Fellow Americans, which family member are you not looking forward to seeing for Thanksgiving that you know will bring up politics?
Fellow Americans, which family member are you not looking forward to seeing for Thanksgiving that you know will bring up politics?
Probably my girlfriend's mother. Her family lives in a remote part of Y'allistan kinda country. According to my gf they used to be quite moderate and intelligent but since moving (for better land to run their family business) her mom has become very isolated and feeds off nothing but Fox/OANN and whatever shit YouTube recommends. She's become such an abortion hating, trans hating, gay hating person in only the last three or four years that even my girlfriend says she barely recognizes her sometimes.
This is my first Thanksgiving with her family after 2 years together, and depending on how it goes it might be close to the last, we're not sure.
48If you haven't already seen it, watch The Brainwashing of My Dad. It is a short documentary about this kind of experience that's worth the quick watch
12The best way to handle it is to laugh about it. She makes some remark about trans or gays, just laugh or smile as if it was a joke or as if she is drunk and stupid. :)
It feels much better for the soul. Don't fight her. She will have those opinions either way.
Each person has their own development journey. You don't blame a kid for throwing up on the floor. Just relax and accept whatever happens.
If you do this, you will grow as a person and realize there is another way to handle conflict that feels quite good. :)
Another way to handle it is the stoic stare. You just look at her quietly when she says things without saying anything. Just keep eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time to make a point, making the others around the table notice the bad vibes and get uncomfortable. Personally I think this is harder to pull off in a setting with many people, so I prefer the first one.
-1Except, she is not a child. She is a grown person who votes and supports opinions that will get vulnerable people killed. This are both very childish ways of handling conflict.
stares blankly at you for an uncomfortable long time without speaking
13
Oog - my little brother.
He's a walking stereotype of a tech libertarian (which is to say, a shallow, bigoted, reactionary, right-wing IT guy who for some inexplicablec reason seems to think that all that's necessary to count as "libertarian" is to rail against "the woke mob.")
The first time I heard the term "mansplaining," I knew exactly what it meant, because it's his customary mode of communication. I already know that by about the third time I hear him say, " Well, what you have to understand is that..." I'm going to have to leave the room.
He likely won't bring up politics directly - not surprisingly, he's generally ignorant of both the philosophical side of it and the practical side of it. Instead, he'll bloviate about whatever the right-wing/tech media bubble is bloviating about, so essentially political issues without the complication of political context.
It's invariably awful, and it's always a matter not of if but merely of when I'm going to have to leave the room because the only alternative is going to be a messy verbal explosion. And I presume it's going to be worse than ever this year, since he'll undoubtedly want to mansplain the mindless dogma he's been fed about Trump and Musk and Ukraine and tariffs and immigrants and trans athletes and so on...
44My parents called tonight and asked if they could come on Thursday, I am NOT looking forward to seeing my hyper-christian Maga supporting white-Nationalist parents, and neither are my very sensible, LQTBQ+ supporting children and their partners, and spouses. Tomorrow, I have to call and tell them that any nonsense, or statements like the ones that were made at the last event we were at will be met by asking them to leave. Yay.
35Report back soldier when its over!
9What did they say last time, spill the tea!
6
I'm staying home this year for this exact reason.
34Similar boat. We aren't even seeing my wife's family because her mom is getting back together with her MAGA ex-husband and my wife just doesn't want to be a part of that
6
Thankfully not thanksgiving, but Christmas it will be my father... That whole side of the family really. Even my super religious grandmother chimes in with "the immigrants bring in disease!"
For a group of people that can love their family, they're all filled with so much hate for "others." :/
30Ain't no love like Christian love
10
Fortunately, my family all died off in the pandemic. We were all liberal, and they'd be horrified by the state of things. I'm grateful they don't have to experience any of this.
25My mom would be devastated to see that they let the orange fucker do it again.
23
It's my house. Everyone in the family knows I'll shut that shit down, so I look forward to seeing everyone 😁
23Take your pick.
