Protect Your Dick Data
Protect Your Dick Data
cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/3669136
That's why I invest in wireless, RFID resistant, anti-flash dick screening devices. Wake up sheeple!
39But does it need to be tamper proof as well?
1Its not just tamper proof, it's future proof!
One day they'll want to manually inspect your cock before getting on a plane.
Well I'm sorry Mr. TSA, my WMD is none of your business.
2
Genuinely though, it would not surprise anymore. We have subscription based cars selling your info to insurance companies, retroactively ammended purchase experiences everywhere, and every dang app and website harvesting as much info on you as physically possible no matter how mundane.
Dick info reporting toilets would not at all catch me by surprise at this point.
61Dick info reporting seems pointless but they can add an advert screen above the urinal (which is sadly becoming common) and track your eye movement to record engagement rates.
7
this is why I exclusively pee in the dumpster being dairy queen
55Why is the dumpster being dairy queen?
5Dumpster is obviously a dairy king.
2
Don't fast food restaurants usually have a camera pointed at their dumpster? XD
2I find the Whataburger dumpsters are more roomy
2
Damn. They are automating penis inspection day? What are creeps to do now?
28We're suffering... How do you expect me to feed my family when I have to compete with HAL here?
3Automation stealing our jobs again. My grandpa was a penis inspector. He worked long, hard hours to put three kids through school and food on the table.
1
real shit, these things are mechanical turks. they really are cameras that are live streaming to centers in third world countries. when the poorly paid operator sees you're done, he sends the flush signal to the toilet. if you've ever been in a bathroom where the "sensor is broken" and it seems to flush at random, it's because they just keep flushing it periodically if they can't get a visual. real truth
18We were just training AI flushers this whole time?
3
"No data collected, subject not big enough to register. "
25glad I'm not alone here.
4
Good luck, I encrypted my dick data.
26
13All is fine, but I'm still curious: how many do you have?
5at least one. at most nine.
2
Jokes on them. They're gonna need a longer lens.
12(awkwardly long zooming noises)
8
What does matter is length times diameter plus weight over girth divided by angle of the tip squared.
18I have so many questions. Are you measuring angle from the vertical or the horizontal? Whereabouts should I be placing the ruler for that tangent? Are we using metric or imperial units? If metric, is it square centimetres or kilograms per cm, and if it's imperial, is it square inches or ounces per inch per square degree?
3
My pp information is public, Im not hiding anything - what are you people hiding??
11Dick pics or it didn't happen!
1834x28x16 @ 400 p.s.i. is that enough information for you?
16Sorry, but no, you forgot duration it took to void, stream color, taste, smell, accuracy, flow consistency, body hair grooming, presence and degree of curvature, and overall hygiene. We've gone ahead and shared your supplied data with our 1869 advertising and heathcare partners. Thank you for opting in! We will continue to collect data at all of our established locations and now through your personal cell phone! Have a nice day!
12400 psi? Damn you could piss the paint off your house with that thing
8At 400 pixels per square inch, 34x28x16 isn't measurements I would have shared on lemmy.
2
How else would we keep the girls out of the mens room? I personally am willing to give up a little privacy if it means protection from A foreign government, besides you don’t have anything to worry about as long as you have a dick, and to those arguing that those of us with smaller than average members might get thrown in prison unjustly I say just grow a bigger slong, Besides are people with small penis really men? I mean yeah technically it’s on there birth certificate but come on.
11Small penises are a lifestyle choice
6
Jokes on them, my dick information is already all over the web!
5LMAO, jokes on them not going to be able to see mine without a microscope.
10I care a lot about my prickvacy!
11"Not looking, not looking at your penis at all. " ... "So sorry about your penis." [Little Britain]
3Error: Please make sure your junk fills up the entire target area for accurate data collection.
6ooo so that's why they never seem to work, makes so much sense now! /j
3Mines already out in the open
1They just forgot the cookie banner
3The only person that has the right to know what my pp burns like is me!
2There can be only one.
1Ngl you gonna need a bigger one
1