What's something you'd like to leave behind in the old year and not carry into the new year?

About 50 pounds.

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For people not versed in using pounds, it's roughly 22 stones, or 113000 carats or alternatively 730 Troy ounces. I hope I helped.

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- What are you getting on about? 50 pounds is right at 228,926,000,000 Venezuelan Bolívares.
  
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For the rest of the planet that uses kgs, this is about 50lbs of high fructose corn syrup

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- Perhaps they just have £50 burning a hole in their pocket.
  
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- Or maybe they're 170 and have body dysmorphia
  
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Cardiovascular disease.

I think it's coming with me though.

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In December 2022 I realized I skipped seeing my cardiologist for 6 years. Did a 24 hour monitor. Apparently my heart rate was dropping to 21 bpm and stopping pumping for up to three seconds. So in February 2023 they cut me open and give me a pacemaker. Months go on and I am still getting winded. So they did another heart Cath procedure (on the 28th) and it turns out my heart is doing worse than thought even, so in the next 3-5 years I'll need a heart transplant. But the make up of my organ layout means I'll need a specialist, which just all sounds so slim. I am 33 and so fucking tired.

I hope to leave some of this stress behind. I know there's a lot I can't escape now, but I hope I can leave some of the anger and fear behind. It's been hard to be a good dad or partner this year just from feeling so stressed, and if I don't know how long we will have I just want my daughter to remember a happier dad.

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- God I feel you so hard my guy.
  
  I'm only a few years older than you and have ischaemic cv disease (blocked arteries). It's a common problem in people twice my age. I thought I ate well and exercised regularly but it turns out that stuff doesn't help that much if you lost the genetic lottery like me.
  
  I had a heart attack this year, while my partner was pregnant with our first children. Yes 2x kids. They were born a few months ago.
  
  IDK if I have 2 years or 20 years to do my best for them... but fuck it's a bitter pill.
  
  I absolutely get the dread / fear / anger.
  
  Every time I have a new blood test that shows I'm more fucked than I hoped it just... hurts.
  
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My anxiety but probably not going to happen.

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It took me a very long time to realise that there's no point worrying about things I can't control, I needed to find ways to mitigate the risks or consequences.

E.g. I used to get very very anxious about traveling, e.g. for a four hour car trip. What is there's heavy traffic, what if we run late, what if there are detours, what if we need to stop, what if the car breaks down...

Then I started working out what I could actually do about these things? What is in my control? What can I do to make heavy traffic more bearable (music and water)? So what if I'm late? I have a phone I can call. I can keep my car well maintained, I can drive calmly, and so on.

It's not perfect, it's anecdotal, but it was a mindset change that helped me. I mean, medication helped too... it gave me the space to be rational.

Best of luck! Happy new year.

Apologies if that all came off as preachy crap.

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- Thanks!
  
  In my case its that I just get stuck into repetative negative thought loops. My default assumption always seems to be that the worst case scenario is going to happen even though it never happens. I'm just really good at convincing myself that nothing is worth trying as I'm probably going to fail anyways.
  
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- Good for you for taking the medicine. I did the same... Small dosage over 6 months period. Really helped me in the same way as you.
  
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Soft recommendation for psychedelics. It's NOT for everyone and you should do some legitimate research beforehand, but it's done wonders for my anxiety

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Debt. Is that an option? If so where do I sign?

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the way i see it, the world may well end within our lifetime. when the credit card server farms collapse into the encroaching ocean it won't matter anymore

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Can I interest you in a "platinum" level cash rewards Visa™ card? I mean, is platinum, which everyone knows is above gold. You'd be fucking stupid not to sign up for this card. DM me with you deets 🤙

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Long Covid.

Being woken up by fireworks wasn't conducive of healing, though.

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I find fireworks about as lame as firing guns into the air in celebration.

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- Fireworkes a slightly cooler than that, at least they flash pretty colours when they terrorize people.
  
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being overly paranoid about finances

i used ynab for a while but am now realizing it's probably worse for my mental health to keep track of things that granularly. need to go back to a more zoomed out, normal person sort of management scheme

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Use the envelope budgeting method

https://www.investopedia.com/envelope-budgeting-system-5208026#:~:text=You begin with multiple envelopes,your new budget period begins.

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Maybe just readjust your categories to be more general?

Alternatively I found a bank called Monzo that has ynab features built-in. I'm definitely considering not renewing my ynab and switching to that if I can.

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Everybody dying in my family. I'm sick of going to funerals and pretending to be sad or something. I'm not. Death is part of life. Fucking masquerade.

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Ah fuck off, it's sad if someone you love can no longer be a part of your life.

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Fuck western funerals. Dying of old age in the west isn't sad, it's the ultimate conclusion to that person's story and should be celebrated. Edit: I mean celebrate their life not their death.

~~But, the funeral industry gotta sell you a shitty coffin, sell you a shitty service. Shitty people gotta show off how sad they are.~~ Edit: being an edgy arsehole isn't cool. Grieve how you want, not how someone else thinks you should, including me.

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- I was sad when my dear grandpa died. He was like a (second) father to me. He taught me many things and was the sweetest man in the world, with more love in his heart than he knew what to do with. He was a great father, a great husband, and he grew up from nothing, fatherless himself, yet turned himself into an exemplary human being and man. A role model if you will.
  
  Definitely wept at his funeral, because I missed him dearly already. Your situation not being similar doesn't mean I have to pretend not to be sad. That's bullshit.
  
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- Ah Jesus how high mighty do you have to be to be above grieving losing a loved one. Funerals are a celebration of someone's life, it's like one of the opening lines of every funeral I've been to.
  
  It doesn't matter the age, if the person was important to you their absence can impact you emotionally.
  
  Get yourself checked.
  
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- It's only sad if they are under 50. RIP mom.
  
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God yes. I was a bit of an accident in my family and have a slew of aunts, uncles and cousins who are all 60-90 now. It’s been an interesting past couple of years and I am not looking forward to the next few.

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my old gender and name

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Well you're Nikki to me, hope that helps

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- <3
  
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Big same, and I've finally started doing it socially 😊

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- thats lovely to hear sasha :3
  
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Conservative politics.

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Loneliness

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Chocolate addiction.
15kg in excess weight.
Depression.
Unemployment.
Meth addiction.
Crime.

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Think you won the thread. :)

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Here's to hoping the crime part is just you stealing chocolate bars.

Hope you find the strength to kick the meth problem. ❤️

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Depression. Not gonna happen though.

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Debt.

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My tendency to get walked all over. Recent events made me realise that I need to get a lot better at putting my foot down and telling people when there's a problem.

To cut a week-long story short, my NYE plans to do pub karaoke (which I planned nearly a month in advance) got hijacked when another friend group decided to make alternate plans to go to the club and make one of my close friends cancel on me. This led to me being pressured by another close friend into cutting my original plans two hours short so that my friend group could all be together at midnight. Of course, the other group making the alt plans all pulled out on the morning of the 31st Dec, leaving me and my three other friends with tickets to go to a nightclub that I didn't particularly want to go to.

I don't like clubbing. Nightclubs are overcrowded, loud to the point where you literally can't hear anybody and have to yell at the bartender to even order a drink, and they make me feel isolated. I also feel insecure about my physical attractiveness and jealous due to my inability to pull.

Botched NYE plans aside, 2023 definitely ended on a good note. I went from working in a crappy purchase ledger job, to facing layoffs, to escaping redundancy by finding a much better internal role that has honestly felt like a culture shock to me.

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