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Rant: I hate the term “normie”.

Let me preface by saying, I would love to hear counter points and am fully open to the fact that I could be wrong and totally out of touch. I just want to have some dialogue around something that’s been bothering me in the fediverse.

More and more often I keep hearing people refer to “normies”. I think by referring to other people as “normies”, whether you intend to or not, you inadvertently gatekeep and create an exclusive environment rather than an inclusive one in the fediverse.

If I was not that familiar with the fediverse and decided to check it out and the first thing I read was a comment about “normies”, I would quite honestly be very put off. It totally has a negative connotation and doesn’t even encapsulate any one group. I just read a comment about someone grouping a racist uncle and funny friend into the same category of normie because they aren’t up to date on the fediverse or super tech savvy or whatever.

I don’t want to see any Meta bs in the fediverse. I barely want to see half of the stuff from Reddit in the fediverse. I don’t want to see the same echo chamber I do everywhere else.

I do want to see more users and more perspectives and a larger user base though. I want to see kindness and compassion. I want to talk to people about topics they are interested in. I want to have relevant discussions without it dissolving into some commentary on some unrelated hot topic thing.

I think calling people normies creates a more toxic, exclusive place which I personally came here to avoid.

Just my two cents! I know for most people using the term it isn’t meant to be malicious, but I think it comes off that way.

Love to hear all of your thoughts.

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151 comments
  • Or....

    "Normie" shows a hint of self awareness that the people on this platform aren't representative of the general public. We're a bunch of tech weirdos.

    We're the "abnormies".

    100
  • nah, you're right

    the term always gives me images of channer culture; like it reminds me when the internet as a whole thought that 4chan and its ilk were cool and elite for being shitty for "lulz"

    it needs to be retired

    28
  • Like everything else context matters

    16
  • I just see the term to mean the opposite of specialist, or someone who is passionate about the topic.

    In internet terms, it generally means not a geek.

    It's a good distinction, because for geeks, internet is something inherently interesting on a technological and philosophical level. For, well, normies, it's just an appliance they don't need to know much about.

    Similarly if you go to a car show but don't really know shit about cars other than they have 4 wheels, you're a normie in that environment. Your requirements on what a car should be like, are fundamentally different from someone who likes to tweak and tinker.

    I wish the term could just mean that without any negative connotations, because I don't see anything wrong with that distinction.

    Ed/add: Nobody can know everything about every topic, so everyone is a normie in some category. Usually without realising it. So that's just it. Not necessarily an insult, and doesn't even make much sense as one, I think.

    16
  • I think lots of people who use “normie” unironically are creating an us vs them mentality. It’s not malicious, it’s often how they see the world. People who are “abnormal” are often othered in the world and pushed away. This is a way for others to take back being the “out” group in a little way that makes you feel less out of place.

    I’m guilty of it in other facets of my life.

    13
  • To me it means “not a computer dork”. I always interpreted it as somewhat self-deprecating.

    13
  • Normies just means people who aren't in the in group and to me means we are the weird ones, exclusive group or have uncommon interests or knowledge.

    It is important to be self aware that in the context of the fediverse and meme culture things you are use to are weird, different, and sometimes confusing. Perfect example has been the beans and the 3 day poop thing. Normal people don't get and will think it is weird if they know nothing about the trend. Another example is I am a rock climber if I reference a jug or a sloper it means nothing to normies or people unaware of the lingo. So a jug joke isn't something other people get

    11
  • I think that context is really important. I've mostly seen this term used by neurodivergent people when expressing frustration with not being understood by the general populace. Also, these conversations were usually in spaces created by and for neurodivergent people, so the use of normie to indicate everyone else makes sense to me. In that context, it always comes across as kind of self-deprecating to me, an acknowledgement that the person speaking isn't considered normal because of their condition.

    Based on the context you've described, I'm not surprised you don't like the term. If that was were I first encountered it I wouldn't like it either.

    9
  • I'm with you on this one, in a vacuum I don't really have a problem with the term "normie" but here it is completely being used as gatekeeping.

