Got permanent ban in r/LGBT and when i asked why I got a 3 day ban for promoting hate.
Got permanent ban in r/LGBT and when i asked why I got a 3 day ban for promoting hate.
This was my conment on a post saying that pregnant people should always be used instead of pregnant women. My comment was under someone saying vitamins for pregnant women should say vitamins for pregnant people. I have a trans son and many trans friends. My comment was not promoting hate! Fucking reddit mods
I have a couple of married friends. Both trans guys. They tried to adopt, and their options for surrogacy all fell through. So one of them carried their daughter. He didn't want to do it, but they were out of other options, so he did.
He wasn't "female whilst pregnant". He wasn't a mum, a mum to be, a pregnant woman, or any other term like that. He was a pregnant man, or when needed for clarity, a pregnant transgender man.
I'd ban you too, in a heartbeat, if you brought any of that bullshit in to a trans or queer sub that I moderate.
You having a trans kid doesn't give you permission to walk all over the voices and experiences of trans people trying to navigate pregnancy
24Why is it so hard for some people to just say "ok" and move on because it's important to the other person. ESPECIALLY if "it's no big deal" then just do it and see how much more your NB and trans friends feel comfortable
11Well its an opinion post. So i gave my opinion. Its not hate to have a different opinion. Im sure with further discussion we could have come to some understanding as happened later in that thread. Where i corrected some of my language and further explained my pov. As someone else clarified the opinion of the OP in a way that was easier for me to understand. We were very close to forming a better understanding of language and inclusion that made sense to each of us. Then the OP called me an asshole. Deleted their comment and i got banned.
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In case my deletion of the comment wasn't federated: mb, I didn't realise it was an image post.
2Your experience with your trans friends is wholy different than mine. Maybe its regional or cultural but the FTM trans I know well wouldn't object to being referred to or lumped in with pregnant women on a general basis and if they did they are fully capable of correcting those refering to them with whatever term suits them. For non-binary pregnant person may sufice, for some FTM they may prefer pregnant man. Thats kinda my main problem i think. Health care is such an individual thing. There's absolutely no reason why a doctor, nurse, or receptionist cannot use whatever term the person in front of them prefers instead of the extremely illiteritive term pregnant people. Why not just say the Pregnant? Or heck pregnant individuals if addressing a group? Pregnant people just sounds strange on the tounge and doesn't really suit everyone. As a cis female person I want to be referred to as a pregnant woman not a pregnant person. Your friend maybe would have preferred pregnant man? Idk but why can't we just meet individuals as individuals that they are?
-1Maybe its regional or cultural but the FTM trans I know well wouldn't object to being referred to or lumped in with pregnant women on a general basis and if they did they are fully capable of correcting those refering to them with whatever term suits them.
Cool. Whatever works for them.
But it's worth being aware that as you're not trans yourself, the whole "I have trans friends who are ok with this behaviour many trans people feel is problematic" just sounds like the same excuses bigots have used over the years. "I have black/trans/female friends who are ok with <insert problematic topic>".
Secondly, even if you are accurately representing their perspective, no one is taking away anyones right to identify with whatever terms best work for them. The issue is not pushing terms on to others who don't want them.
Your friends can identify with pregnant women all they like, but it becomes an issue when trans men who don't share that stance get told that they're the problem
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Seems like you put way too much effort in opposing such a simple change. Why care at all if its changed to "people"? You sound a lot like people "just asking questions."
"Biological female" is also a big red-flag.
Some FTM may not even come out until they're already pregnant. Some may choose to not take HRT for the purpose of having a biological child. And you don't need to take HRT to be trans, so it also sound a bit too transmedicalist.
23I never said i oposse it. Just that it sounds weird.
And yeah...should have said assigned female at birth instead of biological female
-6The point is it's none of your business.
5I never said i oposse it.
Fooled me.
Just that it sounds weird.
