1 yr. ago • 93%

Chaotic... Neutral?

I gotta say... the bunch of you whining about this fake are infinitely more annoying than it ever could be by being fake.

77 comments

A dagger does d4 damage. A dagger is not a small knife, it's like 8 inches of blade. Compared to that, a human bite should be like a d2 on the high side.

92
- The stronger muscles of a human body is the one of their jaw. A bite can do serious damage. And when you dagger will cut or stab, your bite will ripe away skin and flesh.
  
  39
  
  Plus, human bites can carry a lot of bacteria and whatnot, so arguably some of that damage should be poison or necrosis damage.
  
  36
  
  Honestly it's all an abstraction anyway but I absolutely would not bring my chompers to a knife fight.
  
  23
  
  And don't forget all the bacteria in the human mouth that can lead to infection.
  
  1
- The thing with human mouths, though, is that they're gross. A dagger will fuck you up, but a mouth may hurt at the time, and then later it's ✨BACTERIA TIME✨. I think maybe they can get a little bonus for that.
  
  22
  
  +1 toxic damage.
  
  7
  
  So what you're saying is that if I want to poison my dagger, all I have to do is lick it?
  
  1
- How much is a bite attack from a dog or a wolf? A human bite would be at most half the bite of a dog.
  
  19
  
  2d4+2
  
  15
- meanwhile monks are out here dropping d10 dragontail kicks to the chest
  
  6
- Average peasant has 4 hp. Max average strike of a dagger does 4 damage. Even if it doesn't strike a vital area, if you get a full, solid, clean hit with that blade, they dead.
  
  If you crit, i.e. hit a vital spot. They definitely dead and the 8inch blade might even take out a tougher boy.
  
  Damage is supposed to imply how effective the strike is on a hit. A 1 is a decent slice or puncture. Possible stitches, not guaranteed. 2 damage? That's a good shank. Stitches recommended, gonna need some medical attention, picture getting stabbed in the hand or getting a slice across the arm or leg. 3 damage? That person is WOUNDED they won't keep fighting if it isn't life or death picture a meaty stab to the bicep or shoulder or side, nowhere critical, but you know you can't take another hit. And 4 is death.
  
  1
OP didn't wash their mouth out at any point before the hospital? Red flag and mouth right there.

72
- Also, if the story is true, that's a fucking terrible nurse (and person) for not reporting it - dude could be in a domestic abuse situation getting stitches and she's just like "yeah whatever"
  
  57
  
  Or she thought it was a sex thing
  
  32
- Would’ve been better if they said he had to get a rabies vaccine.
  
  The chances of getting rabies is extremely small, but the second you say that will result in them immediately vaccinating you for the sake of safety as that window can close fairly quickly. And if you change your story they typically don’t care because people scared of vaccines change their story all the time.
  
  13
- Yeah, it's deranged. You didn't spit out or wipe your mouth? You have another human's meat and blood in your mouth and you just casually went with them to hospital like you're wearing lipstick?
  
  I'm not buying it.
  
  6
  
  Maybe it was... precious... to her
  
  2
And the nurse laughed, and the doctor laughed, and the gurney laughed.

60
- the medical equipment laughed, none of us passed the wisdom check and we got consumed by mimics
  
  25
- And that Gurney's name? Albert Einstein.
  
  21
- Gurney? Is that some sort of gazebo?
  
  12
  
  A gurney is a device used to move a patient who can't easily walk and needs to lie flat. Unlike a stretcher, a gurney has wheels so that it doesn't need to be carried. When an EMT transports a patient from an ambulance into a hospital emergency room, she uses a gurney.
  
  7
- Maggie cried. She's such a downer.
  
  5
That happened.

38
- Of course it didn't happen, it's a post on the internet! Much like at the gaming table we're here for fun, not realism!
  
  9
- I will never understand this mindset of going "Yeah, fake" to everything online. Just such a weird and negative mindset. Not to mention infinitely more irritating than anything you're calling fake in the first place. They're providing entertainment, whether its your tastes or not, while you're just being negative and throwing tomatoes at the screen.
  
  Just so weird.
  
  0
A commoner(your average person) has 4hp. It would be difficult to kill someone in 1 bite unless you went right to the throat. 1 d4 is more than enough damage, and imo is actually too much for a single bite from a human.

36
- Throat, chunk of their face, wrist/forearm, thighs, belly, etc.
  
