Pentagon Pete Fires ‘Fat’ Soldiers as War on Weight Rages

Ooh, ooh...do the Commander in Chief next. He's the fattest one of all.

You mean civilian leadership vs military leadership?
FDR won WWII from a wheelchair, your comment makes no sense.
- Sorry, what’s the purported correlation between FDR’s paralysis and Trump’s general unhealthiness?

The recruiting crisis in the US military is pretty bad.

The funniest example is 24M$ the national guard spent in 2012 on recruiting at nascar. This generated 24,800 prospective recruits. ~$1000 per interested recruit. Not bad. Of those, 20 were eligible to join. 99.92% unfit for service. Of those 20, all declined to join. There's no evidence that the 88M$ spent on nascar between 2011-2013 generated a single recruit.

This is part of why the exclusion of trans folks, women and others from the military is such an own goal for the fascists. Any potential recruiting pool that's closed hastens the decline of our imperial supremacy.

is such an own goal for the fascists
I'm reminded of the bit from ur-fascism about how they are incapable of evaluating the world.
They are stupid people living in an emotional fantasy.
Also if there was a draft they'd have to put me in jail or I'd leg it to canada. This has come up in conversation before and people are like "Erm nuh uh you'd totally go" like no bro you'll actually die to an IED in something-istan.
The recruiting crisis in the US military is pretty bad.
The largest standing military (outside of an active war) in the world has a recruiting crisis?
- Yes, the military is overextended and “undermanned” in critical areas. I know for certain we are short about 2000 pilots and 3500 air traffic controllers in the USAF, but every branch and complex job is hurting for qualified people.
Just wait for the takeover of Tik Tok to happen.
It'll be 24/7 military recruitment propaganda.
- So true! Are you currently getting help from a mental health professional?
- Do you have credentials and research data to back your opinion?

'Fat' soldiers are fired. Meanwhile, ICE is expanding their already burgeoning Meal Team Six battalions.

At least the newly unemployed soldiers will have a nice well-paying paramilitary to join, so they can keep supporting their wives and their wives' boyfriends.
- Just casually trashing the military and then being shocked when the military doesn’t support you.
😚👌
Yep, two completely different missions.
- Imperialism abroad and imperialism at home?

Pentagon Pete is a ridiculous and unnecessary nickname.

Secretary Shitface, please.

Triple SecDef
- Inspired👏
Pete Kegsbreath
Pete Kegseth.
I'd call him "that fucker" but there's too many fuckers for that to be clear.
I'm a fan of "Two Week Pete" myself.
It's supposed to be Twinky Pete.

If you can’t kickflip a skateboard into your dick, consider yourself dismissed.

Instructions unclear. Felt bored, so I skated around the idea and considered kicking my dick. I flipped and missed.
uses a TechDeck to kickflip onto his dick to rail grind it
Like this?
- If there’s no video, it didn’t happen

There goes the cyber security division.

We lost cybersecurity when we fired all the Trans Baddies.
Now we're just jettisoning everyone with a background in logistics and engineering

If he wouldn’t swipe right on his Grindr you’re gone

I appreciate the joke, but there’s no swiping in Grindr, you just get to be a perv to whoever you like. It’s great.
Better to say “if he wouldn’t tap you” or “😈 you”.
- Thanks for the info.

Tired of all these unfuckable troops in my military. I demand everyone have an ass I can bounce a quarter off of.

#No-Homo

Dude, I'm eating. I got soup coming out of my nostrils thank you very much.
Control your humor. Who don't know how it can affect others.
- I'm sorry, I'll get you a napkin.

Rude of Pete to expect soldiers to stay lean without the ozempic and cocaine he uses to stay trim.

You think the US military doesn't have access to cocaine?
My brother... nothing would get done without the lines our top brass is railing.
- probably not the only thing top brass is railing.. bottom brass too

Do the drunks next!

I honestly hope Nazis continue to fuck with military personnel. These are volunteers trained to shoot a rifle and they're supposedly willing to kill or be killed to defend our freedoms.

For the love of god please open up multiple fronts in the war on America.

You’re hoping for a military coup?
Sorry to tell you but the military, particularly combat arms, are more conservative than not. And they usually have opinions that you’d label “Nazi”.

His nickname is Twinky Pete. He likes his twinks.

If you're working maintenance, then you absolutely want a 300 pound guy on the other of a lever while you're working on a suspension.

Are these the guys that we see on the memes mocking right wing soldiers?

Yep, these fascists are obsessed with social media and those images got a lot of traction

He reminds me so much of this guy

May he experience sudden hypothyroidism.

Like honestly I think struggling with his weight is something he is less capable of handling than even prison

He should fire his fat head of his. Fatty

My mustache is fired

Easy Pete: You won't get any TNT unless you know what side of it to torch.

Pentagon Pete: Well you look like a pro, but what about that belly?

"war on weight" is absolutely brilliant.

Being fat doesn't reduce a leader's ability to manage logistics, define tactics and strategy, build confidence in leadership or use technology. This focus on physical capabilities while we watch drones and robots take over modern warfare is insane. This incompetence will remove highly skilled soldiers and replace them with those less capable of modern warfare, and likely less capable of using new technologies. The people who are removed will go somewhere and bring the value of that skillset with them, empowering someone or something other than the US military. This administration's obsession with loyalty and obedience over competence and independent thinking will weaken America and create opportunities for adversaries to exploit.

Reverting to the values of a former age is a death sentence for the future. The world has changed and if America refuses to keep up with those changes, it will only hasten the fall.

so those guys in the photos made the cut...