume of the manga is out, and I guess this will be the plot of the movie, so spoiler alert!

Is Makoto trans? IMHO, it doesn't matter, and that's the point. This is a really trans- and (queer-) positive story.

Aside from the obvious themes of trans presentation and queer romance (whether Makoto is trans or not then at least one of Ryuji and Saki ain't straight!), there is a very strong message of self-acceptance.

Makoto's grandfather's arc teaches us to accept ourselves, even at the potential cost of estranging our family (and although it isn't shown, it's pretty clear that the path is open for reconciliation with Makoto's mother). There's a great line from the neighbor too after doing Makoto's makeup: you decide whether it suits you!

The Ryuji/Saki + Makoto romance line is all about how there are people who will appreciate you for your true self, and you don't have to lose your friends.

Saki in particular struggles with what it means to find someone "special", and who she should live with: in the end she realizes you can just decide it for yourself! And also comes to understand that while her parents maybe fit the socially-expected role, it's the people that actually care for and are there for her (her grandmother and Makoto) that are important.

And then there's "I just want to live as me" Makoto. Maybe a femboy; maybe a trans girl; certainly exploring. This of course echoes that "but am I really trans" self-doubt, and the answer is: it doesn't matter! It's up to you! Just be yourself (can't be anyone else!). Makoto recognizes himself in his grandfather, and turns there for advice in the end. By the end of the story, all the characters are living more true to themselves, and are happier for it.

Plus seeing Makoto's hair gradually growing out hit me right in the feels 🥲

PS I only realized recently than Pom is also the creator of trans meme icon Kurumi-chan! (Menhera-chan) I hope we see more from this author in the future.

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

So. This is something I've never talked to anyone in my real life about, but for whatever reason I'm more comfortable asking a bunch of strangers on the internet for advice. Deep breath.

I am coming up on 40yo, and since I was 16 I've mostly been in dedicated heterosexual relationships. I have always considered myself a cis male and maybe a little bi but things are... changing rapidly, I guess. I am single for the first time in years all this freedom and time means I'm doing some long overdue introspection. I don't think I've ever been particularly happy with my body or my gender. I am finding myself much more attracted to people with penises, and more importantly, I am finding myself wanting to play a different, more submissive maybe, role in the bedroom. I finally have an opportunity to try new and different things with all sorts of different people, and that's sort of exciting, but I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or even what I'm feeling.

I see a lot of trans folks self-actualizing and I'm super happy for them. I envy them for knowing what they want. I don't know what I want and it's driving me a little crazy lately. I would kill to have that level of knowledge of who I wanted to be. I am not a particularly masculine man, but I don't think I feel like I would be more comfortable being more traditionally feminine, though that doesn't necessarily repulse me, either. I would certainly be happier with less body hair. When I was I kid I wanted to be a robot. Now as an adult I maybe just want to be a robot who fucks occasionally, gender irrelevant. Fully functional, you might say. I don't really know what to do with that feeling, though.

Any advice on how to navigate literally any of this would be awesome. I feel like a teenager again, no idea how any of this works or where to even begin. I don't have the knowledge or the language to talk coherently about any of this stuff, and certainly no experience. I am doing my best you guys but all of this is confusing as fuck.

I want to preface this by saying that we have a zero tolerance policy for transphobia. Your comment will be removed and you will be banned if you spout transphobia here. Our existence is not up for debate.

That said, how do you differentiate being transgender and being trans racial?

I'm curious how to answer this question in a good faith debate with someone. Emotionally I know that they're not the same and that one is wrong and the other is not wrong, but I'm unsure as to why that is and am curious if anyone else has given any thought about it.

LONDON, 11 October 2024, 3:50 PM—6 young trans activists infiltrated the LGB Alliance’s annual conference at the Queen Elizabeth II Conference Hall in Westminster, some of whom fled quickly after while others were held by security for a period before being let go. They did so with intentions of ending the conference early, which they describe as a horrendous breeding ground for fervent and violent transphobia.

The group released approximately 6,000 crickets from bags hidden on their persons which they snuck through security just before a talk on the “dangers” of medical transition. They made sure to spread the crickets (which do not infest and pose no danger to humans) across the entire hall, in order to ensure the conference could be safely brought to an end. The speech was postponed and later speeches were cancelled. They filmed some of the earlier speeches using hidden cameras in order to “expose the fact that this group really has no interest whatsoever in promoting the rights of cis LGB people, and exists entirely to hurt the trans community as much as they possibly can”. Speakers at the anti-trans event told the audience to “Squash them, kill them, kill the buggers!”

