YO, my mom did this to me! In fact I figured a lot of this shit out when I found r/raisedbynarcissists. I saw a lot of people there claimed to be on the spectrum which I thought was pretty weird. So I follow the rabbit hole and I learn about PTSD, CPTSD and I start seeing a therapist about it. Turns out she just didn't want to be responsible for fucking up her kid.
112Is it not common for people with autism to develop cptsd though? It could be possible you have both right?
32No it's more likely that my emotionally and financially abusive car stealing, gaslighting, steal-money-out-of-my-wallet-while-I'm-sleeping parent just didn't want to be held accountable for her shitty "parenting." Also the multiple expert evaluations that say I'm not diagnosably autistic. But I guess I should listen to the guy that analyzes people's mental health based on a four sentence internet post uninvited, right?
28Do you have evidence that that would be more or less common than the other relevant comparisons (i.e., everyone, and people raised by shitty parents)?
If you don't, the "possible" argument is blind speculation, and that's inappropriate in these situations. Many things are possible in this world, my friend, but we mostly care about what's probable and then what's true
2
The same thing happened to me. I did not know it is a common thing! I was told I am autistic, but it turns out I have CPTSD. I think telling me I was autistic it was just an easy was to blame the ways in which I responded to being traumatised on me again.
4
turns out my whole family is toxic as *hit because we all have adhd or autism, i have both. dad is autistic, mom has adhd.
i am the only one diagnosed with treatment.
i blocked half of my family, for good reason.
42You can say shit on the internet. If you're gonna self censor just don't use the word at all ffs
64Oh that's what it is. I read that as "hit" and kept looking for the closing '*'. That is so fucking annoying.
10I mean, I understand what you're saying and it is true here on lemmy, but it is absolutely not the case that you don't have to self-censor on the internet. I mean, you can choose to not to, but some systems will just never show your contribution to the conversation to anyone (ex. tiktok, Facebook, YouTube, etc). So people practice self-censorship to engage with those platforms and then it becomes a part of their online vocabulary.
So, you don't need to self-censor here on lemmy, but you also shouldn't give anyone flak for doing so.
Umm, ffs, if I used that right.
-8
Similar story here. Asperger's runs on both of my parents' sides of the family. In addition Dad has ADHD and mom has BPD. I ended up with the Autism+ADHD combo with sprinkling of CPTSD on top. I don't even know where the neurological problems end and the psychological problems begin.
Have not talked to either in well over a decade.
9I read that adhd families are way often structured in very unhealthy was than you might think.
my theory is, that my siblings and my mom don't want to get diagnosed, because then they had to accept that they are defective; the are living the delusion that all their countless adhd problems are somebodies elses fault.
they can never break out of that thinking.
8
if the microplastics cause neurodivergence how the fuck would we ever know
9Permanently Deleted
5
I thought I was the only one! I really did not know that this is something that happens more often.
My mother managed to convince her psychiatrist to diagnose me with autism when I was 13. He told me that I had autism and that if I did not get treated, I would be alone forever and I would never be able to make friends. He also called it a handicap. No treatment was started, there was no help or anything after that. The psychiatrist told me and I never saw him again. My mother told everyone around her I was autistic and they all felt very bad for her, including me. I felt really sad she had me for a daughter and I hated myself for being who I was. I also was bullied in school and I thought it was my own fault because I was autistic and therefore I did stuff that made others bully me. I was the one in the wrong and it was just a response to that, I felt.
Turns out I am not autistic at all. Like, I had it checked out thoroughly and there was no doubt about it. I actually an able to emphasise with others better than average etc. I also have some really close friends, which I made once I was able to leave home. I do have CPTSD though from severe emotional neglect and psychological abuse.
It is so weird to see similar stories here. I know my social skills are fine, but I still feel insecure about my social functioning. I am always looking for stuff I might do wrong that confirms that I am autistic after all. I also still feel like something is fundamentally wrong with me and as if my existence is somehow an enormous burden for others. (This is not how I feel about autistic people, but it is how I was made to feel about myself by that diagnosis.) It is a feeling that is very difficult to change.
37It's easier for shitty parents to blame anyone but themselves
14Yes, definitely. I did have a lot of symptoms of trauma as a child, in hindsight. This provided an explanation for that in which my parents weren't blamed for it and it was just all on me again.
4
I got constant anxiety attacks about how my mom will react to anything.
22Are you still in that situation or do you mean that that happened in the past? For me it got better once I left home. Although I was still in contact with her. Now it is much better, because I only occasionally have contact with her and only via text. It took me years to get there, but I did. I hope you do too if you have not already.
2Yes and no. Right now I am kind of dependent on her because the last two jobs I had both went under so I am unemployed. She helps me and I need it. But at the same time I feel like its more of a control thing. I love her, but I cannot deny how she makes me feel whenever I make the tiniest mistake and she basically blamed me for those companies shitting the bed.
3
thats a trauma response
2
