penny auctions

If you tried that today, someone online would come in and buy up that property. We have no defense against monetary predators like we used to.

I'd think banks probably just have a reserve price these days (a minimum price they'll accept on the property).
- "In other news an auctioneer was beaten to death by a mob of farmers today after not accepting a bid."
- Exactly. Auctions usually have a starting bid.
Pretty much this. Penny auctions worked because you had to physically be in the room, which means it's far easier for your friends and neighbors with guns and other implements of violence to tell the bank rep "hey maybe you should sit this one out bud" when they show up.
You know, because of the implication.
- "Are these bidders in any danger?"
  "Yes"
- Mac: “It’s foolproof, dude!—nobody’ll bid when see my sweet ninja moves!”
  Charlie: “Yeah, and I’ll huff some paint to really sell the unhinged vibe!”
  Dee: “How will that help?”
  Dennis: “Because, Sweet Dee… of the implication.”
- Always funny to see mob mentality suddenly justified when it's for the "right" (subjective) reason.
~~someone~~
A multi billion dollar conglomerate you mean.
Strange, ever since that oligarch brought that land it keeps catching fire.
Sure we do. We just need a lot more of this:
Come on down and check out your new property!

A naive libertarian might see the anti-competitive auction as fair.

Someone with awareness of history might note the unfair laws which led to banks wresting land from farmers. Then realize that nothing was fair.

“Hey I’ve got the papers, whether it is just or legal really isn’t my problem and I’m sorry for your situation anyway give me the farm.”
“Hey be that as it may the whole community has decided that whoever takes this farm is going to get hit with a bunch of ax-handles.”
“Unfair, injustice”

Lol. Lmao, even.

Unfortunately, banks plan for this tactic anymore.

That's a very weird way to try to use "anymore".
- the fact that you don't have a positive version of anymore except for approximations like nowadays is the problem. other languages have a word for "from a certain point on" that can be used in both positive and negative sense.
  you have no longer which also functions like anymore but I can't think of an opposite for that either.
  from now on is the only thing I can think of that can be used in both senses but that's only useful for specific times (you could say from then on too, but the then has to be specified).
  there's clearly a need for it so people use anymore in a positive sense. why not.
- https://ygdp.yale.edu/phenomena/positive-anymore
- I’ve seen this come up before. It is apparently a regional thing.
Banks do this fuckin tactic now

I wonder if there were times when someone was a terrible neighbour and the nearby farmers just refused to help. Like, say some dude who got drunk and didn't take care of his land so he had pests who infested nearby farms. Or he borrowed equipment from the neighbours and didn't return it, or returned it broken.

Imagine an auction like that where a guy thinks his neighbours are going to prevent people from bidding, but instead they bid to take his farm because they hate him so much.

Reminds me of that case of the guy getting murdered in broad daylight, and every eyewitness saying they saw nothin'
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ken_McElroy
Imagine being such a piece of work that several dozen people independently decide not to help with your murder investigation... ~~and still managing to find a wife~~
Of course that story is awful too, I should have guessed
- and still managing to find a wife
  Um... Well, he didn't exactly "find a wife" in the way most people do.
  He met his last wife, Trena McCloud (1957–2012), when she was 12 years old and in eighth grade and he was 35. He raped McCloud repeatedly. McCloud's parents initially opposed the relationship, but McElroy threatened them into agreement by burning down the house and shooting the family dog.
  "Relationship" is doing a LOT of heavy lifting there.
I suspect it was a small enough community that they could deal with those people without much problem.

"bid starts at X amount" is something they were too stupid for?

Starting amounts don't apply when you have a mob of farmers willing to kill you if you don't take the 50 cents.
So, nobody bids, bank still has land they can't use and no money, auctioneer gets shot in his sleep.
- Would never work today, of course. Redfin or Zillow would take any offer.

Now every property bid has a hold and its a waste of everyone's time.

Yet another way that telecommunications have ruined the world. Can't intimidate some semisentient business casual wear headquartered in Franktown, CO and located fuck knows where

All I can think of is knock knock Penny! Knock knock Penny! Knock knock Penny!

Z I M B A B W E