One bug carrier said they’ve “been feeling physically ill with nerves, mentally cycling through all the possibilities and worst case scenarios, a thousand times over. I’m scared. But I fear more for the outcomes if we don’t go through with this action.”

The LGB Alliance claims to stand for the rights of lesbians, bisexuals, and gay men, but a challenge from Mermaids and the Good Law Project against their charitable status objects that they “dedicate most of their output to denigrating trans people”. The crick-kids say that “the LGB Alliance’s hate and cruelty resonates out into the political sphere”. They believe the result of the conference, if it had gone ahead as planned, would have been an acceleration of transphobic hate and misinformation, which drives much of the attack on their healthcare and dignity in all other parts of their lives.

Speaking hours before entering the conference:

“It makes me really angry to see trans kids being talked about like a bunch of brainless children who can’t make decisions for or speak for themselves. I’m sick of having our voices taken away by bigoted people like the LGBA who speak over us instead of listening.”

“Whilst we, the trans community, cobble together what little support we can to keep each other safe, this group claiming to stand for social progress spends hundreds of thousands of pounds annually to keep us down. We are trans kids, we are loved, and we deserve dignity.”

“They may try to ‘sound the alarm’ on trans youth accessing life-saving healthcare but we cannot and will not let them. Trans youth are powerful and we will let them fucking know it.”

All trans youth apprehended by attendees have been released and returned safely home.

once again, to my chagrin, I feel it drawing near

it never seems to stray, too far away, this feeling of unease

I try to stand tall, careful not to fall, as I wipe away the tears

now I'm begging, end your nagging, before you bring me to my knees

the way they look, they read me like a book, it's exactly what I feared

judged by my cover, decided by another, I'm just begging you please

I don't want to hide, let me decide, the things that I hold dear

I don't understand, why this world is so bland, if I wanted I could blend in with ease

I just can't decide, do I really want to hide, or face the challenges here

and the last line won't rhyme, cause life isn't perfect, but fuck it at least I still have you.

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

Other day I made a post about transphobia in the Fediverse and I crossposted to several communities, one of them was !fediverse@lemmy.zip. It seems the post I made attracted the attention of the mod and he decided to come over to this community and post transphobia apologia here. He was banned shortly afterwards. I would encourage people here to avoid that community, and any other communities he moderates. Since as a moderator he can easily exercise his power to silence dissenting views and to intimidate others. It's not best to participate there.

I don't know of many good ones that could be used instead, perhaps someone could start a fediverse community on lemmy.blahaj.zone, but that's beside the point of the post. Main point is to share this information with the community so you can avoid using a community run by a known transphobe.

I've only been on Lemmy a few days and I've already witnessed a lot of thinly veiled transphobia, anything from people dismissing the existence of trans people, to trying to claim we are predators. I've also seen people downvoted in the general communities for expressing trans support, or seemingly for no reason other than simply being openly trans or visibly queer. I know it's an ongoing effort to moderate transphobia on Lemmy, and the fediverse as a whole. We have to also address mentions of thinly veiled transphobia and transphobic users. Transphobia isn't just a differing opinion, it is a dangerous hateful sentiment which causes harm to vulnerable people and it needs to be addressed, at the instance and community level. We need to put in the effort to identify transphobic dogwhistles and language used by transphobes to eradicate this type of behavior from our communities and servers alike.

Some people will argue that the light stuff isn't something to worry about, but that's not true. This is a tactic they use to blend in with normies and make them think that nothing they are doing or saying is wrong. It's what transphobic right-wing YouTubers and Facebook users do to avoid being banned for hate speech. We are better than these corporations though, Fediverse is run by communities and for the users, we should not let these things slide as easily as Corporations do, they're in it to make money, we... We're in it to create a community for the users. Part of that means kicking out those who don't have all our best interests at heart.

The first friday of every month is Fashion Friday! Give us your favourite fashion tips, tell us what you love wearing, or even post a photo!

Quick preface: I thought nanowrimo was this month for a second, so I started typing, thinking I'd do a fictionalized version of myself that came out when her egg cracked instead of waiting 30 years. I was like 3/4ths of the way through the day's word count when I realized I'm off by a month, but writing this was so cathartic that I kept going.

Amber, she thought, would be a good name. The hard part would be getting people to call her that. Or to acknowledge that she was, in fact, a girl.

