July is disabled pride month. Disabled members, is there a question you're tired of being asked?
Disabled people can get bombarded with questions, which can be pretty tiring.... alternatively the disability can be totally ignored which can be rough. Is there a question you're tired of being asked?
For me it's anything making negative assumptions. "Do you want me to help you love?" NO FUCK OFF I'M AN ADULT I CAN ASK YOU IF I NEED ANYTHING. If I'm obviously struggling, I don't mind, but if I'm not ffs don't assume I am! "Are you sure you can do XYZ?" Yes of course I am! I live with this I know how it works.
This isn't intended as an invalidation of your feelings, but sometimes I'll offer help to someone just because I'm trying to find a way to talk to them. But I understand context is important here.
I am a parent of 2 autistic kiddos. I. Get a lot of "your the parent, just make them do ___". It isn't always that simple - particularly around food.
I also have an autistic child. I'm so fucking sick of, "God gave him to you for a reason." Or even worse, "all he needs is some discipline."
I have started so many fights on behalf of the husband - diagnosed adhd just shy of forty.
Hahahah weaponised incompetence hahahah make him a list. Hahaha why do you HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT YOUR FAT GOB AND STOP ASSUMING DYSFUNCTION IS MALICE
i get especially narky as i'm asd so i've also seen my share of bumps. And we've had a few in the marriage as we sorted ourselves out
I am so fucking sick of the "cheerful, noble and kind" disabled trope. I am not an aesop. I am a person.
Actually sometimes i'm a raging cunt. THIS SHIT HURTS.
Yep! I want to swing for people who call me brave. I'm not 6!!!
I had a friend call me brave. I pointed out i run on rampant denial and spoon abuse so don't fucken use me as an example
Agreed. It's not questions that are the main problem. It's stories and articles about how disabled people have overcome their disability that are the real problem. Yeah, good for them, but that's not realistic for most people and it gives able-bodied people a false sense of what we can accomplish.
I'm getting a hysterectomy in two weeks to treat severe endometriosis and so many people have asked me if this is actually a valid treatment and if I want kids. My specialist is one of the best in the country. If she says yeeting my uterus will prevent more endo surgeries and pain, I'm yeeting my uterus. I'm tired of this shit. I also have zero desire to be a parent to humans.
The world is so baby obsessed that the thought of removing a uterus to treat a debilitating disease is fucking unthinkable. My boss was like, "Have there been studies that show this surgery fixes this problem?" My boss's wife added, "what if you ever want kids?"
And I was like, "It's kinda hard for a uterus-based disease to continue if you don't have a uterus. My doctor is also one of the best specialists in this disease in the country and probably the world. I trust her. And if I ever want kids, I'll just adopt."
People get visibly and verbally disappointed when I say that I don't want kids. Fucking disgusting behavior. The only person that doesn't seem to give a shit that I don't want kids is my surgeon. She just wants me to not be in debilitating pain and accepts my word on the fact that I do not want children.
Like, I've been asked so much about kids in the past month, it's ridiculous. It's invaded my goddamn dreams at this point. I just want people to leave me the fuck alone. Just acknowledge the news of my surgery I'm telling you as a courtesy and fuck off. Please.
But but but all women want kids more than anything else in the world!
The world is so baby obsessed that the thought of removing a uterus to treat a debilitating disease is fucking unthinkable.
...
People get visibly and verbally disappointed when I say that I don’t want kids.
I will never understand this, even as someone who now wishes she could get pregnant but can't ... having kids is such a huge and personal choice, it's hard for me to understand where people are coming from when they are so normative about it with other people. My own desires don't translate to wishing other people have kids too. (I know I'm different in many ways, but still, that's my point - I'm different and don't understand other people.)
I'm so sorry you face this social stigma, it strikes me as misogynistic and reductive (as well as just rude and inconsiderate to your suffering and reality). I'm so glad you have your surgeon!
why are you wearing a mask? i thought covid was over?
Have you tried ---
Biiiiitch i've been living with rheumatoid arthritis since 12, adult onset muscular dystrophy since my late teens and i broke my back in 2005 i have tried things you cannot even conceive of
I'm colorblind, and I hate people asking me what color things are, unprompted. I get that they're trying to understand, but maybe have a little more tact???
Side note, I never felt like my colorblindness was a disability, until I started going through a gender transition, and it makes me feel so incredibly stuck.
Not so much a question - but I receive a monthly payment for the disability I have.
I'm so sick of people saying "I wish I got money for free!"
I understand that everyone is struggling right now, but if they could just live for a day in my shoes, they'd see that it's not "for free".
Yep you get that money for a fucking reason.
And it often takes years of paperwork and going back and forth to get what you deserve.