1 yr. ago • 96%

So Jesus is fossil fuel?

22 comments

I'm sure he wouldn't mind turning a tank full of water in to alcohol. Let's find out.

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- I mean, it was his mother who convinced him on the first place.
  
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- Or maybe the driver's Catholic.
  
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- At the end of the Bible, Jesus is said to have ascended to heaven. For Jesus to power the vehicle he would have had to die and been buried.
  
  Ironically this person may be saying the Bible isn’t true, he didn’t ascend, he was human like us and died like us and became part of the carbon cycle like us.
  
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- he was a zombie, and no other zombies have survived for the fossil and archaeological record. so... eaten by other zombies? yes or no.
  
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jesussoarus rex

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The power of christ propels you!

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Ohh so God created the Dinosaurs after all...

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- “And the Winchester rifle to protect man from them and the homosexuals”
  
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If Jesus is fossil fuel, that makes him a dead dinosaur, if he used to be a dinosaur, christians don't have any arguments against evolution (not like they had some before tho)

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- Surely you've heard of Raptor Jesus.
  
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How much horsepower is Jesus producing?

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Maybe he turned water into ethanol?

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Dinos turn into oil. Why wouldn't Christ?

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- Not enough time has passed for that process yet
  
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No no, religion is bullshit, sooo methane?

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Unsustainable, dwindling, archaic resource, so yea

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No, see, Jesus is the illegal immigrant worker that uses bike pedals to power the Flux Capacitor. The engine still runs on ordinary gasoline. Except they don't believe in science so they're Flux Capacitor is just 3 silly straws with uninsulated wires running through them.

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Is that car brand sold in the U$?

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Jesus has gas.

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Some people worse fossil fuels like they're Jesus 🤷

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