Amber was moving to Colorado, because the doctor had determined that she was allergic to the entire state of California. Her dad had found a job doing the same things with computers that he always had done, but in Colorado instead, so they moved. A move seemed like a good time for a fresh start, a fresh name, and a fresh gender.

She was scared to tell her parents what was going on, but she was more determined than scared. All she needed to do was to find the right words and the right time. So as they drove through the endless desert, she sat in her seat, staring at the nothing out the back window of the station wagon, and tried to find the words. 'Hey mom and dad, I'm actually a girl and my name is actually Amber.' but that wasn't quite right, there was so much more. And that sounded so defiant, didn't her parents know best when they gave her a boy name and acted like she was a boy? But that wasn't right either, maybe -

Just then the baby woke up and started crying. Mom and Dad stopped their quiet conversation up in front, and Mom called out softly "It's ok Ben, we'll pull over as soon as we get a chance." Right, Amber thought, I have to call him Ben now, because the new baby is on the way, and she'll be the baby, and he'll just be Ben.

But the desert of nothing dragged on and the crying kept escalating, so soon EVERYONE in the car was grumpy. Sally started poking Amber instead of staying on her side of the back seat, and Betsy just kept drawing in her sketchbook, but with one finger in her ear, to try to quiet the noise. Dad finally gave in and pulled over on the side of the freeway, because there hadn't been a sign in five miles.

While Mom took care of Ben, changing his diaper and nursing him, Dad dug out some snacks from somewhere and passed out a handful of GORP to each of the three big kids. "Good ol' raisins and peanuts! Don't just pick the M&Ms out, I don't want to be cleaning all your peanuts out of the car later."

"How much longer will we be in the car?" asked Amber. "Well our hotel is in Salt Lake City, so I think we are more than halfway there." said Dad. "Halfway! Uggggggghhh..." said Amber. She ignored Sally, who had resumed her poking as soon as Dad wasn't looking, and turned to Sugar, her little snow white teddy bear, and pretended to feed him peanuts, which fell directly on the floor of the car. "Can we at least get out and stretch our legs?" asked Sally. "No," answered Dad, "we aren't even at a rest stop, there's just this road and a bunch of prickly plants, no where safe to run. Just... take a nap or read your book or color, we'll be at the hotel before dinner and you can take a swim."

-----

Finally they had made it to the hotel! Hotels were fun because they had a pool, but Amber wasn't as excited about the pool as usual. Her swimsuit was a boys swimsuit, and she felt self-conscious about her chest. Sally's swim suit was bright yellow with red flowers and covered her chest, but Amber's was just dark blue and looked like a pair of shorts. But a pool still sounded good after a long day of sitting still in the car, so she just kinda awkwardly tried to carry her towel in front of her until she got almost to the pool, then dropped off the towel and jumped into the pool in one quick motion, so no one would see. Once she was neck deep in the pool she felt much better about it, so she stayed at that depth and splashed and played with her family and the other kids at the pool.

-----

The drive the next day was much more interesting, the scenery more varied and the mountains loomed. Soon, Amber's dad was driving through tunnels and across bridges and up and down switchbacks, and Amber's mom was trying not to swear at him for driving "too fast" or "too close to the edge". They got out and stretched their legs and the kids got their photograph taken with the big sign that said the Continental Divide, and spit on both sides of the slope, so their spit would end up in both oceans. Amber didn't like getting her photograph taken, because they always looked like some boy instead of how she felt she should look, but she smiled anyway, big and cheesy and forced.

-----

After getting to Denver they drove up to The Rental and all got out. The moving truck was already there, and there were boxes of stuff everywhere. The Rental smelled funny and had weird stained glass windows, and even weeks later, when things had been unpacked, it didn't feel like home. Amber wasn't comfortable, in her skin, or in this house, or with the sights and smells, and she was definitely scared, so she never found time to tell her parents about what was going on. She also was sad, because Sugar's best friend, Oatmeal, a little brown teddy bear, somehow didn't make it to Colorado in the move and was lost forever. Her parents, also, were busy with the new job and putting things in order, and looking for an actual house to move into.

-----

It was always one excuse or another, there was always something going on that kept Amber from speaking up. They moved out of the rental and into a proper home, and then promptly all caught the Chicken Pox. They had met new friends at Church and at Co-op, who took care of them while they recovered, but Amber still felt like no one really knew her, because they called her a boy and didn't use her name, but she still hadn't found time to sit down with her parents and have this very important conversation.

