me_irl

Pizza absolutely hurt me when I couldn't wait to eat it after it came fresh out of the oven.

Was that the pizza, or your own unbridled enthusiasm?
- Definitely the pizza. My enthusiasm isn't that hot.
- it can be two things

I used to belive this fella :,(

Just this last week, I had the saddest ass Pizza I've ever had. My worldview has been shook, now knowing pizza could actually be that bad.

You probably shouldn't be eating ass pizzas
- Just ass no pizzas
- Judge not, assh****!
Bad pizza definitely exists. Good pizza is worth feeling like crap afterwards because I just ate 1500 calories of carbs and grease. I'm not gonna feel that way for bad pizza.

Fuck Reddit and Fuck Spez.

This is not pizza’s fault, but I’m limited in what kind of pizza I can eat because I cannot eat gluten. Unfortunately it seems the gluten free industry is content with those god awful thin crusts, whereas I liked pan crust and deep dish style. So I miss real pizza a lot.

I mean, you're probably aware of this at some level, but fluffy dough is a problem in general, because gluten is the glue that normally traps the CO2 bubbles produced by the yeast.
They are reasonably successful with making somewhat-fluffy bread, but I'm guessing the thicker dough and not having toppings, which bring in moisture, helps a lot.
Having said all that, I'm also surprised that we haven't found an alternative glue yet.
Hey, at least it's a menu option. I get my hopes up whenever I see pizza places boast their allergy accommodations, only to find out that there's no dairy-free alternatives except "No cheese"
You know why? Too many people pretend to be gluten intolerant. Now I'm not talking about celiac disease, which actually does permanent damage to your guts if you eat gluten, and I'm assuming you're afflicted with it, just like half my mother-in-law's family. I'm not talking about them, I'm talking about the fad dieters.
Not enough people pretend to be lactose intolerant. The opposite, in fact; My lactose-intolerant wife pretends to be able to process lactose just because it tastes so good.
When cheese is the most expensive ingredient on a pizza, I don't feel like I'm getting my money's worth when I say "No cheese."
People suffer to have cheese because it's so good.
Apparently they're willing to deal with crispy cardboard crust to have it.

used to know someone who preferred pizza cold. they would buy takeout pizza from dominos or whatever and put it in the fridge to have cold a few hours later

At least they don't have to care as much if the delivery is late
- Nah room temperature pizza is not the same as pizza from the fridge
Depends on the pizza for me. Meat on pizza I prefer hot. Veggies/olives pizza (at least takeout pizza) has more flavor to me when it's cold.
- yea ok i think they were vegetarian so its possible
If that’s how they like it, okay, but I’ll grab my slices BEFORE they go in the fridge, thank you.

For me, it's Pad Thai.

Large chunks of fried tofu. Get it Thai hot. Halfway through I'm on my second napkin for my runny nose.

I could eat that every day and never get tired of it.

for me its just tofu itself
just such a Kind Hearted food
it asks nothing
it can be anything
to gently hold a block of tofu is to know peace
i'm really into gra pow fried rice lately. also literally, i'm mid-bowl.

I wish those Italians from a few centuries ago could read this.

What about bad pizza? That shit sends me straight into a depression spiral.

Is there really bad pizza though, unless it is spoiled? Even shitty pizza is still kinda okay.
- Even the Ninja Turtles knew when to pass on it:
  "Do you like...penicillin on your pizza?"
- Ever eaten gluten free pizza?
- Vegan pizzas can taste downright vile. Had one that used some rubbery cheese substitute with saitan pepperoni and it took all my will to finish the slice. I'm sure vegan food can be good but it's definitely easy to fuck it up too.

As I've said for years, there's nothing sadder than an empty pizza box

See what happens when Brendan Fraser eats pizza? He used to be healthy & sexy.

One of my favourite pizzas is the ones I had in school breaks/lunch. The base was a bit spongey, the cheese had hardened on top, and it had a sprinkling of herbs.
\ By all means it is low quality, but whenever I get a cheap pizza slice like it I'm genuinely a bit happier.

Tfw you feel this way about pizza but wake up one day in your late 20s and are suddenly lactose intolerant x.x

Just use hard cheese like gouda, emmentaler etc. - you can make it yourself or buy deepfreeze pizza with that (they usually disclose the type of cheese they use). And most deepfreeze pizzas here contain so little cheese that even the ones based on mozzarella aren't really an issue unless your reaction to lactose resembles an allergy more closely than an intolerance.
- Fo sho. Im not entirely cut off from pizza, I still probably make 5 or 6 of them a year. It just comes with significantly uncomfortable digestive consequences now, so pizza has gone from "beloved staple" to "rare treat" for me. What i really miss is cheap pizza like the $1.50 slices from costco. It's just never worth it for me anymore now that it comes with guaranteed digestive discomfort the next day
I've not ate dairy cheese in like 8 years and I still love pizza
- Hell yeah brother, im glad for you. I've yet to find a non-dairy cheese that I personally enjoy. The cashew nut based ones are the only ones that imitate cheese texture very well imo, but I strongly dislike the taste of cashew so those are a non-starter for me

That, but Blåhajar.

Pizza has taken 2+ hours to arrive and shows up burnt, under cooked, or sloppy. Pizza absolutely has disappointed me unfortunately.

But, is that actually the pizza’s fault, or the pizza places fault??
Don’t put people problems on pizza! 😤
- Better than putting people (or worse, pineapples) on pizza.

I made pizza today because of this post. I do have my pizza game dialed in, I'm just too lazy to do it most days.

As great as pizza is, it still makes me feel & look like a fat greasy hag afterwards. Pizza is no unconditional hero.

you haven't eaten the kinds of pizza that I have op ;_;

Not for me. I think if I ate pizza every time i felt down/sad/depressed I'd start to associate pizza with that feeling and not be able to enjoy pizza anymore when I'm happy

Counter it, by eating pizza every time you're happy and joyous
i beg to differ. I use pie (not pizza pie) as a "shit i'm having a bad month let's turn it around" food. i have for decades. unfortunately my patronage alone wasn't enough to keep the local pie shoppe open so i have to get storebought or travel now (i don't have energy to bake pie on days that bad). pie continues to make me happier, regardless of the situation.

#1. Fuck reddit. #2. Pizza rules. #3. I for sure have had bad pizza that made me sad. There is definitely such a thing as bad pizza. Like I don't even want to allow the calories from that bad pizza into my body because why would I consume 1500 calories of bad pizza level bad.

Pizza that has olives on it makes me sad.

broccoli on pizza is actually pretty good
- I like broccoli, but I tried broccoli on pizza when I was living in New England. I guess it's popular there. It's also disgusting. The broccoli flavor is way too overpowering.

Clearly this person has never had Allentown “pizza”