If you were Jesus, what would you get God for Father's Day?
If you were Jesus, what would you get God for Father's Day?
Super confusing question..
53Don't think too hard on this one, Padre.
11
Spare ribs.
28Oh yeah, some BBQ and just snicker every now and then, hoping he'll get the pun at some point.
3
I'd get Joseph a "The dad that stepped up" mug.
25A large wooden cross, every year, for eternity
14Get yourself something nice that also looks good on the Holy Ghost and you'll all love it.
12Man, I hate shopping for myself...
11Whatever I wanted that week.
#justtrinitythings
10Nothing because he hasn't shown up for anything. He won't even show up to prove his own existence. He's an absent parent.
6a wife that don't cheat.
6Steak and a blowjob
5The door of the castle church of Wittenberg with Luther's 95 theses nailed on them.
5A performance in his honor sounds best. Other things seem either rather worldly for him or too difficult such as restoring Constantinople.
5Fleshlight.
4But like one of those pornstar custom ones of the virgin mary
2
A bobblehead, probably
4Definitely not Roman wine. Last time we drank that, I got hammered!
3I'd probably commission some art of Shadow the Hedgehog on a motorcycle holding a gun. The license plate on the motorcycle would say "ALL0FM3". I feel like he'd appreciate that.
3A threesome, of course.
3So, masturbation?
3
A book on ethics
2Same thing as every year.
A day at the house by himself! No wife. No kids.
2You know that diamond encrusted shit from Roger on American Dad? That. I think God would probably lime one of those.
2More saved souls. That's all He wants.
1A serious answer would probably be working another day on bringing paradise to earth. I think that's what jesus' purpose is.
1One of these. Tell him to wrap it around the polar ice caps, with the reflective side facing the sun, before it’s too late.
0