-----

Finally it was her Birthday. She was turning 8 years old today, and her new friends were here, and there was cake and presents... but everything was slightly wrong. The cake had blue icing instead of pink, and had the wrong name on it. She got hotwheels and legos in her presents, when she wanted polly pocket and lego in her presents. When they sang happy birthday, they used a name that fit her body, but not her brain. And all the cards had "birthday boy" instead of "birthday girl." So when she closed her eyes and blew out her candles and made a wish, it was that everyone could see her as she really was.

When she opened her eyes, everything was suddenly right. The cake was pink, the hotwheels were polly pocket, and her big present from her parents was getting her ears pierced. But then she opened her eyes for real, and reality was still good, she was still surrounded by friends and family who love her, but it was all slightly off again. The ice cream was melting and making the cake and the paper bowl both soggy, so she went out in the back yard and played with her friends, pretending to be the puppy while the other girls played house.

-----

A month later and the baby is here! Her name is Gabby and she is a princess. Amber thinks she's so tiny and lovely and she'll love her forever. Grandma flew out from California to take care of the kids while Mom and the baby settle into some kind of routine. Amber likes her other grandma better, because she doesn't make them eat their veggies and gives them extra desert. This grandma says that eating your veggies will "put hair on your chest" but Amber doesn't want that. She is worried that she'll grow up to look like her dad instead of her mom, but doesn't know how to say any of that without offending anyone, and she doesn't offend people, she the good one, the quiet one. Sally is the loud one who offends people.

-----

School starts and Amber has to get up in front of everyone and lie to them, give them a boy's name instead of her own. She was hoping to tell her parents before now, before she had to lie again, but it's so hard to talk about, she doesn't have the vocabulary, and they'll get mad and... she's not even sure how they will respond. She wishes she knew more, like does this happen to everyone or only some people or am I the only girl in the world born into the wrong skin? Can a doctor fix her body with medicine or a preacher fix it with a miracle? Her parents might have answers to these questions, but they get mad about other queer things like this, and I don't want them to get mad at me and stop loving me...

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

Just wanted to put it on your radar in case you didn't know about the show (I only found out about it by accident). I think it's available on Netflix.

The show was written by an enby and the cast includes a trans man and Suzy Eddie Izzard.

Hello cool folks. I have a trans friend in California who might be facing unhoused-ness, and I want to be able to give her resources to help her. I used to know about stuff like the trans couch network from tumblr, but that was ages ago, and I live in the UK now so I only know UK based housing charities.

So: what housing organisations or resources exist in California, specifically the LA area? If any? I feel so out of touch on this side of the pond. I’ll do a Google search as well, but I don’t really trust Google to vet organisations like actual trans folks can.

Alternatively, any advice I can pass along to her would help. I’m trans but I’ve been lucky enough to have secure housing so far, so I feel out of my depth.

I'm a trans woman, and I've been experiencing pretty annoying levels of nausea recently -- like, daily, for a few months. It's not too disruptive, but I get hungry really sporadically, and I spend the rest of the time feeling vaguely queasy. I'm wondering if it's at all related to the drug cocktail I'm on.

I've been on HRT for about 2 years now. I take estradiol (4 mg/day orally) and spironolactone (100 mg/day). I get my hormone levels checked regularly at a clinic. The spiro used to be 50 mg/day, but I had to up the dose after my testosterone levels started creeping back up several months ago.

The T uptick seemingly coincided with when I started taking bupropion for depression. My T levels are back in range, and I've since switched out the bupropion for lamotrigine (a mood stabilizer). But now I have all this nausea.

Despite what I've described, my HRT prescriber and my psychiatrist both insist that this drug combination shouldn't be causing nausea, nor the jump in T levels. So, it's a mystery, and quite a frustrating one. I feel like I'm a big bag of pills that's been shaken up until it's good and dizzy.

Not sure if anyone can relate to this -- how many depressed trans women are there out there, anyway? But if you have any advice, I'm all ears.

This is the summary. It has a link to the full report.

Go to any post on any "relationship advice" community and you'll see people drawing up lines, saying you are the villain or your spouse is the villain. "hit the lawyer, facebook up, delete the gym." Most of the time that isn't helpful, people ask for relationship help because they want help with their relationship, they don't want to end it. Oh sure some people are just looking for a reason to get out of an unhealthy relationship, but why are people so quick to vilify? Divisiveness is not going to solve a relationship problem. I feel like I shouldn't have to start every one of my posts with this kind of disclaimer, but if you look through my post history you'll find me fighting for my wife again and again. She is not the problem, she is part of the solution. My number one goal is to preserve this relationship, fully transitioning comes second to that.

