If its meant to be they will teleport into my basement

Yep. That's me. Dense as a brick.

it do be like that ~~sometimes~~ often

Last year I got hit on by a young woman in my neighbourhood. She started by asking me for some rice because she didn't have any left (that might have been an excuse). When I came back 5mn later with a bag, she simply asked me if I wanted to play with her. I told her I was married and went home, but I liked her approach. No room for ambiguity. She must have been 20 something, so it's not a matter of age at least. Maybe maturity.

Is this a copypasta?
- It can be !
Should've gotten her pregnant to expand your brood.
Smh.
- I contemplated the possibility for what felt like the longest second in my life. But it wouldn't have been right

What signals?

Fucks signs, fuck everything that's not clear communication made of words that carry your intended meaning

Could it be that “signs” are meant to hedge one’s bets? It doesn’t expose you as much if the other party isn’t interested.
- Right, just like it's inappropriate for a guy to go up to a random woman, or even a familiar woman in a friendly setting and just say "hey you wanna fuck?" it's also inappropriate in the other direction. That's why you use an escalating series of verbal and non verbal cues to gauge interest first before you commit fully.
- Yea, I think so.
- Could be, but that's immature and unattractive. You're better off not throwing in with someone who's unwilling to be vulnerable

Goth girl i worked with at Tacobell in college, I guess, was flirting with me often? She gave me this burned CD, and her music was weird, so I just threw it in my binder. Years later, I finally listened to it, and it was all songs about having sex.

I think she might have been interested in me?

I would cum if a goth girl burned me a CD
This would torment me for life. The potential of having a goth gf and missing out. It didn't happen to me and I'm tormented over it.
idk, is she Canadian? she might've just been polite
If she'd burned a loop of herself saying "Pistcow, let us fuck", it would only have been slightly more direct.
Nah man that's what she is into and only wanted to share the music taste. Also I am a Penguin.
Nice to read I'm not alone in this.
- Some day, we might learn, buddy.

If it's meant to be, they'll speak up and say, "I'm interested in a date, what are you doing this friday?" or something along those lines, just like I would if I was interested in someone as a potential partner.

Signs/signals/asstrology charts/ouija boards that mysteriously spell out words like kiss, sex, or date.... these things are for middle school. I've got better things to do.

T R U E
L O V E
F L A M E

Or hear me out, they were just being a kind person.

I'm definitely not one of those. Stop assuming that, dammit!

All the possible signals = literally just standing there. That tracks.

All the possible signals. Really. I'll give you two of my own experience (or inexperience)
Teenagers in a school trip. She tells me, do you want to come with me, I forgot my key in the room. "Sure" I say. I proceed to walk with her and wait for her to go to her room while I held the elevator.
Me in a quite alternative bar. She "why don't you stay longer, I can take you home after". Me "I have early class tomorrow".
Both were drop dead gorgeous (the first one was fairly wealthy)
Those are just two examples. My life is full of them. Apparently I'm more attractive than smart.
Of course, there have been some super direct where I clued in but it was impossible not to.

Can I teleport an apostrophe into that possessive pronoun to transform it into the appropriate contraction?

Was one of the signs her saying something like "Hey, I'm attracted to you, would you like to explore a potential relationship?" ?

Otherwise f off with "signs"

It took me years of therapy to get to that friend.
But yeah now for sure.
- I mean, we all should do our best to accommodate for other people's difficulties, but in the end, nobody can be faulted for lacking the ability to read minds.
Yes, but I'm assuming she's just kind and joking around.
- Probably just Canadian

No. Once bitten twice shy, and I got bitten over and over again. Falling in love with every person who was nice to me in high school was a massive mistake and caused nothing but hardship. The last two decades have been relatively peaceful because I don't buy it anymore. Fuck reading between the lines, fuck hints, fuck signals and vibes. I'm never acting unless I receive DIRECT CLEARLY EXPRESSED FREELY GIVEN ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT and not a moment sooner.

I will never trust my ""intuition"" ever again.

Last year I got hit on by a young woman in my neighbourhood. She started by asking me for some rice because she didn’t have any left (that might have been an excuse). When I came back 5mn later with a bag, she simply asked me if I wanted to play with her. I told her I was married and went home, but I liked her approach. No room for ambiguity. She must have been 20 something, so it’s not a matter of age at least. Maybe maturity.
Intuition does not help when it is a woman giving signs in order to reassure herself that she is attractive but with zero intention of accepting a request for a date.
- Actually, you know, I could afford to keep that in mind more often. I've suffered with poor self esteem in the past myself, and so I know just about everyone can use reassurance sometimes. It's just a matter of figuring out how to validate someone else's insecurity without creeping them out and also without becoming an enabling crutch that they lean on more than is healthy or appropriate.
  Empathy can be toxic if I'm misreading, too... It's possible to honestly believe I'm attempting to reassure someone and end up saying something that only exacerbates their insecurities x_x I don't even know how it turns out like that, probably because I'm just not very good or practiced at socializing. But usually I've tended to err on the side of caution and keep my mouth shut.
  I dunno. I'll have to think on it more as to whether or not I want to try proactively engaging on that again now...

I’m the king of obliviousness. She passed her hand over my dick. Twice.

Maybe she was Canadian? You never know.
- Can confirm (am Canadian). That's how we say thank you.

Meh, had this too often. The moment I make a move they usually withdraw. Nowadays I let people know that if they're interested, hints won't cut it. Either ask me out or stop that shit. I've had enough rejections to the point where I'd rather stay single than go through this hell again. ✌️

Ha, imagine getting signals.

I have to find women in order to get any signals.

I've gotten many signals near roads. just wear a hi-vis vest and take them home
Same. Not much around here in my travel range (not aware of anything social applicable to me), so the people who talk to me are definitely being cordial. Which is less awkward for me anyhow.
I don't leave the house (or talk to people) enough for the idea to seem anything other than silly.
- So funny thing you mention that. You're describing me.
  For a very long time, I was in denial about being touched with the 'tism. Some behaviors of mine that I noticed I couldn't ignored and asked some friends about them. Did some tests without thinking through my constant camouflage and yeah, definitely have ASD. I mentioned it to friends and family and they all said something similar to "you finally figured it out huh?" So hopefully I can start to gain more energy for going out as long as I don't feel the need to camouflage. One thing at a time though.
  The other thing that doesn't help is that I identify demiguy more than as a man. So I know my behavior and appearance doesn't quite fit the "masculinity" picture - regardless if it's toxic or not. Im definitely male, I'm definitely attracted to women, but like I like having soft hands. I'm a softer personality, I'd rather listen to gossip than think/pay attention/care about sports.
  Having discovered that though, maybe it too will help my confidence and lead to better interactions.
  I'm challenging myself to be this real me, and see if it leads to more signals.
  Still doesn't help trying to find where people are.

now that's a title. well done.

sauce?

AI unfortunately
- even the text?

I have realized one day that years ago when she invited me in for a beer after a night out when I went to pickup my sunglasses that I left with her, it probably wasn't about the beer, though to be fair to me, I thought she was still seeing this guy I knew so I basically had that part of my brain turned off around her.

What show is the img from?

It is indeed AI, and imagine my disappointment to learn this because as you can probably guess I would watch the hell out of a random cyberpunk anime involving goth chicks and penguins.
I guess we still have Evangelion, which is probably what this is riffing off of anyways.
(A note to interested readers that there is also Penguin Highway, which I thought was halfway decent.)
- It seems to be a penguin suit
I think it's ai, she appears to be floating and the ceiling is weird. I could be wrong though, 80% sure.
- Thank you are correct https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/penguin-and-goth-girl