    This whole meta controversy has really caused some brain rot, a lot of people talk about this place as if it's better because it "gatekeeps". They say they enjoy this place because it is niche and doesn't have the "below room temperature IQ posters" (actual quote I saw)

    I don't like this attitude, I really don't like it. It is way to common on the internet, especially for hobby communities to have this attitude.

    8
  • I’ve always assumed that people who use “normie” in their language are probably teenagers with superiority complex.

    7
  • I really dislike that term, it makes me cringe to be considered part of a group that uses it unironically. That’s 4chan speech, let’s keep it in that cesspool.

    6
  • "Normie" is one of the few words that I cringe over everytime I read it. I consider myself to be in, or adjacent to, the group of people that would use that word, since I am tech affinitive and that group is usually the one that uses it. But I cringe everytime I see it used unironically because I don't want non-tech affinitive (or lesser affinitive) people to lump every person that has something to do with IT or similar into the group of people they don't want nothing to do with because they're always condescending towards them.

    It's literally like as if you're saying "Did you know that I have an IQ of 150?".

    You're not gatekeeping anyone out of your life by using that word, you're gatekeeping yourself out of every "normal" persons life by using that word.

    6
  • The cycle of social tech becoming mainstream and conversational norms being dragged down to a least common denominator predates modern social media. The earliest example I can think of is Usenet (newsgroups):

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_September

    During the 1980s and early 1990s, Usenet and the Internet were generally the domain of dedicated computer professionals and hobbyists; new users joined slowly, in small numbers, and observed and learned the social conventions of online interaction without having much of an impact on the experienced users. The only exception to this was September of every year, when large numbers of first-year college students gained access to the Internet and Usenet through their universities. These large groups of new users who had not yet learned online etiquette created a nuisance for the experienced users, who came to dread September every year. Once ISPs like AOL made Internet access widely available for home users, a continuous influx of new users began, which continued through to 2015 according to Jason Koebler, making it feel like it is always "September" to the more experienced users.

    It's the same cycle. Social tech starts off being used by a smaller number of technically inclined people. Communities are smaller and normalized civility is more commonplace. Peer pressure holds people to those norms. Once a social tech balloons from mainstream interest, the norms (or zeitgeist if you prefer) shift toward the incoming population because they outnumber the early population and exert more peer pressure. The new norms become a compromise between the norms of the incoming mob and what the community moderators are willing/able to enforce.

    It's tempting to put a label on the incoming demographic and use it in a derogatory way, but removing the label from the equation doesn't change the source of unhappiness; the memory of what once was and the knowledge that it can't last when cultural dilution sets in.

    (no, I'm not providing any solutions to the problem, this is just rambling that might provide more insightful people with a starting point)

    5
  • I embrace it. It's my core identity. Now excuse me, I have to put up some shelves.

    On more serious note:

    I want to see kindness and compassion. I want to talk to people about topics they are interested in. I want to have relevant discussions without it dissolving into some commentary on some unrelated hot topic thing.

    Hear hear, I salute you

    4
  • I prefer the scientific label: Norman.

    4
  • I can't take anyone who uses "normie" seriously. The meme video plays in my head instantly, and I laugh at it.

    I agree with the toxic use of it being dumb. Which is also why I can't take it seriously. But yeah, doesn't make it less infuriating or hurtful.

    Also I've co-opted it into fun new ways like, "hetero-normies" and "neuro-normies" all as a joke

    4
  • Normies don't exist. Like birds.

    4
  • normie = person who comes into discussion without much understanding of the topic but lacks self awareness to understand their limited perspective.

    classic example would be:

    commenter: Big tech and government collude to spy on us

    normie; I got nothing to hide!

    3
  • I don't know, you have a better word than that? If you want to refer to everyone from your coworkers to the supermarket cashier to your grandma, that's a really huge and diverse group of people. The word gets the point across, that's all that matters. If you want to use a phrase like "non-technologically inclined" or something like that, it actually sounds worse like I'm looking down on them. At least normie is self depreciating, which is more acceptable.

    3
  • I've become comfortable with saying, "it's not worth it being normal", and thus am ok with the normie tag, even if I don't want to turn it into a slur. Normal is a form of social construct that tends to be imposed on us: it's when the teacher enters the classroom and the class sits down and shuts up, not because they explicitly agreed to, but because it was normalized. There isn't anything in particular suggesting that normal = good.