  Don't underestimate shock and bloodless. That's just your average joe.The strongest recorded bite could crush through your arm. A barbarian can bite through a peasants arm. Rule of cool.
  
  4
If a common human can survive it, it dealt less than 4 damage. And unless you're a monk, tavern brawler or some race that adds a bite attack, that's an unarmed attack and only deals 1+Strength damage.

31
- IRL letal damage is rarely immediately lethal, which is a fact not translated well into the game. The fact he went to the ER is a good sign that it very easily could have lead to death for someone without medical aid.
  
  Also by biting the arm instead of say, the neck, is pretty clear it was a declared non-lethal attack
  
  27
  
  In either case, he'd have fallen unconscious first. If he did, then sure, but otherwise... And it still wouldn't mean it was 1d6+Strength, because you can still roll high on a d4.
  
  Bite a bear and get back to me. That'll be a better metric.
  
  9
- I came to say precisely this.
  
  The standard hp for a regular human, which for the setting is probably in better shape than the office honed bodies of today, to be incapacitated for combat and eventually die is about 4 (depending on edition).
  
  There is maybe one way a trained human could perform a combat biting attack that would render someone unable to fight back, which is a bite to crush the wind pipe, and with all anatomical protection in place, it seems unfeasible even if they would have the jaw strength for it.
  
  6
  
  maybe it should be 1d2 then - can only deal 4 points of damage on a crit
  
  2
Aren't human bites like super dangerous because of how filthy our mouths are?

17
- Yes. We have one of the dirtiest mouths. Like flesh eating bacteria in a bite wound from humans is par for the course.
  
  14
  
  So 1+Strength immediate damage and a constitution saving throw with a DC of 10+damage dealt or suffer an infection curse? Sounds badass.
  
  13
  
  Unless they chew Orbits gum.
  
  1
16
You could bite your own or someone else's finger in half as easily as you can bite a carrot. Don't underestimate the mechanical power of the jaw

15
- A normal person cannot bite their own finger in half because the body has things in place to prevent you from overly injuring yourself like that. You would stop yourself short and just cause pain, maybe bleeding, but no long term damage.
  
  Now someone else’s finger is a different story. Also people with certain medical disorders can ignore the feelings stopping them from biting their own finger off.
  
  14
  
  I've always wondered if this is actually true, or if it just gets spread around as true because no sane person would actually test it with all their might lol
  
  Or maybe it's true in the sense that "a normal person can't stab themselves in the face with a knife because the body has things in place to prevent that"
  
  10
  
  Well of course, I was talking about the bite force specifically
  
  3
  
  Found the normie
  
  1
- It's definitely not as easy from a mechanical standpoint.
  
  Very scientific example
  
  1
Chaotic cringe

12
I could see this as being fake, but I believe it is equally likely to be real. 11th hour, slightly buzzed or worse, character is hanging by a thread and you want to stretch every rule to infinity and beyond? I have seen some ahem interesting...examples to "validate" a rules "extension". Chainmail belts, blowdarts, contained arson, to name the standouts. Just biting someone hard enough to need stitches? Easily possible.

11
- "I hurt my friend because I took a dumb idea too far" is a very probable story. The part I can't believe though is ending the game over a dire bite. We finally got the schedule together, we're going to use the time, darn it!
  
  4
Stop calling it fake, they were just playing a game of DnD². Instead of pretending to be wizards and tieflings going on an epic adventure , they pretend to be a bunch of regular people playing DnD. Campains usually consist of trying to get all the characters together for a game of DnD.

I myself play as a human (only race available) named Dave, who's trying to find a balance between his work as an accountant and his hobby of playing DnD. In my last session I fumbled an extrovert skill check trying to order pizza for the group.

It's all very meta

11
Hah, this reminds me of when I was a teenager and a girl bit me pretty hard. She didn't send me to the hospital (low roll on the damage?) but she did leave a bruise. To this day, I don't know if it was meant to be a form of flirting.

8
- Had a bite scar on my shoulder for years from an ex biting "just for fun"...
  
  4
I don't like biters, it's not cool at all.

6
- You can just tell me if you don't wanna come to my parties anymore
  
  2
  
  A nibble is one thing.
  
  1
doubt.jpg

5
Chaotic? What part of "explicit consent" did you miss?

4
That nurse's name? Albert Einstein. And then everyone clapped.

3
I'm equally impressed and frightened.

2

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