It's not just you all, I see this everywhere. I pointed it out to my wife and now she sees it everywhere. I came out at church and now I'm the villain there, how dare I do this to my wife and kids. Why can't I just "man up" and be what's expected of me?

And when I come out as Christian to my trans friends, my wife is the villain, how dare she hold you back, how dare she not fully embrace her bi nature, insert bi erasure rhetoric here.

Usually I would follow up this kind of caveat with the problem that needs addressed, but in this case, this IS the problem that needs addressed. Constantly having to fight for each other in opposing circles is exhausting, especially when we are asking for help. I don't want to hear "oh your priorities are fucked, transition first then worry about your wife". I'm so tired of asking for help and getting divisiveness. And I don't know what to do.

The two of us sat down with a counselor the other day and we felt seen, at the same time, for the first time. She understood this struggle. I wish she was taking more clients, hopefully the counselor she recommended will be equally excellent. How do we find or make more of these safe spaces, where we can both exist together, without either of us being the villain?

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

The first friday of every month is Fashion Friday! Give us your favourite fashion tips, tell us what you love wearing, or even post a photo!

Hi, me being a bellend asking for help again- Imean, uh, helpfully bringing up that having a place to do that could be cool. Yeah, that. I think somecritters around here were discussing such a thing at some point? squeaks meekly?

(Yapping/story-stuff/rambling/???) ... It'd be real cool if the aid programs around here were implemented more sensibly and responsively :-\ Finally got to see a mental-y health-y help-y critter who sent in the stuff to get me on a cash assistance program but now it's just 🦗 🦗 and Idunno if I'm gonna be able to dispel credit bills this month, dunno what'll happen if I don't. I wonder if I can postpone by proving I have COVID? ... Ugh. I assume there's gonna be some kind of torture if I can't. Have been trying not to think of it 'cause I can't handle shit. Am close to being able to, just that one thing needs to stop with the heel-dragging and I'll be able to scrape by well enough to get help and start a life ([Sarcasm] At 34, which everycritter knows is the best age to be starting to live at) but rrgghhh squeaky-squawky-flaily incoherent critter noises! (End ???)

Anyway, was that place ever a thing? I- er, some critters may need to borrow a buck or something. And a nap. Does anycritter have a nap I can use? I'll give it back after 🤷 [Strange incoherent joke] Can't taste it anyway. Bleh.

(Off-topic) In other news, somehow I've ended up in the pridest freakin' city? Every other weekend there's some kinda pride thing going on @.@ Kinda neat Is'pose 😅 🤷 🐭 😶‍🌫️ skitters quietly away, still squeaking excuses and distractions >.<;

Even if it's a small change in your attitude, what is that one thing you can rely on when having a rough day?

I have a few go to activities I can rely on, but they depend on how much time and energy I have to devote to them.

My favorite and most consistent activity is taking a long shower and shaving every inch of my body. Body hair has always been such a huge source of dysphoria for me since I was a teenager over 15 years ago. Weeeellll before I knew what dysphoria was. I would shave my arms and legs until my friends starting making fun of me for it. Didn't realize it was such a "weird" thing for me to do. I just hated seeing the hair and loved the sensation of smooth skin. 😅

Unfortunately this activity takes me a while if I want to do it right, but goodness do I feel like a new woman when I crawl into bed that night with soft silky skin.

So do you have a similar activity? Is it self care based like like or something different like listening to a favorite music album or watching a comfort show?

All the love, Olivia

Hello, likely other trans person who passed by this spot 👋

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/15865014

> Hi, everyone! So, I'm moving toward going on estrogen in the next year. Before I do that, there are some steps I want to take to prepare. I'm using an at-home IPL machine now for hair removal, and I'd like to get some voice lessons under my belt as well. The main step I want to take next is sperm cryopreservation. My fiancee and I want kids, but I'm not certain it would be a good idea to have a kid during puberty. So, we want to freeze my sperm or our embryos, and I was wondering if ya'll have any resources you could share? I've looked into a few at-home sperm freezing kits, but it's such a big deal to place your fertility in the hands of a company like that and any advice would be much appreciated! <3

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/15864432

> Hello, we were wondering if there were any Peritoneal Pull Through Vaginoplasty surgeons in the UK, or if not or they're not good where would y'all recommend going? > > Not currently seeing the GIC because of long waiting lists, so don't know if that's a concern. We are on hormones though. > > Also, haven't had any other surgeries yet, should we do before consulting them? > > Thanks!