- The brother who was fired from his job as a prison guard for being too racist. He's told me on more than one occasion that he's smarter than any black person he's ever met... he's dropped out of college multiple times and now works for a convenience store along with "being his own boss" for MLM, selling shit door-to-door (yes, he will be trying to sell stuff at holiday gatherings).
- The aunt who's sure that Obama was, in fact, the antichrist mentioned in the Book of Revelations. She believes that queer people are all pedophiles who can convert children and others to "their ways." Oddly though... not a Trump supporter, because DJT "let that beautiful daughter of his marry a Jew."
- The cousin who is a flat earther and won't shut up about how the Jews run everything with their power tied (somehow) directly to convincing everyone that the planet isn't flat. His wife tried to get him to cut ties with the family because we don't go to their church which is all of about 100 people and based out of a partially abandoned strip mall.
They've all been ostracized by family in the past, but keep getting invited to stuff.
22This is the 3rd year I will be completely alone.
22You can come to my house if you want
We're having lasagna
21If you are driving distance I am there.
1You forgot to tell me the address.
1
You're never all alone. We're here you you
0Still alone...
1
I'm not sure what you're talking about. I love talking about politics. Oh wait, I think I'm that family member.
19You mean the people I was forced to experience my childhood and early adulthood with? Not seeing them at all.
They got themselves kicked to the curb long ago. Mom died 13 years ago, which greatly improved my life. Dad died this past May and I didn't even go to the funeral. Middle brother came out as an Oathbreaker, keeper or whatever those idiots call themselves. Oldest brother has always been a narcissistic asshat and I haven't spoken to him in almost a decade.
Nuclear war between nations is a terrible thing that should never happen.
Nuclear war on toxic relationships is the best thing ever.
18I have no problem discussing politics, but under no circumstances will I ever willingly break bread with someone who voted for Trump. You want to talk about education reform? Economic policy? Foreign policy? No problem. But if you were dumb or hateful enough to vote for that shitstain, you're dead to me. I don't truck with Nazi scum.
16Your comment really highlights the shit state of political discourse and general culture in this country.
Discussing actual policies comes across like a leftist circle jerk because the people have decided that “fuck everything and everybody” is a valid political platform.
6Not 'fuck everything and everybody'. Just fuck everybody who decided that they wanted to vote for a man who is a serial rapist, a traitor, a convicted felon, a misogynist, a pedophile, an imbecile, and a con man. There are tens of millions of people who decided to vote for him, and I say fuck literally every single one of those people. Awful human beings, the lot of them.
Edit: upon reflection, I believe that I may have misunderstood the point you were making.
5
What about Harris voters, who also support genocide?
I totally get not wanting to break bread with Nazis. But to sit with Harris supporters and not Trumpers projects more concern with vibes than actual policies and outcomes. You’re just showing a preference for blue Nazis over red ones at that point.
-17Most Harris voters are just anti-Trump voters.
They could have voted for someone who doesn't support the Gazan genocide, but the moment they do, surprise surprise first-past-the-post two-party system strikes again, and their third party vote is counted in favour of Trump.
Good job third-party voters, you've successfully wasted a vote that could have been used strategically for the lesser of the two evils, so now you get the greater evil.
1
None. We have made politics a taboo subject at dinner. We know we don’t agree (older generations vs younger) and would rather converse about things we enjoy like the grandkids etc.
14None, I am intentionally not seeing my family for Thanksgiving.
12My aunt.
It’s not her politics (they’re awful, but she at least keeps them quiet). It’s more that she’s a combination of excessively chatty and dull.
She will talk about absolutely nothing for hours on end.
11Got to hang out with the hard-r racist uncle, my 'pretends she a smart bible reader that hasn't fallen for 4 different(in name) pyramid scams' military sister, and my mentally disabled but violently aggressive brother that may have figured out that the cops will go easy on him every time.
