Serious answer: eggs have a protective barrier around them, so sperm actually need to group in bunches to break the barrier, and a single lone sperm is incredibly unlikely to do well on its own. As such the ones that have a higher chance of success are actually the ones that are last and get in after the barrier's been weakened.
In addition to the other comments, the egg is, you know, also you. The personification of one gamete or another based on your gender is weird and unnecessarily dismissive of 50% of your parentage.
Regarding fertilization, it was recently discovered that the female body uses only samples of sperm at a time, not the whole "load" at once (you want a source and I do too to refresh my memory, but I don't know how to google this specific thing).