how's your week going, Beehaw

this week's reading is The Serviceberry

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They announced that my Lemmy instance was shutting down, so I had to migrate.
Nice to be(e) here.
- That's a shame about lemm.ee (I'm guessing that's your former instance). Welcome!
  
  Yeah, I had only joined Lemmy about a month prior, and that was the one suggested by Voyager.

Waiting in clinic to see if I can be done with this 45d cough and sinus issues.
Hope springs.
Feeling greatful for your posting about "the message" a few weeks back.
They book made me look at apartheid differently, but surprisingly, also parenting. I'm now a Ta Nehasi (sp?) Coates fan. He seems like a good guy.

Summer break started less than a month ago, but it's feeling a bit like summer blues. One more year left and I get to graduate. It hasn't hit me.
Tried to get an internship, didn't realize that all the internship applications I was looking at were due the same day as my interview for that one internship... And didn't get the internship lol. But they seemed interested in having me apply for the fall, so we'll see! Currently in a volunteer program as a designer, so it's not like nothing's happening career wise. Plus I've been trying (with some depression hiccups) to study extra skills outside my design program, so I hope to get a bit of a leg up from my peers.
I'll most likely have two jobs next fall. The second job is basically lined up for me. ...Aaand maybe an internship on top of it. I think I'm being ambitious again and uh, we'll see what happens? (ᵒ ᵕ ᵒ٥)ゞ
Also going to Seattle next week to meet some old friends! I've never been there so I'm excited!
- I last lived in Seattle in 2000 and suspect I'd not recognize the place now. But the transit options have improved significantly.

I am DRAGGING myself through this month. I take a really important exam for my career tomorrow. I've spent a month studying full-time for it, and i'm running on fumes. I'll look forward to getting home tomorrow evening. I've just finished Snowcrash by Neal Stephenson, and now i'm finally getting into Apostles of Mercy by Lindsay Ellis.
- Happy cake day! Awesome book too. Hope you get some relief and happiness soon.

New job on the way, I should be happy, but I feel insanely depressed.
I wish I didn't live over an hour away from the gay nightlife. I wake up at 5 and everything starts after I've been awake for 16 hours. I'm too sleepy and anemic to make the drive.
I had to see my family and listen to them talk about how jealous they are that I'm forced to live in such a "quaint" backwater shithole even though I've told them I hate it. It must be soooooo easy to be straight. I have to jump through hoops to meet someone who doesn't loathe me, and they're all jealous.
- Dating isn't easy for anyone, except the super model hot shallow ones. Being straight, and trying to date, as a introvert, in a backwater rural area... Trust me I feel your pain.
  
  Oh yeah I know, I wasn't thinking about dating. I'm hideous. I just want to meet someone who doesn't loathe me. I think it would be nice
  ETA I do think being straight is easier even if dating is hard. None of the straight people I know have families trying to cast demons out of them, none of them make friends only to later hear them talking about how their demographic are secretly trying to corrupt America and kill the Jewish people, et cetera.
- I feel you. It's hard to explain to people how much they take for granted their ability to be unguarded when seeking out activities or communities, and to find those places as a gay person you are restricted to a tiny fraction of places (usually HCOL too sadly)
  On the side, I hate how most LGBT community stuff is nightlife, bars, clubs. That's not really my thing. I'd like some other options for meeting people and hanging out that are more relaxed and preferably earlier in the day. Though I feel that's not unique to me or even other gay people.

Moving's starting to feel real. Going to sign a lease tomorrow. Getting in as much time as I can with all the important people. Lots of "lasts" happening recently. There's still a hold on hiring for general music positions, but that's not even at the forefront of my mind at the moment.

It's finally nice out. It's been a long, cold, windy and rainy spring. Planted some seed starters for my garden, hopefuly I get to see some sprouts soon.
It was also such a nice day today that I went for a hike. Everything is getting so green now.

I am doing alright! Got some side projects work taken care of last week, Beehaw upgraded, and went on a nice long motorcycle ride recently. Kiddos are happy and having fun. Things are improving. Slowly.

Honestly, I feel pretty discouraged to work on my book about the history of my student union. I fear that it will fall on deaf ears and I feel that no one really cares about it. It's a pretty long project as well.
Otherwise, I'm glad that my session is over. I'm still looking for a job though.
- Hey, Lionir, if you want some decent editing, I'm also available once you exhaust those options.
  I'm a terrible call for copyediting outside of American English.
  
  I appreciate the offer but the text is all in French so most online friends can't read it which is part of the issue 😓

Honestly, I’m feeling very lost and uninspired. It’s been a while since I posted anything online (hi beehaw I’m back) and I guess I’m just seeking community and connection again. I have lost my sense of self once again and I’m spiraling down which isn’t great.
I just really want to spend some time alone to figure out who I am again. I love my husband so so much but solitude would give me so much clarity right now. Maybe once I get a short break from work I could encourage him to spend some time outside.

HOLIDAAAAAAY! starts saturday, I am so not engaged at work, my brain is already in the Ukraine

I drew a picture of a girl on a swing a couple different ways but every result I got left me unsatisfied. So I gave up and accepted defeat for now. I’ll share it on the art comm.

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