These people wonder why I dread family gatherings and can't function socially.
9Be yourself, accept your family into your heart, and try to help them.
Show your racist uncle that whatever he dislikes about other races is also true for the supposed superior race, and that the things that make certain races seem inferior could be explained in other ways, like cultural issues (like racism).
Help your sister find passages in the Bible that speak to pyramid schemes, scams, gullibility, and remind her that her focus should not be on whatver these schemes are but on her Jesus and her salvation, and thank her for her service.
As much as you may hate dealing with people like this, I kinda think it's the only way to help people. You have to build relationships with people that you dont agree with, search for good values in people and try to salvage them, pull them out of their tail spin.
My very imperfect father, whom I love and respect, has been a Trump supporter for a very long time and so any time a conversation can turn political, it does, and we all have to hear about the Democrat boogiemans and Trump the savior. As soon as it turns that way, even if I agree with his points or whatver, I just "oh shit here we go again" and what happens is, everyone in the room starts laughing because we all feel the same way. After a few of these I think he gets it, and I'll talk with him about his ideas around Democrats and Trump, but in a curious way, and I'll agree where we agree, and I'll challenge him where I disagree. Sometimes we have to agree to disagree, I learn more about his perspective and we carry on.
Everyone on Earth is flawed and all we have is each other. I am so thankful for the people in my life that invested in me and I want to do the same for others.
Thank you for reading my TED talk.
2
I'm skipping Thanksgiving because my whole family has become brainwashed magats.
Even the ones I thought could never be that fuckin stupid.
9We're going out of town so our DIL doesn't have to make up an excuse for not spending it with her fam.
8I have thanksgiving with only my wife and kids.
Then I have Friendsgiving, with a few friends and their family.
I haven't seen my family in years except for video calls. Same for my kids, and wife and kids. Not that I dislike them. Or would be opposed to them staying in the same town.
My family members are toxic, and after I moved, we never bothered.
I think more people should do that.
8Myself
7I’m sure the more conservative members of my extended family will be angry and complaining about the world or how much money other people have or whatever.
And I’ll probably be in my usual spot, in the other room with the kids, playing video games or watching dumb funny videos.
7We skip and do friendsgiving instead. And all our friends are on the same political side
7All of them. They are literally neonazis but with black and white switched. They would say "black lives matter" while beating up a black Jewish person. I hate my family.
7This was a significant factor in my deciding not to go see my sister and my brother-in-law this year. He's something else. Sweet man most the time, but full-on Maga.
6He’s something else. Sweet man most the time, but full-on Maga.
this is something I can't comprehend - how do they turn the hate on and off?
2They never see it to begin with.
2
Brazillian, but my uncle follows bolsonaro. 😭
5i spend time with my real family, my partner and child. don't need that negativity ✌🏻
5I can think of one or two but thankfully I’m doing Friendsgiving this year.
4asterisk
4Me. I'm the family member.
4A sister that is a traditional conservative and brother that is a centrist liberal, they argue in talking points and both of their solutions are usually unrealistic garbage. It's a big family though so most just leave the room when they get going.
4Most of them since we don't do thanksgiving where I'm from
3We all good. My brother leans hard right and is super racist but he's also got the 'tism and we all know it, so we talk mad shit to his face when he starts up.
It's hard to take a guy seriously when he worships someone that would have sent him to the gas chambers.
3Family? What's that?
3My uncle potentially, he may not bring it up (which would be nice) but still on edge about the potential of an argument. He's been dragging down my kid cousin to be just like him too. Even if there was an argument I know I'm not going to have any backup from the rest of my family as they're all leaning the same way, they're just more softly spoken and worried about 'civility' and wouldn't say the worst of it out loud.
2Avoiding most family this year, spending it with those I'm close with instead.
2Even my corrupted parents aren't planning on a Thanksgiving visit because of how toxic the family is.
The writing is on the wall.
2Yo momma
-2