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The Picard Maneuver @lemmy.world

2d ago

Gotta catch 'em all

41 comments

Reminder that you can achieve a free X Attack by taking away their iPad.

Usually frowned upon.
- We need more genius comedy like Gravity Falls.

If you want the same thing but for the remainder of your life, get a bird. Parrots are basically flying mischievous toddlers with beam cutters on their faces that never grow out of the toddler mentality.
- When I was a kid, our neighbors had parrots.
  One late afternoon my mom hears my baby sister crying in her room. Gets up. Checks on her. Sleeping soundly in her bed.
  Half an hour later. Crying again. Same thing, my sister is sleeping
  This happened a couple times
  Took a couple days for my mom to figure out that one of the parrots learned to imitate my crying sister perfectly, and she could hear it when my neighbor had his windows open
  
  My grandma once told me about a budgie they had back before I was born. It apparently was actively trolling them by mimicking sounds of their doorbell and landline phone.
  Don't make a mistake, they know perfectly fine which sounds grab our attention and they will abuse this knowledge.
- When I was a child, my best friend's mom had a parrot named Ricky. It either hated or loved me, I was never sure; either way, I was terrified of it and preferred not to go near it.
  As an adult, I once walked out to my car to find a parrot perched on my windshield wiper. I only had that parrot one night (in no way was I prepared to house a bird, I took it to an exotic bird shelter the next day), but it was much kinder than Ricky. Strangely, it did not like our cats
  
  Every parrot has a personality, that's for sure! You're a kind person for having helped that bird, I hope that good deed came back (or will come back) to you

Well yeah, first you have to level it up to 8 or so and then you can enroll it in fighting school
- There's no professor to study it and take it either.
  
  That's why I became a martial arts instructor.
  So I could kick toddlers without it being frowned upon.
  
  Daycare and candy works though!

Why is this image tilted?
- Better? 😉
- A toddler put it there
- Are you sure you're not leaning slightly?
- It’s got KFC logo syndrome.
- You're right, it's kind of shifted on its Praxis
  
  First I was confused, Butt then I realised this was fairly funny indeed 👏

Waah, why is the picture slightly tilted? O.o
- I guess to circumvent reposting detection/guidelines on some platform

Also capturing wild toddlers and keeping them in tiny spherical prisons is frowned on.
- That's a strange way to describe pregnancy.
  
  Get back in that womb! Don't make me count

Toddler uses crying.
It's very effective!

Sounds like my dog. I've always said that that dog is like an eternal toddler.
- Yea i've found that I have limited tolerance for both toddlers and dogs for very similar reasons.

Toddler uses bite. It's super effective!

Ash Ketchum certainly has a different flavor in this version of the world.

Toddler wants to learn Walking

https://people.com/crime/alleged-toddler-fight-club-children-were-bored/

They are both worth it, after some time.

so dodgeball is defense training?
- If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

Mall playgrounds are gyms

41 comments