Seems sus. But honestly its weird what people are about, so I wouldn't really blame you for feeling that way. For example:
"I doubt a label such as 'vitamins for pregnant women' would"
Back when I was an egg (ie: I had no clue I was trans), I remember specifically disliking when my parents got me shampoo with the label "men" on it. I've gone without deodorant because the one I usually got was out of stock and the next closest thing (the only other "vegan" one I knew of) was labeled "men". I've avoided multivitamins marketed for "men". I had no clue why that bothered me... I assumed I was cis-by-default. It still makes no sense why I care about any of that. But I certainly don't doubt there's trans men who care about such labels, even if just a little. Its probably not in the top 100 in the list of priorities, but there's no reason to waste even a sentence defending that kind of wording.
Trans people already deal with enough BS elsewhere. No reason they should tolerate within their own communities. I'm currently banned from such a community I was a regular in and I'll defend them banning me for what they thought I was saying (even though its based on a complete misunderstanding).
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Outside of medical literature, assigned sex at birth is preferable over biological sex, e.g., assigned female at birth.
9Yeah good point.
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I do not care
8You probably shouldn't have been banned but you are wrong. "Female while pregnant" is pretty offensive.
5Thats kinda my whole point. Should i have phrased things differently. Maybe. But banning is such a harse response. How can people have discussions and come to sone sorr of understanding if banning is the immediate response?
5
All this political correctness and the extent we go through to ensure no one's delicate heartstrings will be plucked is what makes this species so fucking pathetic.
5What ever happened to just talking to people? Why can't we change our language to fit the circumstances at hand instead of trying to find one size all solutions? Even among FTM or Non-binary individuals there's no agreement. Some are fine with pregnant woman, some what pregnant person/individual, some want to be referred to as a pregnant man! I dont need to agree with any of that to honor the person in front of me and use their preferred term. Just tell me! Don't assume malice where mistake is probably more likely.
I'm teaching my child to give others grace. Correct others who may mess up his pronouns. If they refuse to try to change then you can be offended. However, understanding that most people are just creatures of habit and don't understand how the other person feels goes a long way towards the end goal of mutual respect. Instantly chastising them and assuming ill intent does not. Speak up for yourself and try to be respectful until its clear the other person isnt willing to be respectful back.
4
ROFLMAO - looks like they had a hissy fit.
The main issues (as my best lesbian friend once chimed in with me) are the people who are rather too quick to find offence, in an aggressive way, rather than offer a correction or an explanation, or simply engage in some discussion to confirm their initial suspicions.
4Exactly! Like just talk with me! Maybe we could reach an understanding. I admit I could have phrased thing better and explained my point more clearly. And i think they could have dropped their assumptions of hate and seen that i meant well but just dont word things right.
2There's no King of the Alphabet People dictating and controlling exactly how everyone behaves. You're dealing with individuals who due to America's (and other) shitty government are dealing with a literal existential crisis. This is a terrifying position to be in. Unfortunately I consider it normal and expected that in a situation like this for people to feel cornered and viciously protective of their safe spaces.
It's not impossible to have a good faith discussion over the Internet. But not everyone wants to have those discussions. Not everyone wants to actually educate and recruit allies. Yes, notice I said "recruit" - it takes mutual effort to build that relationship, and that means both sides need to chill the fuck out and talk without alienating the other.
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To be clear.
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By wierd I simply meant Pregnant People sounds too illliteritive and when abbreviated (as happens in the medical field) it becomes PP which just sounds silly. Pregnant individuals would maybe be better but just The Pregnant or Pregnant is enough.
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Yes i could have phrased things better. Assigned Female at Birth instead of biological female for example.
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My main point is not that my opinions are better then the opinion of the OP or anyone else but that insta banning and assuming hate does nothing to help the cause. We should be able to just talk to eachother and ask questions and come to some sort of agreement (even if its agree to disagree). Insta banning is not an appropriate response here.
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