Hey all!

So I'm a cis guy who's only queer in the sense that I'm demisexual heteroromantic. Recently to my surprise, I've gotten into a relationship, and more surprising is the fact that the woman I'm dating is trans. Without coming off the wrong way, I never thought I'd find myself in a relationship with someone who's trans, and thankfully so far it seems as if there isn't a whole lot about dating her that's too different from my previous relationships, putting aside of course that she's easily been the best partner I've had to date.

The thing is, she's still working on her transition. While I think she does an incredible job presenting herself for who she truly is to the world, she's not quite fully at the point where she wants to be just yet with. Namely, she wants to do some work with her voice, and get top surgery.

Now what I want to do of course is be the most supportive partner I can be and help her with getting to where she wants to be. She mentioned that she has a lot of trouble with voice training, and in looking things up online, I came across voice feminization surgery. I brought it up to her, and she seems to have really appreciated me telling her about it.

In terms of top surgery, I've been looking into it, and was looking into the different types of implants available. I read that silicone implants apparently feel the most natural and comparable to regular developed breasts, and while I want to give her all the options available, I also think that silicone would likely be the best option of the different types for that reason, especially since she's questioned her validity as a woman before and I want her to feel like and be her true self.

However, I've been reflecting a bit. While I'm happy to explore these things and learn more about them to try and help her find what's best for her, I also don't want her to get the wrong idea of things. While it hasn't been the case to date that she's taken things this way, even specifically telling me she appreciates what I'm doing, I also worry about either getting potentially too involved in her personal life, giving the wrong idea that I'm making suggestions based on my own interests rather than hers, or that I might lead her make a decision where the end result doesn't match the person she is and wants to fully be.

What can I do as a partner for her who's cis to best assist her with her journey in transitioning? Where should my place be in supporting her through her journey? How can I prevent myself from making a good-intentioned suggestion that might not end up being the most affirming thing for her? How can I ensure that I'm giving her all the information she needs accurately, without unknowingly pushing options that might not work best for her?

Thanks in advance, I'll be sure to start responding once I wake up and will take any criticism and critique as needed.

Hello, everyone. Hopefully I'm not doxxing myself too badly if I reveal that I live in Japan, which is not a great place for trans healthcare.

The standards of care here are still from the stone age, and date from a prosecution under Japan's widely reviled eugenics laws (fortunately repealed in... 1996). Yes, that's right: the guidelines themselves state they're to protect medical practitioners.

The key requirement is to jump through enough hoops to convince your doctor that you really do know what you want, and then do it all again with another doctor, just in case the first one was biased towards the patient. The hoops include, potentially, genital exams, karotypes, interviews with family and coworkers, and RLE. There's no set timeframe, but six months to a year seems to be the standard. Only then can you access any gender-affirming care, including HRT.

Now fortunately there is a loophole. Any treatment started outside the scope of the guidelines can be taken over by the evaluating doctor concurrent with the inquisition. And, as it happens, I'm not personally bound to follow anything.

So, with the sound of a month's supply of my new favorite hormones in convenient gel form hitting the mailbox, I'm ready to start DIY! Hopefully my doctor (who I'm due to see for the first time in October) will be cooperative. From the sound of it a lot of people are using the same trick...

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/15424151

> So today we finally got around to reading the instructions for some of our patches (Estradot) and realised they say not to put them in the fridge (or freezer but we wouldn't put patches in the freezer anyway). We took them out but they have been in there for months. > > Are they ruined or less effective? > > We started doing it because our other patches (Evorel) denatured once a while ago, and wanted to avoid the same fate with these ones since it's been a hot summer and have nowhere really cool to store them since we are on the top floor of a building and thus it gets very hot up here, even in our drawers. > > So we are wondering what exactly is the problem with them being in the fridge and are they ineffective now or will they be okay now that they're in the a drawer and hopefully stay cool for the rest of the month? > > We have left our other patches (Evorel) in the fridge as they don't say not to.

I've noticed that when I used to see myself in pictures I'd hyper assess every little detail of it to check for passing. Now when I see myself in pictures I don't do that anymore. Anybody else notice the same thing?