7 mo. ago • 98%

only two options

66 comments

"Welcome to Applebee's! Would you like apples or bees?"

"Bees?"

"HE PICKED THE BEES!" chefs angrily shake jars of bees

101
- Spiders it is, then.
  
  24
  
  This is an Applebee's, not an Outback Steakhouse
  
  11
- I can visualize this so clearly and it feels like a fever dream
  
  3
Applebee's is a bar, so all bees served at Applebee's are technically, Bar Bees.

(Now available on Blu-ray and select streaming services)

73
- Oh Margot not only are you an incredible actress but a hilarious comedian! So cool we have a famous celebrity like you within the fediverse!
  
  12
  
  That's esteemed academy award nominated actress Margot Robbie to you!
  
  11
Wife: what are you thinking about having?

Me: my ass ate out

Waiter:.... I'll give you some more time.

61
Welcome to Dicks. Can I help you find anything?

49
- There's a fast food chain in the Seattle area called Dick's and their motto for a while was "eat a bag of Dick's".
  
  35
  
  This just proves to me more and more that my business partners were/are prudes. We started a bratwurst stand. I wanted our slogan to be "We just want our sausage in your mouth." They voted it down because it was "too risqué."
  
  30
  
  This is amazing. Would eat Dick's.
  
  2
  
  And as Sir Mix-A-Lot said: "Dick's is the place where the cool hang out; the swass like to play and the rich flaunt clout"
  
  1
- 27
- I'll have the balls
  
  8
  
  I Will have the bees
  
  3
- Have any been spotted?
  
  3
40
Haven't had bees, but crickets are pretty good once you get over the initial mental hurdle. Kinda crunchy and earthy.

26
- I had salt and vinegar crickets. They were good, as long as you didn't try to savor them.
  
  20
  
  I had mine in taco form. Spiced with cumin and probably fried, they were good when the legs weren't getting stuck in my teeth, haha
  
  13
  
  Careful, you might trigger a conservative.
  
  5
"So the choice is ... or bees?" (which is two Eddie Izzard references in one)

24
- I'll have the chicken
  
  8
  
  My god it’s full of bees!
  
  9
- I'll have the chicken then.
  
  6
This one would be funnier if it said slightly less.

16
- The real solution is to not go to Applebee's and make your own frozen food at home.
  
  8
Do they have the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees?

10
On the flip side, you’ll get free lip fillers and fresh honey.

8
Cooked in 1000°C

3
- Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  
  Cooked in 1000°C
  
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
  
  1
1
u

Saved two letters, Skippy. Your efficiency makes up for the news that we're not worth 2 letters.

-14
- Some creole languages actually use single letters like that, so some people you're mocking may just be doing habits from their native language. Why bother complaining? It's such a minor thing to get up in arms about.
  
  6
  
  hilarious take
  
  1
- Honestly it's the right call. We're really not worth it.
  
  5
  
  "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"
  
  3
- It's Twitter, dude. You're limited by character count
  
  3

You've viewed 66 comments.