My friends expect me to pay for things for them because I'm wealthy. Am I wrong to think they should just work harder?
My friends expect me to pay for things for them because I'm wealthy. Am I wrong to think they should just work harder?
"For Love & Money" answers your relationship and money questions. This week, a reader's partner isn't willing to stop scrimping on every purchase.
When I was a young kid, one of the few things my mother was very strict about was her rule that I must never ask people outside the family for presents. Acting in a way that made it clear I wanted a present without explicitly saying so was forbidden too.
She was stricter about this than about "don't bring snakes in the house" and she was not a fan of snakes.
6... How often did the snake thing come up?
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The advice in the article is top notch. Identifies toxic attitudes and recommends ditching such. Identifies non-toxic attitudes and recommends compassion and acceptance.
I have more than a lot of my peers. I’ve also been broke, unemployed, and foraging for fruit to augment my meal of a baked potato and dumpster diving without success at bakeries. Now that I’m better off, I try to be generous about paying for drinks with friends but I feel absolutely no obligation to do so. I like being nice but it’s not something I would respond well to if pressured. Fortunately, my friends are great people and it’s never been an issue.
13This is usually why people usually end up with friends that are some what in the same financial situation.
43Yes. However, that doesn't mean you should pay for them. Unless offered, they shouldn't expect you to pay.
44Not sure how this is a boring dystopia worthy. First, the friend sounds like leech and isn't worth keeping. Then the writer trying to better themselves and get lectured in the way they needed to be, not the way they want it.
Is it boring dystopia that someone got tired to be leeched on or is it boring dystopia that someone is wealthy? Like the columnist said:
Try a little empathy
13The article itself is not a bad read and does not present a boring dystopia to me.
Yes, the person asking the question comes off as a little out of touch (they “inherited and invested” their wealth). Their concern reads to me like a self consciousness that is enhancing any perceived resentment from their friends, but the answer given to their question makes some good points about living with friends who have more (or less) than you do.
29Meh, those aren't friends.
Those are people who are only hanging around you because buy them shit.
There's a lot of terms for those people, but friends ain't it.
18I remember as a kid I went to my friends house every sunday.
One sunday, the whole neighborhood of kids was on his front porch.
I had brought my spiderman toys. I had a big box of them. My friend and I liked sharing toys.
As I was approaching his front porch, one of the kids yelled "AAAAHHHH!!!! IT'S LOST_MY_MIND!!! RUN!!!!"
And they all scattered, including my friend. Then that same kid yelled "WAIT!!! HE HAS TOYS!!!" And they all ran up to me.
I can't say thats the lowest I've ever felt in my childhood, but that's only because I've lived through a mother abandoning me, cancer, 17 car crashes, kidney stones, an abusive alchoholic father, being an athiest in a catholic school, 9/11, being cheated on by the woman I thought I was marrying, and losing various other people in my life that I was close to over the years.
But for most people, who haven't had shit lives, it would probably be the worst feeling in the world. Knowing the people around you only care because you have material items they want. (And in the case of that kid, wanted to literally steal from me)
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