1 yr. ago • 96%

Any greenthumbs out there have a humane solution?

64 comments

Nuke'em from orbit, its the only way to make sure.

65
- Fuckin' A.
  
  13
- I knew someone would beat me to it
  
  3
Image Transcription:

Facebook post by user Nevin Tressler to the Organic Gardening group reading: "They are destroying my garden. What is it and how do I get rid of them without pesticides"

Attached are two photos, one of a xenomorph facehugger from Aliens wrapped around a plant pot with a succulent in it that appears to be mid-topple, the second photo is of the same facehugger apparently scurrying away from the same now-toppled pot.

[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]

35
- Good human!
  
  16
  
  Thank you, fellow human 🤖
  
  13
- Good meat-bot!
  
  11
  
  Thank you, flesh friend.
  
  3
You have to introduce their natural Predators.

35
- Then we send wave after wave of gorillas at them!
  
  4
  
  Guerillas*
  
  1
A flamethrower will work and it is not a pesticide.

30
- get away from her you bitch.
  
  22
  
  They mostly come out at night.
  
  Mostly.
  
  10
  
  Permanently Deleted
  
  3
I thought this was real and the OOP was Australian. Took me far too long to get it.

29
- I love that it would look right at home in Australia
  
  27
  
  We would take them as pets because they are really friendly and misunderstood. They just like to climb around your bedroom walls at night and you often wake up with them suspended directly above you on the roof
  
  10
  
  Yep.
  
  9
  
  It would probably get killed by the local fauna pretty quick. Then it would get tossed on the BBQ
  
  4
They're actually harmless and keep your yard free of invasive species (like humans).

25
A crowbar might be surprisingly effective.

23
- Is it also important to stay entirely silent while doing this method?
  
  9
  
  yeah as soon as you pick up a corwbar you can't talk anymore
  
  8
Have you considered running for your life, mate?

21
- Would I find that brand at Lowe's or Home Depot?
  
  13
Just do it like you would do with a spider in your house: catch it alive, and set it free in an environment where it can thrive, e.g. Washington, D.C.

21
Nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

20
- This should be the top comment
  
  1
I just keep an orange tabby called Jonesy around to help with that

19
- The only problem is that it's just a matter of time until he brings a not quite dead one into the house as a present.
  
  8
Flamethrowers seem to be the go-to solution if you don't want to use pesticides.

18
It’s just looking for a fresh face!

18
Game Over, Man. Game Over.

18
Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure

17
- Technically not using pesticides 😂👍
  
  6
My gut feeling is to just face it or it will burst out of control.

15
OceanGate has a device that can kill a person faster than the brain can process what's going on. That should be humane.

13
is “hug therapy” not the way? that explains my family’s disappearance.

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Fire. Lots of it.

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Shoot it

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i olny have inhumane solutions

10
Fire

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I'd recommend a pulse rifle, or flamethrower.

If you want to be sure, nuke it from orbit. It's the only way.

These are not pesticides, therefore within the limitations of the question.

9
They have acid blood, so I would suggest a strong base such as bleach.

8
Just move out, you have already lost the garden

7
Nothing an L56A3 Smartgun can’t handle. I always keep mine resting on the back porch ready for these pesky varmints.

6
Just walk around in the yard for a bit.

4
That thing looks like a face bugger from Aliens. What is it?

4
- It is what you think it is haha
  
  14
- Idk maybe a facehugger from Aliens?
  
  8
- I think the original picture is of a coconut crab
  
  2
You don't.

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Wtf is it tho

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- They're called facehuggers because they wrap around your face, shove their vagina down your throat and lay eggs in you, which hatch and punch their way out of your chest.
  
  How have you never seen any Alien franchise movies?
  
  8
  
  Movies? I thought those were documentaries about long ago in a galaxy much like ours .
  
  6
  
  I don't think they shove their vagina down your throat. I think it's maybe their uterus? Or their fallopian tubes or something? Any xenomorphologists here?
  
  5
- Faciem Amplexus
  
  2
They are cute little things called face huggers. Just give them as a gift to your lonely neighbour so they can get free hugs.

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