    And that does have an elitist ring to it, which does upset the goal of equitable outcomes in some ways. There are certain philosophies in which a premise of elitism is assumed, as in, some people just won't be able to access the necessary understanding to participate, so it's better to have a gate than to let anyone wander through. This is the view of Leo Strauss and followers - for a really detailed explanation try Arthur Melzer's book Philosophy Between the Lines.

    Even if you don't read that book(it's a good book), I would make the case in this way: it's the difference between online gaming that uses automatic matchmaking, versus a martial arts dojo. Online gaming and toxicity correlate because there is no lower bar on who can play, so all sessions are pushed to the lowest common denominator of cheating, griefing, etc. But someone who participates in martial arts like a gamer gets kicked out of the gym, if the standards are high: an instructor who values students does not let them attempt to eyegouge each other or slam their head on the mat.

    Occasionally someone like that will sign up for a tournament, commit an illegal move in the first round, and get themselves disqualified. But they can leave their opponent seriously injured in the process, and maybe end a career. So the standards tend to condition a degree of gatekeeping, respect for others, etc. Not every gym does well at this, and some styles like boxing have a norm of "hard sparring" where full-contact is trained and damage is expected. But predominantly the focus is on getting the techniques and training without destroying yourself or others.

    And I do liken the idea of complete access to, essentially, allowing dirty street brawls to be the only kind of sparring, the only way in which you can interact online with strangers.

    Martial artists also sometimes use the normie term. They will say it outright: you have to be a weirdo to spend so much time getting beat up and choked out. We can have a gate and still be tough on ourselves to do better.

    2
  • yet another term I have never encountered till I did.

    2
  • Often times the only reason people use certain trigger words is because they know they are trigger words. The more you reveal your triggers, the more some people will use them.

    2
  • Didn't everyone want to defederate entirely from Threads? That would have kept out more people than calling them "normies" would, I imagine.

    I personally don't care either way though; on one hand, I like Lemmy as it is now so don't care if there's a huge influx of Threads users... but on the other hand, while with more users you're definitely going to get more garbage, it also brings in a few more diamonds.

    I come from IRC and message boards during the dial up days, so I'm adaptable.

    2
  • A true normie would end up being pushed out for a myriad of other reasons first. If they even come to a place like this in the first place.

    2
  • I also read the comment about the racist uncle, it was a discussion of the different kind of people facebook (I won't call it meta) will be going to expose us when they join the fediverse. The person who post it wasn't attacking the "normies".

    About the term "normie" isn't necessary an insult or just a person who isn't up with technology, but instead someone who enjoy more basic things. Is OK to be a normie if that's makes you happy.

    I don't get why is OK for them to call us "nerds" (most of the times in a not sarcastic manner) but not for is to call them "normies" (in a sarcastic manner).

    Most of the times that we invite a "normie" to the fediverse they reject us, "I don't like that", "facebook is better", " that's for nerds" they say, and that happens also with music, books, even food, they are just comfortable with how things are and that's OK.

    It isn't that we are gatekeeping, but instead that they don't want to join us.

    2
  • i feel some people use it derogatorily but i think of it as more "your average person", in this context that would be people used to the mainstream networks and haven't tried anything better

    i try to avoid saying normies because the word kind of has a negative connotation even though some people don't use it maliciously

    2
  • Normie is a term used in many circles, not exclusively fediverse. I don't think it's a slur, as the people who use it aren't inciting violence or enacting discriminatory pricing or whatever. It's like calling a person boring.

    2
  • For me, "normie" has always been something coming out of the mouths of weirdos who spend too much time on 4chan, to the point where there are legions of people who think they're not normal, which is ironic.

    1
  • I don't think that calling people normies, newbies or rookies is toxic behavior. Everyone was one at the beginning, but they learned and understand. Those who cry outside being called that and refuse to engage with the group dynamic/community... well I can live without those tbh. BUT I also can live without those who refuse to give interested people pointers or help on their way to no longer be a noob.

    Its pretty much a double-edged sword.

    1
  • We all have our pet peeves, I suppose.

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